Choosing the Head Boy
by JKLB
Summary: How did Albus Dumbledore come to choose James Potter for Head Boy? How did Lily Evans choose him for a boyfriend? James Potter's seventh year at Hogwarts. MWPP at 17 Warning: Story is permanently incomplete.
1. July

Disclaimer: Professor Dumbledore and his students are the property of J. K. Rowling.

Author's Note:  In PS/SS, we learned that James Potter was Head Boy at Hogwarts, but in OotP, we learn that we was not a prefect.  Sirius tells us, "Lupin was the good boy, he got the badge."  I wanted to explore how Professor Dumbledore came to the unusual decision of making James the Head Boy.

Choosing the Head Boy Chapter One—July 

Professor Dumbledore looked over the list of new prefects, nodding as he assured himself that each was the best choice from his or her year and house.  In only one instance had he chosen someone other than the student recommended by the head of his or her house.  There had been ten to choose this year, eight fifth-years as usual, plus replacements for two students who had recently died in tragic circumstances.

            And now just two decisions remained.  He had to choose the new Head Boy and Head Girl, and he had no recommendations to guide him.  Or rather, he had four very different recommendations for each, and so these decisions were his alone.  He had observed each of the sixth year prefects throughout the preceding year, slowly making his choices.  Today should merely require that he make those decisions final.

            "What a waste," Dumbledore said softly.  His probable choice for Head Boy, Virgil Catto of Hufflepuff, was one of those he had needed to replace with a new prefect.  His father, Octavius Catto, was an auror.  While he and several other aurors followed a false lead, Death Eaters had entered the Catto home and killed Octavius's wife and three children.  No one believed it a coincidence that the Death Eaters had struck just two nights _after_ the Catto children had come home from Hogwarts for the summer holiday.  A message to the aurors and to the magical community at large—if you oppose us, you risk the safety of your families.

            Dumbledore leaned back in his chair and steepled his fingers against his beard as he comtemplated the other three possible candidates for Head Boy.  None of them was quite right for the job.

            _"Severus Snape,"_ he thought, and then sighed softly.  There had been a time, not long ago, when he would have seriously considered the intense young man for this role.  However, that had been _before_—before the incident with Sirius Black that could have proven fatal for Snape, Potter, and Lupin.  The bulk of the blame lay with Black, of course, but Snape was not completely without blame.  His role in the events leading up to the incident, and his reckless decision to go out of bounds and into the Whomping Willow tunnel, both should preclude his being elevated from prefect to Head Boy.  Even more significant was Snape's behavior in the aftermath of the incident.  He had become more openly antagonistic not only toward the Gryffindors, but to all who were different from himself.  Although it was understandable under the circumstances, Dumbledore could not in good conscience award the role of Head Boy to someone so openly partisan to his own house and to purebloods in general.

            _"Remus Lupin, the true victim of Snape's and Black's feud,"_ Dumbledore thought as he rose and crossed to the window where he could look out upon the grounds.  He had no reason to deny him the role of Head Boy, but he had no reason to award him with it either.  Two years ago, Minerva McGonagall had had high hopes that the sensible young man, given the responsibility of being a prefect, could rein in the excesses of his mischievous friends.  Dumbledore had agreed that he was the best choice of the fifth-year Gryffindor boys, but he had also suspected that Minerva was being overly optimistic.  Young Remus had never stopped being in awe of the fact that his friends accepted him, accepted _a werewolf_, as their friend.  He was unable to find fault with them, even when fault needed to be found.  Their acceptance was far too precious to him.

            Of course, the group dynamic between them had changed significantly in the aftermath of Black almost turning Lupin into a murderer and almost getting him executed by the Ministry.  The friendship between Black and Lupin was severely damaged, and only time would tell if it could be rebuilt.  The pranks had come to a halt, but that was more a result of Black and Potter being shocked into growing up overnight than it was Lupin exerting his influence.

            _"Pleamon Tierney."_  Although the Ravenclaw Prefect was intelligent and had good enough grades to justify being Head Boy, he was as lacking in leadership qualities as Lupin.  Perhaps in some other more peaceful time, he would be an acceptable choice for Head Boy.  However, Hogwarts was beginning to reel under the tension created by the war being waged in the Wizarding World at large.  They needed someone strong and determined who could help pull the student body together.

            As he began to stroke the warm plumage of his pet phoenix, Dumbledore mentally pushed aside the difficult decision and focused instead on the easier decision of Head Girl.  Lily Evans of Gryffindor and Sophia Sinistra of Ravenclaw were equally matched in terms of grades, but in terms of leadership abilities in this difficult time, Evans was by far the better choice.  She had proven time and again her willingness to stand up for what she believed in, and to lead by example.  On more than one occasion, she had stood up against her own classmates when she felt they were taking their feud with the Slytherins too far.  Given that those same Slytherins students despised her for being Muggle-born, Miss Evans was clearly showing great maturity and a exhibiting a higher moral code.

            His only hesitation in awarding her the title of Head Girl was, ironically enough, the fact that she was Muggle-born.  Death Eaters were killing those with Muggle parentage nearly every day, and the higher profile the victim, the better.  To give Evans the Head Girl badge was tantamount to pinning a target on her chest.  Yet, Dumbledore could deny her neither the honour nor the challenge.  He would make sure that she understood the risk entailed and allow her to make her own decision.  If she did accept_—"She'll accept; she's a Gryffindor,"_—Dumbledore would do all he could to protect her by keeping the decision secret until September first and by having the Order guard her during school holidays.

            _"And if Miss Evans is the Head Girl, she'll need the right person as Head Boy to stand by her,"_ Dumbledore thought.  _"Mr. Snape will most certainly not do.  A Muggle-born Gryffindor Head Girl, and a Head Boy with his current attitude toward Muggle-borns and Gryffindors—we'd have open warfare between the houses within a month."_

            Dumbledore found himself considering Lupin once more.  _"He'd certainly stand by his housemate and stand against discrimination, but—"_  He shook his head and made his way back to his desk once again.  _"I'd be asking him to be a leader of the prefects and the student body, and he's never even been a leader within his own group of friends.  Potter's always been the leader of that little gang."_

He pulled a sheet of parchment out of a desk drawer and dipped a quill into a frog-shaped inkwell filled with his favourite purple ink.  "Dear Miss Evans," he began to write, but then paused and stared up at his phoenix.  "_Potter's always been the leader," _he thought again.  And it was true.  James Potter was not only the leader of his gang of mischief makers—_"Former mischief makers,"_ —but had also shown leadership qualities as the captain of the Gryffindor Quidditch team during the past year.  _"If I don't see leadership potential within the prefect ranks, perhaps I should be looking at the Quidditch captains."_  

            He quickly called to mind the four Quidditch captains of the previous year.  The Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw captains had been seventh-years, but Potter and the Slytherin captain, Philip Wilkes, were both entering their seventh-year.  _"Mr. Wilkes would be even more hostile toward Miss Evans than Mr. Snape,"_ Dumbledore thought wryly, and he found himself contemplating James Potter again.

            Less than a year ago, he would not have dreamed of considering Potter for Head Boy.  He was intelligent and had excellent grades—his only true competition for first in his class was his best friend Sirius Black—but Potter's and Black's intelligence and talent had all too often been channeled into less than exemplary pursuits.  _"However, much has changed since that nearly fatal full moon,"_ Dumbledore thought as he steepled his fingers against his beard once again.  _"I think Mr. Potter grew up that night and in the days afterward."  _Not only had the pranks and feuding come to abrupt halt, but on at least one occasion since then, he had seen Potter take the role of peacemaker when the simmering hostility between Black and Snape had threatened to boil over in the Great Hall.  _"If you can call telling your best friend, 'Shut up, you stupid bastard!' and physically dragging him out of the room 'peacemaking'."_

And of course, there was his behavior on that night itself.  _"How many people would face down a fully-grown werewolf and risk their own lives to save another?  And how many fewer would do it to save someone they detest?  If that doesn't demonstrate great maturity and a higher moral code, I don't know what would."_  

Now that the idea had come to him, Dumbledore began to honestly believe that Potter was the ideal choice.  He looked up at the portraits of previous Headmasters and Headmistresses.  A few were absent from their frames, and a few others were taking mid-afternoon naps, but the others were watching him with interest.

"Excuse me," he said to the room at large.  "But I need your advice on a matter."

"It's about time you asked," Niniane Diggory said in an amused tone.  "You've obviously been struggling with some decision.

"I'm choosing the Head Boy and Head Girl for next year."

"Just pick a pair who won't kill each other or—what's the contemporary slang?— shag each other," Philomina Twiggle said.

"Philomina, really!" Armando Dippet exclaimed.

"Don't look so shocked.  I _do_ try to keep current on the latest slang.  How else will I understand half of the gossip I overhear?  And my second year as Headmistress, the Head Girl was pregnant with the Head Boy's child before Christmas.  You'd think that the top students of their year could handle a simple contraceptive charm or sterility potion."

"I think the pair I have in mind will fall in between those two extremes," Dumbledore said with a smile.

"What's the dilemma, Albus?" Rual Goodwing asked.

"The young man I'm considering is not one of the prefects."

"Ahh," Philomina said.  "That is unusual, but not unheard of.  I myself never chose from outside the prefect ranks, but my predecessor," she looked toward an empty frame on another wall, "did do so twice.  Both turned out to be a wonderful Head Boys. One went on to have a very successful career within the Ministry."

Phineas Nigellus Black opened his eyes at this.  "And the other?" he asked with a slight smile.

"Killed in a wizards' duel—by your father, I believe."

"What a shame," he replied in a tone that did not match the sentiment.

"Back to the matter at hand," Dumbledore said.  "So there _is_ precedent for this choice."

"Absolutely," said Niniane Diggory.  "I myself once chose a Head Girl who had not been a prefect.  However, since most people assume that you will choose from among the prefects, expect some backlash against your choice.  Make sure you choose someone who can stand up to the initial resentment the prefects may have."

"I think he's up to that challenge," Dumbledore replied.  He dipped his quill in the inkwell in preparation for continuing the letter to Lily Evans.

"Well?" Philomina demanded.  "Aren't you going to tell us who you chose, Albus?"

"Oh, certainly, if you're interested," he said and put the quill back down.  "You all know him quite well; he's been in here more times than I can count.  James Potter."

"At least you didn't pick the werewolf," Phineas said before closing his eyes again.

* * * * *

"Good news, Prongs," Sirius called across the corridor to his best friend as he quickly read the letter delivered by a Hogwarts owl.  "I just got my list of schoolbooks.  Looks like old Dumbledore hasn't reconsidered letting me stay in school."  There was no reply, so Sirius grabbed a t-shirt off the floor, gave it a quick sniff to make sure it was acceptable to wear, and pulled it over his head as he crossed the corridor into James's bedroom.  He found James sitting on his bed reading his own letter.  "Did you hear me, James?" 

"Dumbledore is insane," James said quietly, his eyes not leaving the parchment in his hand.

"Yeah, well, we've always said he's a bit mad, haven't we?"

"No," James looked up at Sirius with wide eyes.  "This time, he's really cracked.  Completely mad."

"Thanks a lot, mate," Sirius said as he sank down on the end of James's bed.  "I was hoping you'd be a little more pleased that I'm not expelled."

"No," James frowned in annoyance and held out his right hand, "_this_."  On his palm lay a golden badge with the words "Head Boy" embossed over the Hogwarts crest.

"But that's—you can't—he really is mad, isn't he?" Sirius found it hard to tear his eyes away from the golden badge to look back into his friend's eyes.  "The only student less Head Boy material than _you_, is _me_."  James nodded in agreement.

"Is this real?" James asked.  He suddenly thrust the letter at Sirius.  "Is this really Dumbledore's writing?"

Sirius scanned the curvy writing quickly.  "Looks like it, but—"

"But if it's a prank, what's the point?"

"You showing up at Kings Cross Station on September first, thinking that you're the Head Boy, but you aren't.  Pretty embarrassing, that."

"Yeah, but it might be awkward for the real Head Boy too," James pointed out, "and I don't think Snape would do that to Tierney or—" James fell silent as he remembered that the Hufflepuff prefect had been murdered.

"But he would _definitely_ do it to Remus," Sirius said angrily.  

 "Oh God, Sirius, what if Snape's the new Head Boy?  Can you just imagine me showing up at Kings Cross with a fake Head Boy badge and seeing him with the real one?"

"Snivellus Snape?  Head Boy?" Sirius growled.  "Over my dead body."

"C'mon," James said as he jumped off the bed and ran out the door.  "We've got to call Remus and find out if he's Head Boy."

"He'd better be," Sirius said under his breath as he ran out the door on the heels of his friend.  

Sirius bit his nails as he watched his friend crouched in front of the fire, his head encased in green flames.  When he was a child, he had asked his Uncle Alphard how the head of a person making a floo call could be in two places at once.  Alphard had explained, "It isn't.  The head is in just one place, in the flames.  The flames are in two places at once."  Sirius hadn't understood the distinction then, and he still didn't now.

"Well?" he asked when James pulled his head out of the fire and sat back on his heels.

James shook his head.  "It's not Remus.  He got his letter today, but the badge wasn't in it."

"You don't think I bollocksed that up for him, do you?"

"Nah," James said as he pulled off his glasses and rubbed some soot from his eyes.  "Dumbledore knows that Remus had nothing to do with it, and I can't see him holding your stupidity against Remus.  Anyway, Remus said that he's glad it's not him."

Sirius sat up a little straighter at that unexpected information.  He couldn't imagine someone being glad to be passed over for an honour.  "Why?"

"He said it's better if he doesn't get that kind of attention.  'Keep a low profile,' were his exact words.  He's probably right.  He thinks that if he and Snape hadn't become prefects, Snape might never have noticed how frequently he was absent."

"Nosy git."  He scowled and slouched down again, wrapping his arms around himself

James put his glasses back on.  "I told Remus that I really, really want to know who the new Head Boy is.  He said he'd call Tierney and find out if it's him, and if it's not, he'll ask Tierney to call Snape.  He says Snape and Tierney get along well enough for that."

"You didn't tell him that you got a badge," Sirius stated.  James didn't reply.  "Why not?"

"It's embarrassing," James said with a shrug.  "I mean, it's probably just a prank, and I'd hate to have people think I got taken in by it.  And—" James fell silent and stared into the now empty fireplace.

"_Probably_ just a prank?  Will it still be embarrassing if it turns out to be real?"

"It'll be even _more_ embarrassing.  Do you remember how hard a time we gave Remus for becoming a prefect?  I'll never live _this _down."

"Oh, I don't know."  Sirius grinned at James.  "I promise to be your loyal and devoted subject, your High Exalted Head Boy-ness.  I wonder if the Head Girl is your ladylove.  Just think; you might finally get her attention, Prongsy."   

James looked down at the golden badge lying on the floor beside his knee and smiled.

Author's Note—A historical footnote: the real Octavius V. Catto was an important civil rights leader in mid-Nineteenth Century Philadelphia until his murder at age 32.  I happened to read an article about him on the same day that I began this story and so borrowed his name for the brave auror and his unfortunate family.

For all of you waiting for the next chapter of "Cave Canem," I swear that I haven't abandoned it.  It's just that my "Cave Canem" muse took a little vacation while I was writing my R/S stories for my other pen name, and while she was traveling home, she read OotP.  She is now recuperating from the shock in nice hospital in the country.

— July 2003 


	2. September First

Disclaimer: Professor Dumbledore and his students are the property of J. K. Rowling.

Choosing the Head Boy Chapter Two—September First 

            James watched out of the corner of his eye as his best friend vanished into a seemingly solid brick wall.  He then looked around to ensure that none of the surrounding Muggles had noticed Sirius's disappearance and that they were still ignoring the partition between Platforms Nine and Ten.  He took a deep breath preliminary to pushing his own trolley toward the barrier.

            _"This is ridiculous,"_ he thought.  _"I wasn't even this nervous when I was a first year."_  He brushed his hand against the front pocket of his trousers            as if to assure himself that the two objects contained therein were real.  One, solid and metallic, was the source of his discomfort.  The other, a folded piece of parchment, was only slightly more reassuring.  It was his second letter from Professor Dumbledore, the one he had received in response to his own letter beginning, "Dear Professor Dumbledore, I think someone is playing a rather unusual prank on me."

            "If you're contemplating missing the train because you want to get fired as Head Boy," his father said as he put an arm around James's shoulders, "I'd advise against it.  It's probably not a big enough offense for Dumbledore to sack you, and Sirius is counting on you to be on the train."

            James nodded with a couple nervous jerks of his head.  The muscles of his neck and shoulders were just too tense and tight for more fluid movement. "Remus is probably already here," he mumbled.  

Remus was being "civil" to Sirius at the moment, but the easy familiarity of their friendship had not returned.  James gave Remus credit that he was trying to rebuild the relationship rather than cutting Sirius off completely, but James could see that Sirius was pained by every reminder of how far they were from the closeness they had once shared.  A chasm lay between them.  Their mutual friendships with Peter and James helped to fill the chasm, or at least hid it from view.

James took a few steps toward the barrier, but checked his stride as he saw two younger students and their parents coming toward the barrier from another angle.  He glanced around again, checked that the Muggles were too busy in their own comings and goings to notice, and then hurried through the wall himself.

Sirius waited not far away.  "Have a panic attack out there, James?" he asked with a tense smile.

"No."  The word sounded weak and strained.  He cleared his throat in an attempt to continue in a more convincing tone.  "Just letting the younger kids through first."  He glanced over his shoulder at his parents, silently begging them not to call him on the half-lie.  

Sirius didn't notice.  His attention was fixed on the platform near the end of the train.  It was traditional for the four of them to get a compartment as far from the front of the train (and the oversight of the prefects) as possible.  Even after Remus had become a prefect, he had continued to store his trunk in their compartment and to spend as much time with them as his duties would allow.  Last June, however, Remus had entered their compartment only once, and only for a few awkward minutes.

James set off toward the end of the train, and he heard the wheels of Sirius's trolley just behind him.   The sounds of happy voices, students greeting their friends, surrounded them.  James knew that he and Sirius were usually two of the noisiest people on the platform, but happy chatter seemed too difficult for him this morning.  He glanced back at Sirius and saw the worried crease between his brows.  Happy chatter was too difficult for Sirius too.

"Down at the station, early in the morning—" James's father began to sing.

"Dad!"

"Oh lighten up, boys.  You're on your way to school, not a funeral."

James suddenly saw a near duplicate of Sirius standing in the midst of a group of Slytherin fifth years.  He stood at least half a head taller than all of his friends.  James slowed as he approached, and the sound of Sirius's trolley wheels suddenly stopped.  

"Hi, Regulus," Sirius said quietly to his younger brother.

Regulus stared at Sirius for a moment with pale cold eyes; then he turned and boarded the train.  

"Hurry up, James," Sirius said gruffly.  "Let's get on board."

As they drew near the end of the train, James saw Peter disappear on board carrying one end of a trunk.  A moment later, he reemerged and got his owl's cage from a trolley beside a witch who always put James in mind of a shorter version of Queen Mary.  A moment later, Remus stepped down from the train as well.

"I'll go return your trolley," Remus said to Peter.

"Don't bother, Remus," James's father called out.  "We'll take all the trolleys back to the other side of the barrier when we go."

Remus had looked up sharply upon hearing his own name.  His gaze settled on James for only a moment before sliding past him to Sirius.  Remus nodded in greeting but glanced down at the ground before saying, "Hello."

"Hi, Mr. and Mrs. Potter," Peter said with a smile.  "Here to make sure we stay out of trouble until the Express pulls away?"

"Something like that," James's father said.

"Lovely to see you again, Prudence," James's mother said.  "It's hard to believe this is the last September first we'll be seeing these boys off, isn't it?"

"Mary.  Henry.  Good to see you," she replied with a slight incline of her highly-coiffed white head.  "It's refreshing to see that _some_ parents still care enough about their children to see them off."

Peter rolled his eyes and huffed in exasperation at his mother's rudeness.  Still holding his owl's cage in one hand, he grabbed the cage of James's owl in the other and carried both onto the train.

"Sirius has _us_ to see him off on the train, Prudence," James's father said sharply.  He put his arms around both Sirius's and James's shoulders as if to emphasize his point.

"I think Mrs. Pettigrew is referring to my mother being at work," Remus said lightly as he grabbed the end of the nearest trunk, Sirius's trunk.  Sirius darted forward and grabbed the other end.  James and his father lifted James's trunk and followed them on board.

"Well, Julia knows that Remus is mature enough to come to the station himself," James heard his mother say.  "I wish I could say that about these two."  James's father winked at James and smiled.

Sirius and Remus lifted Sirius's trunk into the overhead rack with ease.  It was actually a remarkable feat since James knew how heavy the three-lock trunk was without a lightening charm.  Remus then assisted James and his father in stowing James's trunk beside it.

"Thanks, Remus," the black-haired boys said simultaneously.

"You're welcome," he said quietly.  He then sat down in the corner, out of the way, rather than go back outside where Mrs. Pettigrew and Mrs. Potter waited.

"Guess I have to say 'Good-bye' to her," Peter muttered as he went back out.  Sirius, James, and his father followed him out.

"Thank you again for letting me stay with you this summer, Mrs. Potter," Sirius said as he held out a hand to James's mother.

She gave Sirius a hug instead.  "You'll always be welcome, Sirius.  Henry and I told you to consider us your family, and we meant it."  Sirius nodded and cleared his throat as if to speak, but he merely smiled slightly and nodded again.  He shook Mr. Potter's hand and returned inside.

After James kissed his mother good-bye, his father led him far enough away from the Pettigrews that they wouldn't overhear.  "I'm going to make two requests and give you one piece of advice.  My first request, don't rub it in Severus Snape's nose that you're Head Boy instead of him.  My second request," he smiled wickedly, "write and tell me _exactly_ how he reacts when he finds out."

James chuckled.  "O.K., Dad."

"Now, on a more serious note, my advice.  I have always found, whenever I'm in doubt, that the wisest course of action is to defer to your mother's good judgment.  You can never go wrong if you listen to an intelligent woman.  So, Mr. Head Boy, whenever you are in doubt, defer to the Head Girl."

"Depends on who the Head Girl is.  Evans, Sinistra, or Hopkins, no problem.  If it's Sirius's cousin Bellatrix, no way."

"Some things go without saying," his father agreed.

After hugging his father good-bye, James returned to the compartment to find Remus and Sirius attempting to make polite conversation.

"—mostly gardening for some of the neighbors."

"Yeah, I can tell you were out in sun.  You got some freckles on your nose."

"No, I don't." 

"Just a few," Sirius said to floor.

As Peter entered behind James, Remus unclenched his hands, which had been tightly folded in his lap, and stood up.  "I've, uh—I've got to go play prefect now.  I'll be back later."  He turned and headed into the corridor.

"Wait up, Remus," James called as he followed him.  "I'll walk down with you."

"Good luck!" Sirius called after him.

Remus looked back suspiciously but kept walking.  "If you're coming with me because you can't wait another moment to get shot down by Lily again, fine," Remus said over his shoulder, "but if you're coming with me so you can tell me why I should lighten up on Sirius, save your breath.  I'm doing the best I can."

"I know," James replied.  "You're being nicer to him than that stupid sod deserves."

Remus smiled wryly.  "Thanks.  So how's he doing, _really_—you know, with his family and all."

"Well, that little snot Regulus just refused to speak to him.  That hurt.  But overall, I don't think he has any regrets that he walked out on them.  You know how miserable he used to get every time he went home or even thought about going home."

Remus nodded.

"He was _much_ happier this summer."

Remus suddenly averted his eyes away from James and looked straight ahead.

"I mean, he was miserable about the problems between you two, but—"

"It's O.K., James.  I know what you mean."  Remus stopped outside an open compartment door and addressed the three younger boys inside  "Cleverer students wouldn't attempt to ignite a dung bomb while a prefect is just outside their compartment," he paused while they hurriedly stuffed several dung bombs into an open canvas bag, "_and_ they would use a time delay charm unless they _want_ to reek.  If you don't know any time delay charms, _The Standard Book of Spells, Level Three_, page—"  Remus looked back at James with a puzzled look on his face.

James shook his head.  "I know the charm, not the page." 

Remus nodded and resumed walking.  

"Law abiding prefect," James snorted.

"Let's just call it, 'Tutoring younger students in Charms'," Remus said with a smile.  "Speaking of being a prefect, we've got a mystery on our hands.  No one has fessed up to being the new Head Boy or Girl yet."

"Head Girl too?" James asked in surprise.

"That's the strange part," Remus said.  "When we couldn't find out who the new Head Boy was, I just figured that Dumbledore was having trouble choosing.  We all kind of figured it would be Virgil Catto, and— Well, anyway, maybe after Virgil died, Dumbledore needed time to rethink it all.  But I've checked around and no one's admitting to being the Head Girl either."

"Strange," James murmured.  He took a deep breath and got ready to tell Remus.  He knew that Remus deserved to know before anyone else, and he had really meant to tell him sooner—but he hadn't wanted to tell _anyone_ until he received Dumbledore's reply, and after he got the reply, he wanted to tell Remus in person, but then Remus had avoided seeing James (and Sirius) in person, so—here he was minutes away from everyone knowing and he still hadn't told Remus.

"I really hope Pleamon Tierney is the new Head Boy," Remus continued.  "I don't want to be it, and if it's Snape, he'll make my life hell.  You just know he'll deliberately schedule me to patrol the halls during every—you know—just so I have to trade off with people every month.  It's no big deal to trade once in awhile, but every month gets a little sus—"

"It's not Snape," James interrupted. "In fact, it's someone who will definitely work your schedule around _your schedule_."

"Yeah, who'd do—" Remus began to ask.  Then he turned toward James with a strange expression of _almost_ understanding.  A girl's voice prevented him from asking the obvious question.

"Hi Remus!  Guess what?"

Remus and James both turned to look behind them.  Elinor Bagshot and Darius Murphy, Gryffindor fifth years, were both wearing new prefects' badges on their clothes.  Elinor was already in her school robe, but Darius had merely pinned his onto his sweater.

"Congratulations, Elinor, Darius," Remus acknowledged.  "Welcome to the ranks of the despised and unappreciated."

"Thanks, I think," Darius said.

"Just keep going until you get to the front carriage," Remus said.  "We'll be along in a moment.  You _are_ going all the way to the front, aren't you, James?"

"Apparently," James said as the two younger prefects squeezed past them.  "Although I still don't understand why he picked me.  You don't mind, do you?"

Remus smiled.  "Are you kidding?  I can't wait to see Snape's face when—speak of the devil."  Remus grinned even broader for just a moment as he saw Severus Snape approach with Bellatrix Black and a sixth year Slytherin prefect.  Then the smile was gone.

_"Poker face,"_ James thought as he matched Remus's calm expression.

"Aren't you at the wrong end of the train, Potter?" Snape asked.  "Or are you here to hold your pet's leash?"

James was momentarily confused by the obvious dog reference and almost looked around to see if Sirius had joined them.  Then he remembered that that secret, at least, was still a secret.  _"Dog joke, wolf joke, very funny.  You won't be so smug in a few  minutes, Snivellus."_  "You know us stupid Gryffindors, Snape, we go everywhere in groups," he said calmly.

"Don't you mean 'in packs'?"

James felt Remus stiffen beside him.  _"This is going to be a very long year,"_  James thought.  _"He's going to drop hints until someone figures it out, or he drives Remus mad with worry."_  James cocked his head and pretended to think about Snape's question for a moment.  "I don't know.  What _do_ you call a group of lions, Remus?  Is it a pack?"

"No, I believe they are called a pride."  A warning whistle signaled that the Hogwarts Express would soon pull out of the station.

"So they are," James said as put a hand on Remus's shoulder and gave him a slight nudge to resume walking toward the front of the train.  He continued speaking loudly enough that the Slytherins walking with Snape would overhear. "But I don't know if I like that.  I mean, what would I call you?  My fellow pride member?—too long.  My pridemate?—too weird.  Maybe we should just take Severus's advice and call the Gryffindors a pack of lions.  Want to be my packmate, Remus?"

Remus glanced back at James with a slight smile.  Snape could make all the pack references he wanted; James had effectively rendered them harmless.

As they entered the front carriage, James immediately began to scan the students mingling in the corridor looking for the auburn hair of Lily Evans.  Of its own accord, his hand strayed up to his unruly hair and emphasized the windswept look.  He nearly collided with her as she stepped out of a compartment door and the train suddenly lurched forward.

"Hey, Lily." He knew that he was grinning like a fool, but _really_, with Lily only an inch away in the crowded corridor, he had a good excuse.  Freckles speckled her nose and the tops of her cheeks.  He thought they set off her emerald eyes rather nicely.

"Oh!  Hello, James.  What are you doing up here?"

"Excellent question," Bellatrix sneered.  "You escorted your little boyfriend up here; you can run along now."

"No, he's here to drool over Evans," Snape said as he pushed his way between them and headed farther forward.  "Your cousin is the one who drools over Lupin."

"Let's just get the meeting started, shall we?" Lily said sharply.  She made her way to the section of the corridor halfway between the front two compartments. "Would the fifth and sixth year prefects all find a seat.  The seventh years can stay here in the corridor if they want.  That way everyone can hear."  

James flattened himself against the wall beside Remus as younger students all found their places.  James noticed that the Slytherins and Gryffindors had made a point of sitting in different compartments.  The Hufflepuffs and Ravenclaws filled in the empty seats.  A new Slytherin prefect caught James's eye.  He glanced over at Remus and saw that he was looking in the same direction.

"Look around, everyone, and see if anyone from your house isn't here yet," Lily said as soon as everyone seemed to find their chosen places.

"You can sit here, Remus," Elinor said hopefully.

"Thank you, Elinor, but I think I'll stay out here."

"You can run along now, Potter," Snape said, "unless Dumbledore's latest bit of favoring the Gryffindors was to make you a prefect."

James shook his head.  "Nope, not a prefect."  He glanced at Remus and saw his "No, I'm not up to anything, Professor" expression was still firmly in place.  "But I was hoping to hang around long enough to find out who the new Head Girl is.  I hear it's quite a secret this year.  Anyone want to confess?"

Lily raised her hand and smiled.  She then immediately turned to Sophia Sinistra and Tansy Hopkins.  "I'm so sorry I didn't tell you the truth when you asked this summer, but Professor Dumbledore insisted that I not tell _anyone_ before today."

"That's O.K., Lily," Tansy said.  "Congratulations."

"Congratulations.  You deserve it," Sophia agreed.

Remus suddenly stiffened and turned his head toward the compartment containing the Slytherin prefects.  James looked at him questioningly, but Remus didn't explain what he'd heard.

"Only one mystery remaining," Remus said as he looked pointedly at Snape.  "Who's the new Head Boy?"

"I don't care who it is, as long as he's _human_," Snape declared quietly as he stared back at Remus.  The hatred in Snape's eyes made James wonder just how badly he would have reacted if the new Head Boy were the werewolf who almost killed him.  James slowly raised his hand.  Snape's dark eyes flicked to James; the hatred there did not abate one bit.

"Very funny, Potter," Bellatrix said.  "You aren't even a prefect, as you yourself pointed out."

"Actually, it isn't necessary to have been a prefect in order to become Head Boy or Girl," Lily pointed out.   Bellatrix glared at with her with undisguised loathing.  Snape was still silently staring at James.  He only turned away when James pulled from his pocket the golden badge and showed it to Remus.  

James looked up with a smile at Lily, hoping he had finally done something worthy of her approval.  She was smiling, but her eyes were wary.  If James had to guess what she was thinking, it would be a combination of, "Congratulations," and "What has Dumbledore done to me now?"

"Now that that's out of the way," Lily said as she pulled a pile of papers out of her bag and began to pass them around, "let's get down to business.  I made up a schedule for us to patrol the train today—don't worry, you all get your fair share of free time—and a schedule for the first two nights back at school. We'll have our first prefects' meeting on the third at eight o'clock, unless someone has a conflict already."  She looked at Remus, and he shook his head very slightly.

James took a quick look at the schedule as he received a copy.  The first hour on the train, the fifth year Hufflepuffs, the sixth year Gryffindors, and the seventh year Ravenclaws had patrol duty.  During the second hour, it was the fifth year Slytherins, the sixth year Hufflepuffs, and the seventh year Gryffindors.  It continued on in this way, rotating through the houses and years.  James noted that the schedule was on white Muggle paper, rather than parchment, and that his copy and Remus's were identical, even down to a mistake that had been crossed out.  He wondered what kind of copying charm she had used and how she had gotten away with using that charm during the summer.

"After that first meeting," she continued, "James and I will make up the first patrol schedule.  The master one will be posted in the prefects' office, and you'll each receive copies as well.  We'll make a new schedule every two months.  Tell us in advance of any conflicts you have—you know, Quidditch practice, study groups, that sort of thing—and we'll try to accommodate you.  However, if a conflict comes up _after_ the schedule is posted, it's your responsibility to make sure your shift is covered.  Trading with other prefects is fine, but you must write in the changes on the master schedule in the office.  Changes on the master schedule will show up on everyone's copies.

"The prefects' office is near the library; have another prefect show you if you don't know where.  The password will be—James?"  She waited expectantly.  Several passwords whirled through James's mind, but half were insulting to the Slytherins and the other half had to do with Quidditch.

Then he knew.  "Emerald eyes," he said with a smile.  He wasn't sure if Lily really blushed, or if it were wishful thinking on his part, but she did drop her eyes and look down at the floor before replying.

"'Emerald eyes'.  It goes without saying, but I'll say it anyway, _only_ prefects are allowed to know the password.  Oh, and that goes double for the passwords for the prefects' bathrooms.  I'll set the password for the girls' bathroom tonight and then let you know what it is."

"Tell us _now_, Lily," said one of the male prefects.  Several people laughed and the girl beside him gave him a shove.

After a few more messages, the meeting broke up.  Those who did not have patrol duty during the first hour were free to stay in the front of the train or head back to see other friends.  James was quite pleased when Lily made a point of joining Remus and himself as they walked back through the train.

"Lily, may I just say, 'Wow!'" James said with a smile.  "I now know what it means to live in a benign dictatorship.  You can order me around any day."

"Well, the next meeting, expect to do more than listen.  I took over today since you don't know the ropes yet, but I expect you to carry your fair share from here out."

"I'll do my best."

She paused outside the compartment where Elinor Bagshot was now sitting with her friends.  "Elinor, you get to pick Gryffindor's first password of the year.  Make sure you go tell it to the Fat Lady when we first get to school and then come back to the feast and tell us.  That way if anyone wants to leave the feast early they can."  Elinor grinned and nodded.  "And when you see Darius, remind him that he's in charge of escorting our first years up to the common room." 

"O.K.," Elinor said.  She then looked past Lily at Remus.  "Any suggestions for the password, Remus?"

"Just pick something unlikely to be in everyday conversation," he replied.  "You don't want the portrait hole to open just because someone happened to say the right words."

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that."

Lily giggled as they walked away.  "Someone has a crush," she whispered in a sing-song voice.

"Shut up, Evans," Remus said, but he sounded amused.

"Make sure you show Darius and James where the Prefects' bathroom is tonight.  James has to set a password."

"I already know where it is," James said.

"Why am I not surprised?" Lily said as she looked between the two young men with an exasperated smile.  "Well, here I am," she said as she stopped outside the compartment containing some of her friends.  "Maybe I'll see you later when we have patrol duty.  Even though you aren't a prefect and aren't _technically_ on the schedule, James, just go on duty when Remus does."

"Sure."

"Lily, will you do me a favor?" Remus asked.  "Wait for James and I to come get you for patrol duty.  In fact, don't go anywhere alone for a few days.  Walk with your friends or one us whenever you leave the common room."

James looked at Remus in confusion and then wondered if this strange request had anything to do with whatever Remus had overheard the Slytherin prefects say.  Lily did not seem confused by Remus's request.  She merely smiled, nodded, and said, "Thanks," as she gave Remus's arm a squeeze.

            "Hey, Sirius," James said when they reached their own compartment, "Guess who the new Slytherin prefect is."

            Sirius stared for a moment, considering.  Then he made a noise of disgust and knocked his head back against the wall behind him. "Mother must be _thrilled_."

Author's Note:  I've had some people ask if Lily glances at Remus when she asks if anyone has a conflict on September third because she knows that he is a werewolf or because she's merely noticed his frequent absences.  It's the latter.  She's noticed his frequent absences but has believed his excuses.  If she had figured that he was a werewolf, she'd already know exactly when he would be absent, and she'd know that the third would not be a conflict.


	3. September Third

Disclaimer: Professor Dumbledore and his students are the property of J. K. Rowling.

Choosing the Head Boy Chapter Three—September Third 

            Lily and her friends arrived at breakfast prepared.  Each one carried, in addition to her bookbag, a pair of soundproof earmuffs.  After several howlers arrived with yesterday's owls, Professor Artemisia had offered the young women the earmuffs usually used when tending mandrakes.  They sat together at the end of the Gryffindor table farthest from the staff table; the other Gryffindors and the Ravenclaws all crowded together as far from her as they could.  Their precautions were not in vain.  No less than eight howlers were dropped in front of Lily.  After looking around to ensure that everyone sitting near her was wearing earmuffs, Lily flicked her wand at the red envelopes, opening all of them simultaneously.  She then smiled as she ate her breakfast unperturbed.

            James and Sirius hurried into the Great Hall just a moment before the earsplitting racket began.  They put their hands over their ears and ducked back outside the door.  With all the howlers screaming at once, it was impossible to follow any one message, but certain words, like "Mudblood," "bitch," and "death" seemed to jump out.  When the last howler concluded with the words "—won't live to see June," the two young men stared at each other grimly and reentered the Great Hall.

            "Did you enjoy my fan mail?" Lily asked with a grin as James and Sirius sat down near her.  "Now it's time for the rest."  Howlers weren't the only mail she had received that morning.  Lily and her friends began to carefully sort through the various items.  

            "This envelope is squishy," Maisie said.

            "Don't open it," Lily said quickly.  "There was a squishy one yesterday and it had bubotuber puss in it.

            "This one is Muggle paper and has a return address from your parents.  Is it their handwriting?"

            Lily glanced at it.  "Uh-huh.  Just drop it in my bag, and I'll read it later."

            "Eww!  This one is sticky!" Eurydice said as she dropped a lavender envelope back on the table.

            "Go wash your hands," Lily said as she burned the lavender envelope.  "It might be poisonous."  Eurydice hurried out, holding her hands out in front of her. 

            "This one looks like it might be O.K.," Isabel said.  "Do you know someone named Cornelia Nemo?"  Lily shook her head.

            "Don't open it if you don't know the sender," Sirius warned.

            "I did get a few supportive ones yesterday from strangers," Lily said.  "Let me take a look; I'll be careful."  As she unfolded the parchment, a small amount of greyish-brown powder fell onto part of her right hand.  Almost immediately, a thick brown growth spread over the affected portion of her hand.  Lily froze and stared at her hand.

            "Let me see," Sirius said as he reached out and took her by the wrist.  "Looks like wartcap powder.  It's pretty harmless if you get it off quickly, but it becomes permanent if you don't get it off within half an hour."

"Oh God," Lily murmured as she simultaneously tried to stand and to pull her hand back from Sirius, but Sirius held tight.

"Hang on," he said. He pulled out his wand, tapped the brown scab with it, and her skin returned to normal. He then incinerated the blank parchment and the wartcap powder on the table. "Washing it wouldn't have had any effect."

"Thanks," Lily said as she rubbed her left hand over her right and then put both in her lap. "How'd you know what it was?"

Sirius smiled wryly. "I got some in letter after I got sorted into Gryffindor—from my Aunt Io."

"Your aunt?" 

Sirius shrugged. "She's my aunt by marriage." He looked at James. "You met her once. Bellatrix's mum." James turned around and looked at the Slytherin table. Bellatrix appeared happier than she had since Lily's announcement on the train.

* * * * *

"I hope that all the new prefects have learned where the prefects' bathrooms are by now, and that all of you have learned the passwords. I told at least one prefect from each house," Lily said as she glanced at the list of items she wanted to cover during the meeting.

"I don't know it yet," said Marcus Greenleaf of Ravenclaw.

"Ask me after the meeting," James instructed.

"No, I meant the one for the girls' bathroom," Marcus said with a grin.

James grinned back. "Ask me after the meeting," he said again.

Severus scowled as Potter's newest "fan club" laughed at the adolescent joke. The meeting was going much as he had anticipated. Evans was as ruthlessly efficient as she had been on the train, which in Severus's eyes merely highlighted Potter's shortcomings. _"His only contributions so far have been a few asinine jokes and a few items that Evans probably scripted for him,"_ Severus thought as his scowl deepened. _"Not that Potter would let a little thing like being completely unqualified prevent him from lording his new status over us all. He even has to sit higher than the rest of us."_

Evans was sitting on a loveseat beside a Gryffindor fifth year. Potter was perched on the arm of the loveseat beside Evans, peeking occasionally at her notes.

Severus had already been present when the three Gryffindor seventh years had arrived en masse. He had observed with amusement as the fifth year girl, sitting alone on a loveseat, had watched Lupin expectantly, hoping that he would sit with her. When Lupin sat on an armchair instead, Evans had chosen to sit with the younger girl.

Severus was tempted to tell the stupid girl that she was the wrong gender to be Lupin's type—although he wasn't completely certain of that—or that she was the wrong species to be his type. Of that, he was certain, but he was forbidden to tell. The threat of expulsion hung over his head if he did. _"I'll be expelled if I do my fellow students the service of warning them that there is a dangerous monster in their midst—but the precious Gryffindors actually tried to commit murder and not only were they not expelled, but one was made Head Boy. Such is the fairness of life. Such is the fairness of Albus Dumbledore."_

Severus's options for striking back were severely limited, so who could blame him for taking an opportunity when it presented itself? He was fairly certain that one would soon present itself if he merely watched the werewolf patiently. The Gryffindors had arrived with sweets nicked from the kitchen. The sweets had been passed around, and the remainder now lay on a table in the center of the circle within easy reach of the werewolf and others. When Lupin took a chocolate chip cookie from the tray, Severus seized his opportunity.

"Don't wolf it down, Lupin."

As Severus and Lupin stared at each with mutual dislike, Severus was pleased to notice the sudden silence. His little dig at the werewolf had shut up Potter in mid-sentence. Potter only resumed speaking when Lupin glanced at him and shook his head slightly.

A minute later, as Evans tied up a few loose ends, and the meeting was obviously drawing to a close, Potter circled around behind Severus's chair.

"May I speak to you privately, Snape?" he said quietly. Evans faltered in what she was saying for a moment and glared at Potter. As he followed Potter out, Severus glanced at the werewolf. Lupin seemed as worried as Evans. Severus didn't know quite what he expected Potter to do or say when the door closed behind them, but what he heard was not it. "Why can't you leave him alone?"

Severus snorted. "Why should I? Did any of you ever leave me alone?"

"If you're angry with me, take it out on me. If you're angry with Sirius, take it out on Sirius," Potter hissed. "But leave Remus out of it; he's never done anything to you."

Severus arched an eyebrow in disbelief. "Except try to kill me—or have you forgotten already? Have you fed so many people to your pet monster that you've forgotten who they were?" Severus began to walk away, but Potter grabbed his arm. "That wasn't his fault! And you know it!"

Potter's grip was uncomfortably tight—probably from endless hours of flying—but Severus wouldn't give Potter the satisfaction of showing discomfort.

"No, I _don't_ know that. Nor do I believe that." He wrenched his arm out of Potter's grasp just as the office door opened and prefects began to spill into the corridor.

"Fine," Potter said angrily as Severus resumed walking away, "but I will tell Dumbledore that you're dropping hints left and right."

Severus scowled again as he strode away. Dumbledore would take the Gryffindors' side, again. Severus knew that he was playing with fire when he dropped those hints. The Headmaster had made it clear that if _anyone_ else learned that Lupin is a werewolf, Snape would be expelled. Whether or not they could trace the information back to him was irrelevant. He had been walking a fine line, hoping that the hints were obvious enough to terrify the werewolf, but not so obvious that the idiots around them would catch on. It had been a stupid risk to take, and it would have to stop.

He couldn't go straight back to the common room. If he were the first one to return from the prefects' meeting, people might ask him about it—or seek him out to commiserate about the injustice of the Head Boy and Girl honours going to the idiot Quidditch star and the uppity Mudblood bitch. And although Severus partially agreed, he preferred his misery in solitude. He had listened to his housemates complain for three days straight; he was ready for silence.

The worst had been Bellatrix Black. She seemed to consider Evans's elevation to Head Girl as a personal insult. She had convinced herself that her impressive pedigree would guarantee her the honour. Severus was tempted to tell her what he really thought; Sophia Sinistra deserved to be Head Girl. Her bloodlines were just as pure, almost as blue, and her grades were better. At least Potter's little "chat" with him had given him an excuse not to walk back with her and the other Slytherins. He'd had quite enough whining for one day.

Lily was in a fury when James reentered the office. She grabbed James's arm and pulled him as far from the door and the departing prefects as she could.

"Our first meeting and you had to pick a fight with Snape? Will you ever grow up?" Although she kept her voice low, her anger was clear in her tone.

"I did _not_ get in a fight with him," James insisted quietly. He heard the door close, glanced back to see that only Remus remained in the office with them, and raised his voice to include him. "I _didn't_. I didn't hit him, hex him, or even threaten him—not that he wouldn't deserve all three."

"James," Lily said warningly.

James ignored her and looked directly at Remus. "I just asked him to leave you alone, and I told him that I plan to tell Dumbledore the stuff he's been saying."

"What stuff?" Lily asked.

"O.K., thanks," Remus said. "Are you two going back to the tower now, or do you want to work on the schedule here?"

"We might as well work here," James said as he looked back at Lily again, "so we can post it in here as soon as we're done. Don't you agree?" He hoped she would. He could think of worse fates than spending an hour or two alone with Lily.

"Fine," she muttered as she returned to the loveseat where her notes lay. "Don't tell me what's going one. See if I care if you and Snape are an inch away from killing each other and you won't tell me why." She grabbed two cookies and then looked up at Remus with a wry smile. "Do me a favor, Remus? Take the rest of these back to the common room with you. I don't want to be tempted all evening."

"Sure," he said as he took the tray and headed for the door.

"Hey, Re!" James called after him. "Don't wolf 'em all down on the way." Remus gave James a glare that made him laugh. "Remus can't resist chocolate," he explained to Lily.

"That makes two of us," she replied just before she took a bite of a chocolate chip cookie. She pulled the table closer to the loveseat and placed on it the notes from a few Prefects explaining their commitments that could conflict with patrol duty. "The schedule should be easy to make this time. Things like study groups and Quidditch practice haven't started yet, so we only have a few conflicts to work around. Expect massive trading-off of shifts this month and next as conflicts start. By the time we make the next schedule, we'll probably be deluged with conflicts to work around, but there'll be less trading-off necessary."

"Harder for us; easier for them. Got it." James sat beside her on the loveseat and glanced through the notes. "Piano lessons?"

"Um-hmm. Tansy and a couple of other students take piano lessons from a woman who lives in Hogsmeade. Tansy's the only one who's a prefect though."

"Do they go to Hogsmeade?"

"No, Professor Dumbledore arranged for the teacher to come here. There are a few music rooms on the second floor."

"Yeah, I've seen them. I just didn't know anyone used—oh, Tansy has to reschedule this lesson," he said as he circled a date in October. "It's a full moon; it wouldn't be safe for the teacher to walk home after moonrise."

Lily continued writing names on a rough draft of the schedule. "And you know the date of October's full moon why?"

James shrugged. "Because I'm naturally brilliant?"

"Brilliant—and modest?"

* * * * *

Just as Lily was writing the last few names on September's master schedule, and James was finishing October's, they heard a knock on the door. They looked at each other in confusion. Prefects knew the password and wouldn't need to knock, and they couldn't imagine who else would come to the office. James discretely drew his wand as he went to the door. He wouldn't quickly forget the death threat Lily had received that morning. To his relief, it was just Remus and Sirius on the other side of the door.

"We were just passing by and wondered if you two wanted to walk back with us to the tower," Remus explained as they stepped inside.

"You know, so we can help you defend your honour from bludgered-brains here," Sirius added. "Nice place; it's like our common room except purple and white."

"Ivory. They're house-neutral colours," Lily said as she finished September's schedule and pulled October's closer. "We'll go back with you; we'll be done in a minute."

As Remus hung September's schedule on the wall and chatted with Lily, Sirius beckoned James into the hallway. James grinned at him.

"You and Remus must be getting along better. What were you up to tonight that you're just going back to the tower now?"

Sirius shook his head. "We were in the tower. Remus said that when he came back after the meeting, there were a few Slytherins along the route, _and_ they were keeping out of sight. He didn't want you two to walk back alone. We came here just to help you escort Lily back safely. They might try something against two of you, but probably not four of us."

"Damn snakes," James swore under his breath. "You certainly timed it well. We were just finishing up."

Sirius grinned. "Remus's idea. His copy of the duty schedule filled in as you two filled in the master one. He just kept one eye on it while he did his homework, and then he told me when it was time to go."

"Why'd you knock? Remus knows the password."

Sirius laughed. "He wouldn't say it in front of me. You'd almost think Moony doesn't trust me not to boobytrap this place or something. So what _is_ the password?"

"It's 'I'm a daft git,' but you have to say it pretty loudly or it won't work."


	4. October and November

Disclaimer: Professor Dumbledore and his students are the property of J. K. Rowling.

Author's note regarding dates—JKR was once asked in an interview how old Professor Snape is, and she replied that he was about thirty-five.  However, it was unclear if she meant that he was about thirty-five in PS/SS or in GoF (which had just come out about the time of the interview).  I've always gone with the idea that he was thirty-five in GoF, and in all my previous stories, I've assumed that he and his classmates graduated from Hogwarts in 1978.  

However, after reading OotP and learning that Sirius's younger brother died in 1980, and that he had been a Death Eater for an indefinite period before that, I'm inclined to make Sirius and his generation a few years older.  So—let's say for the sake of argument (and for the sake of accuracy regarding full moons) that they will graduate in 1976.

Choosing the Head Boy Chapter Four—October and November 

            As Lily reviewed what students were and were not permitted to do during the upcoming Hogsmeade weekend, James kept one eye on Remus sitting in the corner.  He looked weary and pale and was yawning frequently.  The full moon had been the night before, and James had tried to talk him into skipping the prefects' meeting.  Remus had said that he'd only skip if the meeting were during the full moon itself, and that he trusted James to prevent that occurrence.

            James had caught Snape watching Remus with a sour expression a couple of times.  He knew exactly what was ailing the Gryffindor.  James kept expecting a scathing comment all evening, but none came.

"If you haven't already done so, make sure you give Lily or I a list of any conflicts you have for patrol duty.  We'll post the schedule for November and December as soon as possible.  Anything else?" James asked Lily.

            She shook her head.  "Just have fun in Hogsmeade this weekend."

            "But not too much?" James asked her with a grin.

            "Yes, James, not too much.  Everyone else in this room, I trust your own common sense."

            The prefects began to depart.  A few delayed briefly to speak to others or to give a note to Lily or James.  Remus gave them a quick wave as he left.  Two prefects, a Ravenclaw girl and Tony Huang, a Hufflepuff sixth-year, deliberately remained behind.

            "Is something up?" James asked.  They glanced at James but addressed Lily.

            "I know this isn't a very big deal compared with what you've been dealing with," Tony said, "but Caroline insisted that we mention it to you."

            "What happened?" Lily asked.

            "We've both had incidents recently where students were breaking rules but refused to listen to us because we're Muggle-born," Caroline explained in a soft voice.

            It was the first time that James had ever heard her speak.  He could easily imagine her quiet voice and manner failing to gain the attention, let alone the respect, of more exuberant students—such as he had once been.

            "Are you certain it was because you're Muggle-born?" he asked her.

            Caroline gave James a scathing look.  "Maybe not.  Do you think I misinterpreted, 'We don't take orders from a filthy little Mudblood'?"

            "Oh."  Abashed, James sat down.

            "I guess we should have seen this coming," Lily said with a pensive frown.  She sank down into an armchair, and Caroline and Tony both took seats near her.  "The same thing happened to me when I was a fifth year."

            "What did you do?" Tony asked.

            "In my case, the student was a Slytherin.  I told the Head Girl, who also happened to be a Slytherin.  She said that she'd handle it.  I don't know what she said or did, but it never happened again—until this year.  Unfortunately, that solution isn't going to work for us.  Those students who don't respect you aren't going to respect me either.  And James isn't much better.  He's a pureblood, but he's almost universally despised in Slytherin."

            "One of my proudest achievements."  This earned him another scathing look from Caroline.  _"At least Lily isn't giving me that look," _he thought.

            "And it isn't just Slytherins," Tony pointed out.  "The time it happened to me, it was a group with two Slytherins and a Ravenclaw."

            "Albert Marsh," Caroline said.  Judging by the look on her face, she didn't like him much more than she liked James.  "But he hangs out with Slytherins so often that your point is valid.  Neither of you can solve this."

            Lily looked directly at James.  "You do realize who could help us—Severus."

            James hated to admit that Snape was the solution to anything, but Lily was right.  If the prefects were to have any hope of solving this themselves, their best hope was the assistance of a Slytherin seventh-year.  Bellatrix Black wouldn't help.  Not only did she openly avow her belief that purebloods were superior to Muggle-borns, but she would love to see disaster mar her rival's tenure as Head Girl.  With Snape, on the other hand, they might have to contend with his desire to see James fall flat on his face, but two other factors would probably outweigh that desire.  First, James didn't believe that Snape had any innate bias against Muggle-borns.  He could think of only two instances when Snape had called anyone a Mudblood, and both times were when Snape was feeling especially vulnerable and vindictive.  Second, Snape liked rules and order.  He wouldn't allow the prefect system to fail if he could prevent it.

            "He might help," James admitted, "but you'd better ask him when I'm not around.  He won't help if I ask."

            "On the contrary, I don't think he'll help unless you _do_ ask," Lily replied, "and groveling may be required."

            "You're a cruel woman, Evans."

* * * * *

            Lily had asked Snape to meet them in the prefects' office the following evening.  Even with cutting Quidditch practice short, James was the last to arrive.  Lily was already explaining the situation, so James tried to slip into the room as unobtrusively as possible, but unobtrusive was difficult to achieve while Snape was watching him like a hawk.

            "Are just Slytherins giving them trouble so far?" Snape asked.

            "And one Ravenclaw," Lily replied.

            "Albert Marsh, by any chance?"

            "How did you know?" she asked in slight surprise.  "Did you hear about it?"

            "No, he was just the most likely subject.  There are many, in _every_ house, with similar beliefs, but Marsh has the most to prove."

            A tray with sandwiches and iced pumpkin juice suddenly appeared on a side table near Lily.  James smiled to himself and moved closer to the food.  One of his Quidditch teammates, while making a post-practice kitchen raid, had undoubtedly asked the house elves to send this up to James. 

            "What do you mean, 'He has the most to prove'?" James asked as poured three goblets of juice.  Lily accepted hers, but Snape eyed James with suspicion and made no move to accept his.  _"Fair enough.  I wouldn't eat or drink anything from him either."_

            "What do you know about him?" Snape asked.

            "Not much.  He's a pretty good beater."  

            Snape made a sound of disgust.  "Don't you ever think about _anything_ except Quidditch?"

            James had a few appropriate retorts, but since all of them would either insult Slytherin or Snape, he simply said, "Food," and selected a sandwich.  "Oh, and I think his dad is my mum's second or third cousin, but she doesn't stay in touch with that branch of the family."

            "Not his father.  His stepfather.  Albert's mother is a Liegeard, a family that takes bloodlines very seriously.  She went through a rebellious period, and Albert is the result.  After a brief taste of living without the family fortune, she became the obedient daughter again.  The Liegeards married her off to Burse Marsh when Albert was quite young.  Marsh is twenty years her senior, but he was willing to give Albert his name and a pseudo-pureblood pedigree.  However, Albert hasn't been able to escape the rumors that his real father was a Muggle." As he spoke, he settled farther back into the armchair.  He almost gave the illusion of being relaxed, but his wary gaze betrayed him.

            "And now he's trying to out pureblood the purebloods," Lily said thoughtfully.

            "Exactly."

            "How do you know all that?" James asked in amazement.

            "How do you not?" he shot back in disdain.  "This is the world we live in, Potter.  This is the world you'll have to deal with when we leave school.  I've noticed your pathetic attempts to play bodyguard to Evans.  How do you expect to protect her if you don't even know whom to protect her from?"

            "So, what do we do about our current situation?" Lily asked, trying to get the conversation back on track. "Can we solve this without getting the teachers involved?" 

            Snape gave James one more disdainful look before focusing on Lily again.   "We need to try.  I, for one, want to see the prefects respected because they are prefects, not because they are tattle-tales who run to the teachers.  And the truth is students only _really_ need to listen to the prefects of their own houses since only they can take points from them.  That they listen to prefects of other houses has always been just a courtesy."

            "I guess that's true," Lily said, "but we can't exactly give prefects hall duty in teams of four.  Only six students have hall duty at any given time, and if they're all together, that's a lot of uncovered ground."

            "But right now, your biggest problem is the Slytherin students, correct?  If Slytherin prefects worked in pairs with the Muggle-born prefects, everyone should get the message that being a prefect supersedes birth.  At least while we're in school."

            "And will the other Slytherin prefects agree?" James asked.

            "Bellatrix won't, of course, but the four younger ones will.  They like being prefects; they won't want the prefect system to fall apart.  And, they each still hope to be Head Boy or Head Girl some day.  Promise them that you'll tell Dumbledore of their assistance, and they'll jump at the opportunity."

            "Of course we'll tell Professor Dumbledore of your help," Lily said.

            Snape smiled coldly.  "Getting ahead of yourself, Evans.  I haven't agreed to help, _yet_."  His gaze flicked back to James.

            "What do you want?" James asked.

            "I want to know that this will go both ways.  You have to be just as willing to enforce the rules against your housemates.  No allowing your friends to get away with murder with a wink and a smile."  His eyes narrowed.  "Or even _attempted murder_.  Can you do that, Potter?"

            "As long as we're talking about _future_ events, yes."

            "Something I should know about?" Lily asked, glancing from one to the other.

            "No," James said quickly.

            "Yes, you _should_ know," Snape said, "but I'm not permitted to say."

            Silence reigned for a few moments as Snape and James stared at each other.  James knew there was nothing he could say without a risk of making the situation worse.

            "O.K., so—" Lily fished for the right thing to say.  "Severus, do you want to speak with the other Slytherin prefects on your own or with us?"

            "Definitely without you," he replied without taking his eyes off James.  He rose and headed for the door.  "I'll speak with them before Saturday, and we'll keep an eye out for possible situations in Hogsmeade.  Include the pairings when you write up the new hall duty schedule.  I'm sure they'll say yes."

            When the door closed behind him, Lily turned to James with a smile.  "And you didn't even have to grovel.  Are you going to be my bodyguard in Hogsmeade this weekend?"

            "Of course we are," James said as he took a second sandwich off the tray.  "What time were you planning on walking down?"

            "About ten, I guess, but I didn't say, 'You-plural.'  I said, 'You-singular.'"

            James almost choked on the mouthful he had just bitten off.  Over two years of being turned down by Lily, and now she was asking him for a date.  He coughed and took a sip of pumpkin juice to wash the food down.  

"Really?  You want to go to Hogsmeade with me?  Rule-breaking, detention-earning, bludgered-brained James Potter?"

            "You left out big-headed," she said still smiling.  "And the last time I checked, we're almost two months into the school year, and you haven't gotten a single detention nor gotten into a single fight with Snape.  So, do you want to go or not?"

* * * * *

"You aren't wearing that," Sirius stated flatly.  He strode over to James's trunk and began pawing through the clothing.

"What's wrong with what I'm wearing?" James asked.  "You helped me pick out this stupid robe, remember?"  He hadn't wanted to wear a school robe for this momentous event, but a daytime date in Hogsmeade was too casual an occasion for dress robes.  He thought that the casual robe he'd chosen was just right.  He'd worn it on his most recent trip to Diagon Alley.

"It's a robe.  If you're going on a date you need Muggle clothes, especially if you're going on a date with Lily.  Wear these."  He pulled out a pair of jeans and a sweater the colour of oatmeal but with flecks of other colours mixed in and tossed them both to James.

"It's _Hogsmeade_," James pointed out as he tossed them back into the trunk.  "Lily will be wearing a robe.  Just because she's Muggle-born doesn't mean—"

"Trust me," Sirius insisted.  "Muggle clothes are better on a first date because she's going to want to check out your ass, and she can't do that if you're in a robe.  If you're in jeans, she can.  Tell him I'm right, Remus."

Remus had been sitting cross-legged on his bed watching and listening to this sartorial argument with amusement, but he now ducked his head and pretended to be deeply interested in the textbook open on his lap.  "Keep me out of this, please."

Sirius turned back to James with an exaggerated sigh.  "Let's put it this way, Jamie-boy.  Whenever Lily is at home, all the cute little Muggle boys show up at Lily's doorstep wearing tight trousers.  Are you going to wear these," he held up the jeans, "and let her know that you are worthy competition, or not?"  

James hesitated only a moment longer before unbuttoning his robe.  "You'd better wear Muggle clothes too, Padfoot.  I don't want to be the only one in Hogsmeade dressed this way."

"I always wear Muggle clothes on the weekend.  I like imagining the look of sour disapproval on my dear mother's face."

"Should I change too?" Peter asked.  "I have a date with Anna today."

Sirius glanced at James with a slight smile of amusement but composed himself into a more earnest look before turning to Peter.  "No, you look better in a robe, Peter.  It makes you look—taller."

Lily did indeed wear a robe.  It was the colour of copper, and James thought she looked astonishing. The entire walk to Hogsmeade, with a few of Lily's friends a discrete distance ahead and with Remus and Sirius a discrete distance behind, James kept looking over at the beautiful girl beside him.  She wore her hair loose and flowing down her back, rather than bound into the no-nonsense plait or ponytail she often wore for classes, and even in the weak sunlight, it glowed as if lit by an inner fire.  Her hair was a darker shade than the robe, but when the light hit it, some strands glowed in the same shade of copper and a few glowed gold.

            "Autumn is your season, you know," he said to her.  "In that robe and with that amazing hair of yours, you look like a goddess of the forest.  Should I gather the brightest leaves from the trees and make you a diadem to crown your hair?"

            "No thank you," she replied with a slight frost in her tone.  She hadn't smiled at him yet that day.  

At first, James had convinced himself that she was nervous about going into Hogsmeade.  It wasn't exactly a secret that Hogwarts students would be in Hogsmeade today, and there was a definite chance that one of the senders of Lily's "fan mail" would be there as well—hence the protective presence of their friends.  But now it was clear that she wasn't just nervous, she was angry.  

"But as long as we're on the subject of clothing," she said, "may I ask why you're wearing what you are wearing?"

James felt warmth creeping into his cheeks as he thought of an honest reply.  "Sirius's idea," he said instead.

"Ah," she replied, and her frown deepened.  She glanced back over her shoulder toward Sirius.  "And just what reason did Sirius give for this _brilliant_ idea?"

James's cheeks were definitely warm now, which he found surprising since it was pretty rare for him to blush at anything, but the thought of saying, _"I wanted you to check out my ass,"_ just didn't seem like something he wanted to say to the girl of his dreams on their long-awaited first date.

"Did you two think that after six years of being part of the magical world, I'm still such a Muggle that I needed you to dress the part to make me more comfortable?  Or did you want to show me that you know how to blend in with Muggles so I can introduce you to my silly Muggle parents without shocking them?  Or did—"

"Whoa!" James exclaimed as he grabbed her by the arm and made her stop in the middle of the path.  He held up one hand toward Remus and Sirius so they would also stop and keep their distance.   "My wearing Muggle clothes had _absolutely_ nothing to do with you being Muggle-born.  And if I tell you the real reason Sirius said that I had to wear this, I'll either have to die of embarrassment or kill him—probably both.  But I swear, it wasn't because I thought it would make you more comfortable, or because I look down on your parents, or anything like that."

"Oh," Lily said quietly before biting her lower lip.  "I owe you an apology, don't I?"

James took her hand and resumed walking.  "Why don't we just go back to the moment in which I was telling you how beautiful you are?"

"I'd rather go back to the moment just after, and I'll tell you that I like that sweater on you.  All those different coloured bits bring out all the different colours in your eyes."  She smiled as she squeezed his hand a bit tighter.

* * * * *

"I don't believe this!" Sirius fumed just after he and his friends left the Transfiguration classroom.

            James shook his head with a smile.  "You didn't actually think that you could transfigure McGonagall's robes like that and _not_ get detention, did you?"

            "I don't mind detention; I'm overdue for detention—now that my partner in crime," he gave James a rueful smile, "has gone legit.  But _Tuesday_ night?" He emphasized the word by whispering it.  "Any other night I wouldn't care, but _Tuesday_ night?" Sirius swore vehemently, making the two first year students who had just stepped out into the corridor in front of him glance back and then quicken their pace toward the stairs.

            All four knew the significance of the day.  Tuesday was the full moon.  If Padfoot couldn't be there to help control Moony, it wouldn't be safe to let the wolf run free.  The presence of Prongs and Wormtail would probably keep the wolf calm.  Probably.  The wolf resented confinement and might become self-destructive even with his two animagi companions.

            James knew that Sirius was concerned for Remus's safety, but he suspected that Sirius's anger also had a more selfish motive.  Although Remus and Sirius's relationship still had some issues to be worked out, Moony and Padfoot were just fine.  Perhaps the full moons had increased in importance to Sirius because they were the only time their friendship was as it had once been.

            "She probably thought she was doing us a favor," Remus pointed out calmly.  "You know, giving you detention on a night that, as far as she knows, we can't be together anyway."

             "Mangy moggy still deserves to be chased up a tree," Sirius grumbled.

            Peter laughed at that image.  "And I know just the dog to do it.  Right, Sirius?"

            "Damn right."

            "At least you'd be doing your own dirty work this time," Remus said quietly.  He suddenly quickened his pace, ducked around some younger students on the stairs, and left his companions behind.

            "Great.  Now Remus is angry at me again."  

Sirius needed a target for his anger and found one in the nearest inanimate object, a suit of armor at the foot of the staircase.  The moment the bolt of light hit it, the various pieces of metal exploded outward.  James ducked as the helm narrowly missed his head and straightened up with a smile.  He gave Sirius credit.  Even while having a temper tantrum—and the boy did have a fierce temper—he had been careful to merely separate the existing pieces of the armor, not blow apart the metal into fragments.  A few students might have been bruised, but no one had been in danger.  

"Watch it," James said with a laugh.  "I'd prefer not to spend our first Quidditch match of the year in the hospital wing with a concussion."  He was just about to repair the suit of armor when someone handed him one of the lower legs.  The smile on his face died at his looked at the "someone," Severus Snape.

"A wink and a smile, Potter.  I knew you wouldn't hold up your end of the deal."  Snape headed toward the open doors of the Great Hall.

"Wait!" James called after him.  Snape turned and watched James with narrowed eyes.  "He's right, Sirius.  No magic in the corridors."

"You wouldn't," Sirius said as he looked from his best friend to his worst enemy and back again.

"I have to," James said with a helpless shrug.  "Ten points from Gryffindor."  He saw Sirius suddenly look over James's shoulder at the giant hourglasses.  His mouth tightened into a line as he saw red sand fly upward.

"He's kidding," Peter said nervously.  "You're kidding.  Right, James?"

"I think I'll skip lunch," Sirius said.  "If that's allowed, of course."  He handed Peter his bookbag and headed outside.  

James had a suspicion that a black dog would soon be running through the forest.  _"Wonder how many points that would be?"_  He threw the leg onto the plinth where the suit of armor should stand.  _"I can't even do a spell to repair the stupid thing with Snape watching."_  Snape remained where he was standing, forcing James and Peter to pass close by him as they entered the Great Hall for lunch.

"Don't cheat and give him the points back," Snape warned.

"Don't need to.  He'll probably earn fifty in class this afternoon.  He _always_ earns more than he loses." 

None of the four spoke to each other throughout their next class, but since it was Defense Against the Dark Arts, the class that they took most seriously, that wasn't a rare occurrence.  James couldn't tell if Sirius was ignoring him because he was angry or because he was deeply engrossed in the defensive wards they were studying.  And he definitely couldn't tell whether or not Remus was angry with Sirius.  Even when class ended, Remus's mood was still a mystery.  Their next class was History of Magic, and as Remus was the only one of the four not taking the class, he generally left alone and headed either for the library or the dormitory. 

"See you later," Remus said in the general direction of the other three as he left.

"Bye," Peter called after him.  

They hadn't gone far before Sirius paused at an intersection that would lead them either to class or elsewhere.  James picked up the hint.  "Take notes for us, won't you, Peter?"

"O.K., but you have to help me with my Defense essay."

"Deal."

Sirius didn't seem to have any definite destination in mind as he and James wandered through the hallways, but when he reached an alcove with a window that overlooked the Whomping Willow, he stopped and looked out.  The window was wide, and James was easily able to lean back against the thick wall bordering the window without impeding Sirius's view.

"Still angry with me?" James asked.  Sirius shook his head.  "Still angry with McGonagall?"  Sirius smiled slightly and shook his head again.

"Nope.  Only one person to blame, and we both know who he is."  He looked at James out of the corner of his eye.

"Snape," they said together and laughed.

"Do you want to go to the kitchen?" James asked.  "You're probably pretty hungry."

Sirius leaned back against the other wall bordering the window.  "No, I ate a squirrel."

"Eww!  Please tell me that you're joking."

Sirius chuckled.  "If you'd like."

James shook his head as if to rid his mind of thoughts of bloody squirrel.  "We'd better go back to the dormitory then.  I know that if I don't spend enough time as Prongs after eating grass, I get one hell of a stomachache."

Sirius shook his head and looked out at the tree again.  "That's because humans aren't ungulates; I'll be fine.  Besides, I'd better give Remus some more cooling off time before I dare go back to the dormitory."  He began to chuckle again.  "McGonagall looked great in red, didn't she?"

"I think the length bothered her more than the colour.  Why the hell did you do it?"

Sirius shrugged and sank down into a crouch on the floor.  "I was bored."

James could understand that.  One of the disadvantages of learning more quickly than your classmates was the stretches of boredom while waiting for them to catch up.  Much of his and Sirius's mischief were offerings on the altar of boredom.  However, they had also learned to use the extra time in class to work ahead and thereby gain more free time to study material that the class wouldn't cover.  They had found time to research the animagus transformation that way and were now studying material they had to learn to become aurors.

"We get bored all the time, Padfoot.  You don't usually take it out on McGonagall."

"She really shouldn't be wearing green though.  We're playing against Slytherin tomorrow.  What is she, a closet Slytherin supporter?"

James snorted at that thought.  "Oh yeah.  And that's why she screams herself hoarse cheering for Gryffindor.  She's just hiding her true allegiance."

"It really was a hideous shade of green," Sirius grumbled as he pushed himself back to his feet and set off down the corridor again.  "Same colour as my parents' dining room."


	5. December

Disclaimer: Professor Dumbledore and his students are the property of J. K. Rowling.  

Choosing the Head Boy Chapter Five—December 

            Lily shoved away the papers on the table in front of her, spilling a bottle of black ink in the process. "Stupid, stupid, stupid," she muttered as she tried to blot up the black puddle with wadded up parchment.  She dropped the soggy parchment in the bin and then scowled in disgust at her blackened fingers.

            "Just wipe them off on your robe," James said with a laugh.  "It's already black."

            "And then I'll get ink on the upholstery of the sofa.  Men," she huffed with a roll of her eyes.

            "Or you could ask a handsome wizard you know to do a cleaning charm on your hands and the table," James said as he twirled his wand between his fingers.

            "Or I could ask _you_ instead," she said with a smile

            James grinned back. He liked her sharp tongue and her willingness to insult him.  It called to mind the teasing familiarity that he and his friends shared, and he much preferred it to the fawning attention some girls gave him because he was a Quidditch player.  Lily's insults had more genuine affection than their compliments.  He also liked Lily's smile, and he hadn't seen enough of it in the last two weeks.  It pleased him when he succeeded in drawing it out.      

            "Scourgify," he said as he flicked his wand at her hands and then repeated the charm for the table.  He gestured to the prefects' hall duty schedule for January and February.  They were trying to get it done early before getting bogged down in end of term work.  "Do you want me to finish this?  You don't seem to have the patience for it tonight."

            "No, it's not this—it's—"  She sighed in frustration.  

            "C'mon," he said as he grabbed her by the hand and pulled her toward the office door.  "This can wait.  You need chocolate.  Have you ever been to the kitchen before?"

            "No, and you shouldn't be there either.  We shouldn't be sneaking around in the kitchen."

            "We won't be sneaking," James said.  "If you'd ever been there before you'd know that we're welcome in there."

Lily found that James was not exaggerating.  The house elves who comprised the kitchen staff were elated to have students in need of pampering within their midst.  A large slice of the chocolate cake that Lily had eyed at dinner, and then virtuously declined, soon found it's way in front of her.  James refused the cake.  He requested a big plate of hot, greasy chips instead.  She watched with amusement as he tried to eat the first ones without burning his fingertips or tongue.

            "You could do a cooling charm, you know."

            He shook his head as he inhaled to cool his tongue.  "Better hot."  He paused in eating only when Lily licked chocolate frosting off the fork.  She tried not to smirk.

            _"James was right; I did need chocolate," _she realized as she began to relax and feel more like herself.

            "So, are you going to tell me what's wrong, or do I need to guess?" he asked.  

            "I guess I was just feeling down because I decided to stay here for Christmas."  

            "You could come to my house for Christmas," James offered immediately.  "My parents are 'the more, the merrier' kind of people.  Sirius could move into my room, and you could—"

            "No thank you," Lily interrupted him with an emphatic tone.  "I wasn't fishing for an invitation.  I've decided to stay _here_."

            James's brow wrinkled as he stared at her intensely for a moment.  "You're _depressed_ about staying here, but you _want_ to stay here.  O.K., let's back up.  Why are you staying here anyway? Will your parents be away or something?"

            Lily found herself spared the necessity of answering when a house elf came over to remove the empty dishes.  "Will Sir or Miss want anything else?"

            "No thanks, Frigg.  The chips were great as usual."  The elf beamed as he took the dishes and hurried away.  "Spill, Evans.  I'm good at guessing, but I'd prefer not to."

             "It wouldn't be safe if I go home—for my family, I mean.  There are people out there who honestly, seriously, want to kill me.  They can't get me here, but they might try when I'm at home.  My parents are _Muggles_; they'd be sitting ducks.  I can't do that to them."  She felt sad but resigned, so she forced a slight smile.  "The only good part of all this it that I won't have to spend Christmas with my sister's fiancé.  _Vernon._  Ugh."  She laughed and smiled again, but her heart wasn't in it. 

            "Sirius stayed here for Christmas a couple of times.  He said the feast was great, and there's always at least a few Gryffindors who stay, so you won't be in the tower alone."  James thought for a moment.  "Your parents are in danger if people know you went home for the holiday, right?"  She nodded.  "So, how about this.  You make sure it's common knowledge that you are staying here, and you do stay here _most_ of the time.  But maybe for part of Christmas Day, or for Christmas Eve, you go home and spend some time with your family.  Or, better yet, Boxing Day!  People will pay attention to whether or not you're here on Christmas, but no one will even notice if you aren't here the next day.  And if you time it right, you can avoid the dreaded _Vernon_."

            "Lovely plan, but I've no way to get home.  I haven't taken my apparition test yet—I was _supposed_ to do that during the Christmas break—and I can't Floo home as my home isn't on the Floo Network."

            "The Knight Bus," James said as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

            "Oh," Lily blinked as she thought about it.  "I could, couldn't I?"

            James looked at his watch.  "C'mon, it's getting late.  We'd better get the papers we left scattered in the Prefects' office and head back to Gryffindor."  

He took her by the hand as they stood to leave, but Lily wasn't quite ready to leave.  She gave his hand a slight pull, and he immediately stepped closer with a smile.  

"Thank you for the invitation and for the wonderful idea," she whispered just before kissing him.

"If I have another wonderful idea, do I get another kiss?"

"Um-hmm," she murmured as she cuddled closer.

"I'll come back early, and maybe we could have a little New Year's Eve Party or something."

            "I'd like that."

* * * * *

Although her arithmancy textbook and notes lay spread on the table before her, Lily knew that she had absolutely no hope of getting any work accomplished.  In the letter she had received yesterday, James had said that he be back at school at eleven o'clock on the thirtieth.  Today was the thirtieth, so Lily was wearing the copper-coloured cashmere sweater that James had sent her for Christmas, and according to her watch, it was almost half past eleven.  He hadn't said how he would be returning to school, so Lily had chosen a seat where she could watch both the common room fireplace and the portrait hole.  She was just starting to worry that he meant eleven p.m. rather than eleven a.m., when the portrait hole opened and the familiar messy black hair came into view.

For just a moment, Lily considered pretending that she was deeply engrossed in her work.  Someone had once told her that it wasn't "ladylike" to appear overanxious for a date.  Then he remembered that the "someone" had been her sister, Petunia.  She abandoned arithmancy and ran to give James a welcoming hug.  James dropped his bag, but his broomstick remained firmly in his other hand as he hugged and kissed her back.

"Don't tell me you flew up here," Lily said as she pressed the palms of her hands against his cold cheeks.

"No, I apparated to Hogsmeade and flew from there.  I like flying over the Forbidden Forest.  It's interesting seeing it from above.  And very nice to see you in that colour again."

"I love it.  Thank you.  But I know how much cashmere costs, and you shouldn't have spent so much."

He shrugged.  "I wanted it to be soft for you.  Thank you for the fountain pen.  I'd never seen one before.  Very cool.  I liked being able to write and write without slowing down to ink it like a quill."

"There are some things Muggles have that are better than what wizards use," she said with a grin.

"I tried some other kind of Muggle pen once before, but it didn't feel right or look right.  Will you come upstairs with me while I put my stuff away?"  He glanced over at the only other occupants of the common room, three younger students playing cards.  "Or do you want to wait here?"

"Go upstairs," one of the younger students said without looking up.  "We won't tell."

"I guess if James Potter can obey the rules, Lily Evans can break one," she said with a smile.  She led the way up to the seventh year boys' dorm.  As she entered the circular room, she tried to guess which bed was James's without looking at the trunks at the feet of the beds.  Unfortunately, after being empty of its usual occupants for a week, there were no telltale clues left strewn around.  _"Overly efficient house elves,"_ Lily thought.

James went to the bed directly opposite the door and put his bag down beside the trunk.  Lily followed and sat on his bed while he put his things away.  "Whose bed is whose?" she asked.

"That's Peter's," James said as he pointed to the bed on his left, "and that's Sirius's," he pointed to his right, "and Remus is on the other side of Sirius.  Lucky me, Peter and Sirius both snore.  Thank God that Remus arrived at school already knowing how to do a silencing charm."

"Wow, we didn't start learning those in class until fourth year."

"Well, Remus used to have some really horrible nightmares—not so much anymore—but he was afraid that he'd wake his dorm mates up.  So, his mum taught him how to put a silencing charm on the curtains of his bed.  Of course," James said with a grin as stretched out on the bed beside her, "once we hit puberty, we all thought that it wonderful that we had learned _that charm_, just in case we ever had an opportunity to put it to good use."

"And have you put it to good use, James?"

"Of course." 

Lily tried not to show her disappointment at that admission, or her disapproval at the flippant way that he had said it.

"Like I said," James continued, "I have three very noisy dorm mates.  Oh, did you think that I meant sex?" he asked in mock surprise.  "I'm surprised at you, Miss Evans.  A gentleman never kisses and tells."  He laughed at the blush on her cheeks.  "You're cute when you blush, you know."  

He slid one hand up her back and began to run his fingers through her long hair.  She reciprocated by leaning down and pulling off his glasses to kiss him again.  The kiss in the common room had been an innocent fit-for-in public kiss.  This one was not.  Tongues sliding over tongues, and hands sliding over clothes, itching to slid inside.

"You have two choices, Red," James said almost breathlessly.  "Do we go back downstairs now, before our young friends start to imagine what we're up to?  Or do we stay up here for a mind-blowing snog as long as they think that's what we're doing anyway?"

"Actually, we have a New Year's Eve party to plan."  And she slid off the bed before he could object.

"All we need is you, me, and champagne," he said as he patted the side of the bed.  "What's your hurry?"  But she was already heading down the stairs, and James dutifully followed a moment later.

"We need to plan a few things," she said over her shoulder as they went down the narrow spiraling stairs.  "I know that when you offered to come back early so we could celebrate New Year's Eve, you meant a party for the two of us, but—do you have any idea how many students stayed here for Christmas this year?  Some are here for the same reason that I am; it wasn't safe for them to go home.  Some of those, their families have actually had to go into hiding.  And some students are here because their families have been _killed_.  It made me feel so guilty that I had felt sorry for myself.  And then I started thinking about how much I was looking forward to New Year's Eve and seeing you, and I—"

"And you wanted to have a New Year's Eve Party for everyone," he finished with a smile.   "It's a great idea, Lily.  So, what do we need to do?"

"Well, the kitchen staff will take care of the food; I've already asked.  And Professor Dumbledore said that he'd put some circular tables in the Great Hall instead of the usual house tables.  We thought that it would look more like a special occasion that way.  All we need to take care of are music, decorations and anything _special_ that you can think of."  As she spoke, she grabbed a blank piece of parchment and a pen from the table where she had been working and then sat down on a loveseat by the fireplace.

James sat beside her.  "_Special?_  You've got me at a disadvantage, Lily.  First you only give me one day's notice to come up with something worthy of the Head Girl's grand soiree, _and _I've got to come up with it without my usual accomplices."

"I have faith in you.  You'll rise to the challenge."  She gave him a quick kiss to back up her words.  "Speaking of your accomplices, where is Sirius today?  Did he feel comfortable staying at your house without you, or did he go to one of your other friends?"

"He's at Remus's for a couple of days.  I think Remus was considering inviting him over anyway, and when I said that it would be a big favor to me if he did, it gave him an excuse.  Of course, Sirius is just over the moon that Remus invited him.  He was _so_ excited this morning.  He woke me up at _six bloody thirty_ this morning—by jumping on my bed—because he couldn't sleep." He left out the detail that Sirius had also licked James's face.  He thought it might sound just a bit odd since he couldn't explain that Sirius had had fur and four feet when he had jumped on the bed.  

He looked down at the parchment on which Lily had just written "Decorations."  "What kind of decorations did you have in mind?"

"I had been thinking of wintry colours—white, silver, pale blue—but you gave me a better idea while we were upstairs."

"You were giving me a better idea upstairs too, but it had nothing to do with the decorations," he said quietly enough that the card players would not overhear.

She smiled and allowed her long hair to fall forward and partially cover her face.  "Later—if you're a good boy and help me with this." 

"I can be a very good boy—_if_ I have the right incentive."  He pulled her hair back over her shoulder and began running his fingers through it again.  "What wonderful idea did I inspire you with?"

"Champagne.  I don't know about wizards, but I know that some Muggles consider champagne an almost essential part of New Year's Eve, and—"

"I didn't bring _that much_ champagne back with me," he interrupted.

"No," she said laughing, "it just made me think of bubbles and champagne colours.  I know the charm that Professor Flitwick used to create all those unbreakable bubbles on some of the Christmas trees, and we could use a variable levitation charm on them to make them float around the room."

"I can picture it; I like it.  And if we made some of them glow, we could skip the usual candles."

"Oh—yes, I like that."

"So, other than drink champagne, what else do Muggles do on New Year's Eve?"

"I can only think of one thing," Lily lied.  She didn't think it wise to mention the tradition of noise making at midnight to James.  "If you kiss the one you love at midnight, it'll ensure that you'll be together throughout the new year."

"You'll definitely have to help me practice that one; I want to do it right tomorrow night."

* * * * *

James's familiarity with the lesser-known parts of the castle proved beneficial.  He brought Lily to the storage room where the various banners and other decorative hangings for the Great Hall were stored.  The silver banners, paired with green for the Leaving Feast last year, and the gold banners, paired with red during the two previous Leaving Feasts, were selected to be paired together.  Professor Dumbledore or Professor Flitwick could easily summon them directly from the storage room to their places in the Great Hall, but since Lily, James, and a handful of helpers would be doing this themselves, they stored them in the small sitting room off the Great Hall until the time came to hang them after dinner.  

He also led Lily to one of the large butler's pantries just off the kitchen.  This one contained not only the school's extensive collection of gold flatware, goblets and plates, but also an equally extensive collection of the same in silver.

"I don't know why they never use this anymore," Lily wondered as she held a silver fork closer to a sconce and examined the design.  "I remember our very first night here, the tables were set with all the gold plates, and one of the older girls mentioned that she'd never seen them before.  They used to use silver for feasts."

"That was when they started using the gold ones?  I didn't know that."  James would have been willing to bet his broomstick—and he loved his broomstick—that he knew exactly why the switch from silver to gold had coincided with his class's arrival at Hogwarts.  Silver burns werewolves.  "Maybe some wealthy Gryffindor alumnus didn't want his children eating off Slytherin silver plates and gave the school some Gryffindor gold ones instead," he joked.

Lily suddenly gave James a very appraising look.  "Oh?  Is that just a random thought, or do you know that's the case?"

"What?"  James realized that he had inadvertently implied that his family had given the gold plates to the school.  "No!  I didn't mean—I was just joking.  But, now that I think about it, our first year was Dumbledore's first full year as Headmaster, right?  And he's a Gryffindor. So maybe the switch from using these plates," he lifted a silver plate, "to these," he lifted a gold one, "did have something to do with lingering house loyalty."

"Perhaps," Lily admitted as she put the fork back where it belonged.

"So which ones do you want to use?"  

"Both.  Gold _and_ silver just like the banners.  We'll use the gold plates, the silver goblets and flatware, and a mix of both for the serving pieces.   Now if only the houses mixed equally as well."

* * * * *

The task of creating hundreds of unbreakable bubbles had fallen upon Lily and her assistants.  Some helped because they were prefects, some helped because they were Gryffindors, and some helped because they were bored and had wandered into the Great Hall looking for something to do.  Most hadn't known the charm necessary to create the bubbles, but all learned it quickly under Lily's tutelage.  Caroline Ernst of Ravenclaw had initially been frustrated that she couldn't make her bubbles consistent in size.  Lily pointed out that soap bubbles varied in size too, and that it was part of their charm.  The levitation charm would not be put on the bubbles until after dinner, so the bubble makers stored their creations in the enormous chests that Professor McGonagall had transfigured from half of each house table.

Lily had been irritated that James was nowhere to be found that morning, but he had dashed into the Great Hall at lunchtime and explained that he had been in the library all morning researching.

"Researching what?" Lily asked warily.

"You did say that you wanted something 'special' for the party, right?  Well, I thought of something last night, but I wasn't quite sure how to pull it off."

"Pull what off?"

James grinned.  "You don't want to know, Lils.  Not only will it spoil the surprise, but you'll lose deniability if it goes badly."

Lily suddenly regretted putting the idea in his head.  "Please don't do it, whatever it is.  I never meant for you to do something against the rules."

"Don't worry; it'll be fine.  But I'm going to be busy all afternoon.  I have to get a few ingredients in Hogsmeade, and then I have a potion to brew—and I'm really telling you too much—but I should be done by dinnertime, so I can help after dinner with the banners and the levitation charms."

* * * * *

A giant clock temporarily on the wall revealed that midnight was less than a minute away.  Music was playing, couples and groups of friends were dancing in the open area fringed by tables, friends were talking and laughing at the circular tables, and a thousand bubbles floated above and around everyone.

"I feel like I'm inside champagne," Lily overheard a girl say.  She smiled to herself and looked up at her dance partner.  James smiled back.

"Champagne," he said.  He had overheard as well.  "You're brilliant you know."

"TEN…NINE…" people began to chant.

"Kiss me," James said suddenly.

"Wait for midnight," Lily said.

"SIX…FIVE…"

"No, now," he urged just before he inclined his head to catch her lips with his own.  Whenever James kissed her, it was wonderful—it was both exciting and safe, both loving and erotic—and Lily _almost _regretted that she resisted this particular pleasure for so long.

"TWO…ONE!"  

They had just parted but were still close enough to breathe only one breath.  Lily felt a minuscule drop of moisture near her eye as if a soap bubble had just popped near her face.  A faint scent of roses wafted through the air, and she knew that she had to kiss James again.  

Wolf whistles and nervous laughter began to fill the room.  Lily pulled away from the kiss in confusion.  The couple that had been dancing beside them was staring at each other in shock.  Nervous laughter and murmuring continued throughout the room.  Lily looked up with a sudden suspicion.

"James, I don't see any pink bubbles."  

Near the end of dinner, James had arrived in the Great Hall pulling a floating bag with at least a hundred pale pink bubbles.  "They represent pink champagne," he had explained.

"Of course not, they all popped at the stroke of midnight."

"What was in them?"

"Air," he said with a grin.

Lily thought for a moment.  "What was the _outside_ of the bubbles made of?"

"Primarily soap, glycerin—and a love potion."

"James!"  Panicking, Lily looked around the room again.  No one seemed to be behaving more amorously than they should be.  "Love potions are illegal!" she hissed.

"Not this one; it's too weak.  The most it can do is give someone a nudge into kissing or hugging someone else, and that only if they like each other anyway.  It's not strong enough to overrule your existing feelings or lack of them.  Besides, no one got more than a whiff of it, so no one even had a strong dose."

"But still—" she continued to look around the room, judging everyone's reaction.  No one seemed to still feel the effects, but many people seemed shocked by their own behavior or the behavior of others.  Even Professor McGonagall had bright red patches on her cheeks and was alternately looking down at her feet and glancing around the room.  "What were you _thinking_?"

"You said that it was traditional to kiss at midnight," he answered as if it had been a logical thing to do.  "I didn't want us to be the only ones having fun."

"Why are so many people looking shocked?" Lily wondered.  "Are you sure it only effected people who like each other anyway?"

"That's what the book said.  However, they didn't have to like each other romantically; platonically will do.  If I had to guess, I'd say a lot of people either saw or experienced their first same-sex kiss tonight.   Consider it my little blow against homophobia.  My one regret, I wasn't watching.  My friends would love to hear who kissed whom.  Uh-oh."  

Professor Dumbledore was striding through the crowd toward them.  Students were drawing back and watching the headmaster nervously.  James gave Lily's hand a quick squeeze and then released it and took a step toward the headmaster.  However, Dumbledore looked past James to Lily.

"Miss Evans, I would like to thank you and all your assistants for providing us with a most enjoyable and memorable evening."

"Thank you, Professor," she said.  When Dumbledore's penetrating gaze shifted to James, she watched nervously.

"And Mr. Potter," Dumbledore regarded the young man waiting unflinchingly, "although I have always approved of the custom of kissing at midnight, I do think that such kisses should be completely voluntary.  Wouldn't you agree?"

"Yes, Professor."

"But as no harm was done, I think one night's detention should be sufficient.  Please meet Mr. Filch in the entrance hall at eight o'clock on the night your other friends return."  James nodded.  "Quite ingenious really, the way you introduced a stabilizing agent into the Friendship Aflame Potion to make the bubbles durable enough to last until midnight.  You should do quite well on your Potions N.E.W.T. later this year."

Author's Note—You don't think Dumbledore would react they way he did to James's little prank?  Please remember that this is the same man who gives Harry the invisibility cloak when he is a first-year AND returns it to him when Harry accidentally leaves it behind in a tower on the night he is caught out after curfew.  

_--August 2003_


	6. January

Disclaimer: Professor Dumbledore and his students are the property of J. K. Rowling.  

Choosing the Head Boy Chapter Six—January 

"Good morning," James said with a smile as he joined Lily on a sofa in the sparsely populated Gryffindor common room.  Her hair was pulled back in a ponytail, and he rather liked the way the few loose tendrils glowed red against the pale skin of her neck.  He cuddled up closer and wondered if the very proper Head Girl would mind if he started kissing her neck in the middle of the common room. 

            "Good afternoon, you mean," she replied with the same slightly frosty tone she had used the last time he had inadvertently angered her.

            "What'd I do?  I just woke up.  I haven't had time to do anything yet."

            "No, not this morning," she said as she snapped her book shut and went up the stairs to the girls' dormitories.  

James knew better than to follow.  Sirius and he had learned that lesson their first term at Hogwarts.  They had carefully collected spiders to put in the girls' beds, only to discover the stairs wouldn't let them go up.  The spiders ended up in the girls' bookbags instead.  It had been _almost_ as good.

            "Women," he muttered as she disappeared from sight.  He looked around the room but saw only much younger students.  Peter hadn't been upstairs, and James didn't know where to begin looking for him.  _"Probably down at lunch, but he might already be done."_  His stomach was achingly hungry, but he didn't relish the idea of eating lunch alone.  _"Time to wake up, Sirius,"_ he thought as he bound up the stairs two at a time.  He had been careful not to wake his sleeping friend earlier, but that was less his concern with how tired Sirius might be after being up all night during the full moon than it was his desire not to have him tagging along while he was with Lily.  _"But if she's not talking to me, you're keeping me company, Padfoot."_

            Sirius had dropped his muddy robe beside his bed and then collapsed into it still wearing the shirt and jeans he had been wearing beneath it for extra warmth.  More mud was in his hair and on his pillow.  _"Stupid dogs,"_ James thought and smiled.  Remus had been just as muddy, but they had taken the precaution of cleaning him up before leaving him in the Shack to be found by Madam Pomfrey.

            "Wake up!" he said loudly as he shoved Sirius's leg out of the way and sat on the end of the bed.  "I want to go eat, and you're coming with me."

            "Five more minutes," Sirius mumbled into the pillow.  

            "If I give you five more minutes, you'll ask for five more, and then you'll need five to go wash the mud out of your hair, and then we'll have missed lunch, and I'll die of hunger."

            "Go eat with Red."  Sirius still hadn't opened his eyes.

            "She isn't speaking to me."

            Sirius opened his eyes at that and turned his head to regard James carefully.  "What did you do?" 

 James shrugged.  

Sirius sighed and then sat up. "Women.  Can't live with 'em, can't kill 'em without getting sent to Azkaban."  He reached up to run his fingers through his hair, but got stopped by the dried clods of mud.  "Five minutes to wash my hair."  

As James waited for Sirius to return from the bathroom, he found himself wishing he still had the snitch he had briefly possessed fifth year.  He had made the mistake of playing with it near the Forbidden Forest during twilight one evening, and it had disappeared into the gloom.  Occasionally, when he was in or near the forest, he caught a glimpse of something gold out of the corner of his eye, but it would always vanish before he could get a good look.  He had just finished rolling socks into three balls so he could practice juggling when Sirius returned.

"After we eat, do you think it'll be too early to stop by the hospital wing?" Sirius asked as he toweled his hair dry.

"We just woke up, so Remus is probably still out of it.  But I doubt Pomfrey will mind if we hang around and wait for him to wake up.  Just bring a book or something quiet to do."

Sirius quickly dressed in some of the Muggle clothing he had happily purchased soon after moving in with the Potters.  He had owned a few such items when living with his parents but had needed to keep them hidden when he was at home.  Now that he was free to dress as he pleased, he was reveling in it.  He wore his school robes during the week, but Muggle clothes every weekend.

"Any idea where Peter is?" James asked as they headed downstairs.

"He had a _study-date_ with Anna," Sirius replied.  "Which means that she lets him copy her homework, and then they snog for awhile in the back of the library."

"Did you ever imagine that _Peter_ would have the most successful love life of the four of us?"

Sirius chuckled.  "Don't go into a martyr act, Prongsy.  Lily's just having a little flare of red-headed temper; you'll be snogging in the prefects' office by nightfall."

"I hope so.  Her hair was in a ponytail this morning, and her neck was just _begging_ to be kissed."

"Oh man, you are _so_ whipped."

After lunch, James went with Sirius to the hospital wing, but Madam Pomfrey said that Remus had already awoken, eaten a small lunch, was now sleeping again, and was _not_ to be disturbed.  Sirius settled into a chair beside Remus's bed with a copy of _Who's There, Really?  A Guide to Magical Disguises_.  James opted to head back to the Gryffindor Common Room, convince Lily to tell him what idiotic thing he had done, and then beg her forgiveness.  _"Whipped is better than lonely any day."_

In the time it had taken James to travel from the hospital wing back to Gryffindor Tower, a winter storm had rolled in and snow was now falling past the windows.  He wasn't surprised to see it; he had sensed the approaching storm last night.  In fact, he had hoped it would arrive sooner.  His canine friends became especially carefree and puppyish when playing in falling or new-fallen snow.  Wormtail, on the other hand, didn't fare as well in cold weather.  With his small body mass and sleek coat, he had difficulty staying warm, so no one had minded that he had spent much of the night curled up in a small ball down in the relatively warm tunnel under the Whomping Willow.  He had been there when they needed him to still the tree, and he would spend the entire night with them when the weather warmed again.

James seemed to have some luck on his side.  Lily had come back downstairs to the common room and was now sitting on a window ledge looking out.   The edges of her hair seemed especially red silhouetted against the whiteness.  James perched on the ledge beside her feet.

"I'll be glad to apologize for whatever I did, but first you'll have to tell me what it is."

"Interesting.  Rather than apologize for what you know that you've done, you wait for me to tell what you need to apologize for.  Don't want to run the risk of apologizing for something I might not know about?"

"No, I really have no idea what I've done, or what you _think_ I've done.  And if I wanted cryptic, I'd go speak with a centaur."  He started to leave.

"Where were you last night?" Lily said sharply.

That stopped him in his tracks.  He was tempted to try to bluff by asking, "What do you mean?" but he noticed that two of Lily's friends were within eavesdropping distance.  This wasn't a conversation he wanted to have here.

"Will you go for a walk with me so we can talk privately?" he asked.

Lily hesitated only for a moment before swinging her legs down and heading for the portrait hole.  As he followed, James thought quickly.  Which excuse would work depended upon several factors.  Did she know that he had been out all night, or did she just think he was out late?  Did she know that his friends had been out too?  What excuse had Remus given for his absence?  That one he could answer—none.  With the full moon falling on a Saturday night, Remus had hoped that no one would notice his absence last night and today.

"'Don't give me hall duty on the seventeenth,' you said.  'I'm not trying to get out of duty on the weekends, Lily.  I'll do any other Saturday, just not that one.'  Whatever it was you did last night, you had it planned way in advance, didn't you?  And here I was stupid enough to think that you'd put the rule breaking behind you, James.  Did New Year's Eve rekindle your interest in troublemaking?" 

            James couldn't honestly say that he hadn't been breaking any rules.  Being an unregistered animagus and setting a transformed werewolf free from confinement certainly qualified as rule breaking, law breaking in fact.

            "I've stopped breaking _most _rules," James said.  "And I have no regrets about the ones I broke last night.  I was helping a friend."

            "Oh, I have no doubt about that," Lily said acidly.  "Let me guess.  You and Remus and Peter were all helping Sirius with whatever his latest scheme was.  

"After Remus didn't show up for dinner, and rest of you disappeared just after, I got curious.  I remember that you had asked for the seventeenth off, so when you all disappeared, I knew something was up.  I waited in the common room until two, but you never came back.  And don't even try to say that you were in your dormitory, because I checked.  Were you even in the castle?  Or did you sneak off to some pub to get completely pissed?

"I thought you had matured, James, but you're letting Sirius pull you back—"

Now she'd gone too far.  Sirius had enough to deal with without shouldering the blame when James got into trouble.  

"First of all," James interrupted her, "the friend I was helping last night was Remus, not Sirius.  Sirius, Peter, and I were helping _Remus_.  And we weren't helping him sneak off to get drunk or whatever other fantasies you spun last night."

"No?" she asked in a disbelieving tone.

"No.  We did pull that one for Remus's seventeenth birthday last year, but we got caught and served our detentions, so you can spare yourself the necessity of righteous indignation."  Lily opened her mouth to speak, but James raised his voice and continued.  

"SECOND of all, don't even _think_ of telling me that Sirius is a bad friend for me.  I'll be the first to agree that he can be impulsive and rash, and I know he's got a fierce temper, but I also know that he's got the biggest and most generous heart of anyone I know.  He'd walk through hell and back if he thought it would help one of his friends.  

"He and I may have inspired each other into some notorious trouble making, but the absolute best thing we've ever done in our lives was his idea too." And it was.  After learning that Remus was a werewolf, all three of his friends had wanted to find some way to help him, but it was Sirius, dwelling on it obsessively, who had had the brainstorm when animagi were briefly mentioned during Transfiguration one day.

"And what was this selfless act which proves that notorious sinner Sirius is really a closet saint?"

"I can't tell you," James admitted.

Lily crossed her arms with an angry huff and walked in silence for a few moments.  "So what was this rule breaking favor for Remus that you don't regret?"

"I can't tell you that either."  Even before he spoke, he knew that those words would mean the end of their budding romance, but there was nothing else he could say.  He found that he couldn't lie to Lily, nor could he betray Remus by telling the truth.

"Fine," she bit out angrily.  "When you're ready to stop keeping secrets, let me know."  She turned on her heel and headed back the way they had come.

Feeling effectively banished from his own common room, James headed instead for the hospital wing.  As he drew near his friends, he saw that they had only slightly changed position since he had left them.  Sirius now had his shoes off and his feet propped up on Remus's bed, and Remus, turned toward Sirius, had one arm slung across Sirius's ankles just as a child might loosely hold a stuffed animal while asleep.  Remus's eyes were still closed, and if Sirius weren't reading aloud, James would have believed that Remus was still asleep. 

"A common mistake when using Polyjuice Potion is a failure to anticipate that one will gain all the physical characteristics of the subject one is impersonating.  For example, if the subject—"  When James sprawled in a neighboring chair with a sigh, Sirius closed the book but kept his finger inside to keep his place.  Remus opened his eyes.  "Did Red tell you what you did?" Sirius asked.  James nodded.  "So, what _did_ you do?"

"Don't ask," James grumbled.  He'd tell Sirius later, but he'd prefer that Remus didn't know.  Although none of it was his fault, Remus would undoubtedly feel responsible.

Sirius reopened the book.  "For example, if the subject requires prescription lenses to see correctly, the impersonator will require them as well."

"Girls are so self-righteous!" James burst out.  "Maybe life would be easier if I were gay."

Remus began to laugh and then cough.  "Easier?  Please don't make me laugh," he begged.  "My ribs hurt too much."

After Peter stopped by to check on Remus, the three friends decided to leave together and allow Remus to rest.  They found the Gryffindor common room mercifully free of seventh-year girls, but did not linger.  The afternoon was spent in their dormitory helping Peter with his homework, studying Advanced Defense, and falling asleep on their books.  Sirius didn't question James any further about his fight with Lily; he was probably waiting for an opportunity when the two were alone.

Remus rejoined them at dinnertime.  He entered the Great Hall, not from the main doors, but from the small sitting room in which James and Lily had stored the banners for the New Year's party.  Pomfrey had undoubtedly allowed chosen to spare him the long walk and allowed him to floo from the infirmary to the fireplace nearest the Great Hall.  Enough students were still arriving and milling about the room that Remus's unusual point of entry seemed to go unnoticed by all but his friends.  As Remus sat down beside Peter, James glanced down the long table to Lily and the other seventh-year girls.  They were speaking quietly among themselves and occasionally throwing a dirty look in his direction.

"Feeling better?" Peter asked Remus.

"Yeah, thanks.  But I won't be feeling better for long if I don't figure out my Potions homework.  I still can't determine which catalyst is best with which primary ingredients.  Do you have some time to help me, Sirius?"

Sirius was in the midst of putting the two rarest slices of roast beef on Remus's plate before serving himself.  He nearly knocked over the gravy with his elbow as he looked up at Remus in surprise.  

"Sure," Sirius said.  "I'm all yours."

James smiled to himself as he listened.  To the casual observer, a request for homework help might not seem like much.  However, this was the first time all year that Remus had asked for Sirius's help.  Last year, _after_, he hadn't been willing to accept Sirius' help at all, and this year, he had begun to accept it, but he hadn't been willing to ask.

James found himself looking down the table again.  Lily looked away just as he looked at her.  She said something to the other girls, and Maisie stood up and headed toward James and his friends.

"May I have the pitcher of milk?" she asked, and Peter handed it to her.  "By the way, Remus, you look like shit.  Rough night?"  

As she strode away, Remus closed his eyes and looked like he wanted to sink into the floor.  His already pale complexion had paled further to an almost ghostly white.

"Bitch," Sirius muttered angrily.

"I should have stayed in the hospital wing for dinner and then gone straight to our room," Remus murmured in the direction of his lap.

            "Don't worry about it, Moony," James assured him.  "They probably just think you have a hangover."

* * * * *

            Three days passed without McGonagall or Dumbledore summoning James, Sirius, and Peter to their offices to answer for their all-night absence on Saturday.  Lily had obviously decided that breaking up with James was sufficient punishment and had not told.  

            Remus had recovered from the moon.  His colour was back to normal, he was able to get out of bed without wincing with almost-hidden pain, and he had caught up on all the homework he should have done on the weekend.  He was even able to face porridge for breakfast again.

They were just finishing breakfast when James saw an unusual sight.  Sirius' brother, Regulus, was approaching the Gryffindor table.  

"Padfoot."  James nodded in Regulus's direction, and Sirius turned to look.  Regulus headed directly for them.  His pale eyes flickered over each of his older brother's friends before resting on Sirius.  

"Alphard died.  I thought you might want to know," Regulus said bluntly. 

Sirius inhaled sharply.  "How?  What happened?"

Regulus shrugged.  "Mother's letter just said that he was dead."  James realized that Regulus was still holding the letter.  Sirius looked at the letter in his brother's hand as well.

"May I read it?" Sirius asked.

Regulus glanced down at the parchment, considering.  "Alright."  He handed the letter to Sirius and began to walk away.

"Thank you," Sirius called after him.

Students were now beginning to leave in a steady stream.  Sirius stared at the folded parchment and did not move.    
            "Padfoot?  Are you alright?" Remus asked as he put a hand on Sirius's arm.  Sirius suddenly seemed to return from wherever his thoughts had taken him.

"Yeah, yeah, I'll be O.K.  I—um—I'd like to read this alone.  Why don't you go to class?  I'll be along in a minute."

"You're sure?" James asked.  Sirius nodded.

As they walked down the hall, Peter asked, "Who's Alphard?"

"His uncle," James said.

"Then why is he so upset?  I thought he hated his family."

"Not Alphard.  He called him, 'The white sheep of the Black family.'  They wrote to each other all summer.  Sirius and I even learned how to use the Muggle post to do it.  Alphard lives—lived—in Hong Kong, and that's a bit far for my owl.  After Sirius left home, Alphard invited Sirius to come live with him, but he was already living with my family and he wanted to stay in England."

As the seventh-year Advanced Transfiguration students readied their materials to take notes, McGonagall looked impatiently at the watch pinned above her heart.  

"Potter, does Black intend to join us today, or has he opted to sleep in?" 

"He learned of a death in his family this morning.  He said that he'd be along, but I'm not sure."

"Oh, I didn't know," McGonagall sounded momentarily flustered.  "I'm usually notified when—May I ask who it was?"

"His uncle, Alphard Black."

A look of sadness momentarily softened the professor's stern expression.  She looked over toward the desks where the Slytherin members of the class clustered.  

"My condolences, Miss Black," she said to Bellatrix. 

Bellatrix stared back disdainfully.  "Not necessary, Professor.  He stopped being a part of our family years ago."

Only Peter was free the next period, but all three headed back to Gryffindor Tower to find Sirius.  They found him in the dormitory, gazing out of the window between his own bed and Remus's.  The letter lay on his bed.  As James and Peter sat on the beds nearest Sirius, Remus joined him at the window and put a comforting hand on his shoulder.  Sirius reached up with his own hand and placed it over Remus's before turning to sit beside James.  They sat in silence for a moment, James and Remus each with an arm around their mourning friend.  It was Peter who spoke first.

"I'm really sorry, Sirius."  

Sirius nodded.  "Thanks, Peter."

"What did the letter say?" James asked.

"Nothing.  The letter is over a foot long and she didn't even mention Alphard's death until the second to last paragraph.  And that's it, just a mention.  'Your father received word from Hong Kong that Alphard's dead.  He had some sort of accident.'  At least it doesn't sound like my parents had anything to do with his death.  That's why I wanted to read it.  I wanted to know if they killed him."

Peter seemed shocked.  "They wouldn't do that.  I know you don't like your family, but—"

Sirius laughed mirthlessly.  "You don't think so?  Alphard's opinion of our family wasn't as high as yours.  They banished him from the family when he married a Muggle, Tess.  I used to sneak over to their house when I couldn't stand my own any more.  Tess taught me how to ride a bicycle.  Did any of you ever ride a bicycle?"  They all shook their heads.

"When she became pregnant, they kept it a secret from our family as long as possible.  It wasn't that difficult.  They didn't exactly move in the same social circles.  I remember when they found out.  My mother and my Aunt Io told my father and his brother that it would be 'a disgrace' to allow a half-blood child to bear the Black family name.  I remember, 'If you two aren't men enough to do something, we will.'  Tess died less than a week later.  That's when Alphard moved to Hong Kong.  He never married again."

Author's Note: Curious about what happened when Remus's friends decided to get him drunk for his birthday?  Let's just say that they learned a valuable lesson about mixing werewolves and alcohol.  Read my story "Painting the Town Red" for more details.


	7. February Eleventh and Fourteenth

_Disclaimer: Professor Dumbledore and his students are the property of J. K. Rowling.  _

Choosing the Head Boy Chapter Seven—February Eleventh and Fourteenth 

With Valentine's Day falling on a Hogsmeade Saturday, Professor Dumbledore had taken the unusual step of announcing that students seventeen or older would be permitted to stay in Hogsmeade beyond the usual six o'clock deadline.  They merely had to be back in their common rooms by their usual curfew.

"The teachers probably prefer shipping the young lovers off to Hogsmeade rather than trip over them all over the castle," Remus surmised.

Needless to say, having a date for Valentine's Day, even among those under seventeen, had risen to a new level of importance.  Sirius had lost count of the number of girls who asked him for a date.

"I think I'm going to hide in our dormitory until the fifteenth," he grumbled after being ambushed by a Hufflepuff girl while leaving History of Magic.  "Whatever happened to the girls waiting for the boys to ask them out?  Elinor hasn't gotten the nerve up to ask Remus yet, but he's avoiding her as a preventative measure anyway."

The only semi-bright spot in the whole thing was that James and Lily had been wise enough to leave Valentine's Day as "To be scheduled" on the hall duty schedule when they compiled it in December.  They had planned to wait until just a few days before the holiday and then fill it with the names of volunteers.  

"Whoever is unlucky enough to be without a date will be glad to volunteer," James had said as Lily and he cuddled on a loveseat and drew up the schedule.  "It'll give them something to do instead."  At that time, he hadn't imagined that it would be he volunteering.  Yet with almost a month having gone by since their fight, and with no sign of a thaw in Lily's feelings toward him, that was exactly what James planned to do when he attended the bimonthly prefects' meeting.  

Lily, sitting alone in an armchair, was running the meeting solo.  James and Remus had arrived, not late, but barely on time.  They had left the common room early  but taken a circuitous route to avoid running into Elinor Bagshot along the way.  

"Just tell her you aren't interested, Moony," James had teased.

"I know I should, but she's a nice kid.  If she gets up the nerve to ask and I turn her down, it'll embarrass her.  If she never asks, everyone's feelings are spared."

"As you all know, Valentine's Day is Saturday," Lily said. "Rather than ask who wants the night off, we've decided to ask for volunteers for hall duty.  If you don't have other plans, or your only plans are for earlier in the day, please volunteer for hall duty that night.   So…anyone?"

James raised his hand and did a quick count of the other raised hands.  Counting his, four hands were up initially.  Elinor saw that Remus's hand was not raised; she raised hers.

"That's enough," Lily said as she jotted down the names.  "Thank you everyone."

After a brief discussion about what was expected on Saturday, including the idea that some discretion and holiday leniency could be exercised in regard to the curfew—if students were escorting their dates back to their common rooms or on their way back to their own, let them be, if they were still "enjoying each other's company," remind them that it was past curfew—the meeting broke up.  James stood up but lingered behind as the prefects left.  Although she hadn't said anything, he expected that Lily and he would work on the next hall duty schedule after the meeting.  

"Interesting meeting, Evans," Snape said just before he left.  "Did you forget to script something for the Quidditch player so he can pretend that he knows what he's doing?  I guess now that he's done shagging you, you have no reason to try to make him look semi-competent."

James would not let that go unanswered.  "Have a good time on Saturday, Snapey.  If you've managed to conjure up a date, why don't you take her for a nice moonlit stroll.  Should be a nice night for it; the moon will be almost full."  Snape flinched almost imperceptibly, and James pressed the point.  "Better yet, take a stroll on Sunday night.  I won't interfere."

James thought that Snape's answering glare couldn't possibly be more venomous—until he saw the look that Snape bestowed on Remus.  As Snape passed Remus and swept out of the room, he muttered a stream of invectives under his breath.  James couldn't hear what Snape said to Remus, but he could imagine.  Remus listened to Snape's words with lowered eyes and a slightly bowed head.  James felt only momentary satisfaction at landing that verbal blow on the Slytherin.  Remus was tough.  He usually faced insults with a placid "Is that the best you can do?" half-smile.  But against this, against whatever it was that Snape had said to him, Remus was defenseless.  He was vulnerable because he believed it to be true.  And James was the one who goaded Snape into saying it.

"I'm sorry, Re—I shouldn't—" but Remus left without looking at him.  "Idiot.  I'm an idiot."

"Don't expect me to disagree," Lily said archly.  "May I ask what that was all about, or do you still possess the sole right to be cryptic and keep secrets?"  As she spoke, she filled in Valentine's Day on the posted schedule with her own name and with the names of the five students who raised their hands.  "Surprised you don't have a date, Potter.  Have you run out of girls who will put up with you?"

"You hate me.  Got it.  Couldn't be clearer.  Now, could we work on the schedule?"

Sirius and Peter were doing homework in the common room when James returned.  James slid into the seat beside Sirius and dropped his forehead onto his folded arms on the tabletop. 

"Padfoot, old friend, you are no longer the sole Gryffindor member of the 'I spoke without thinking and now I'm lower than troll droppings' Club.  Snivellus really is an irritating git, isn't he?"

"I've always thought so.  What happened?"

"He insulted Lily and me, I insulted him, then he took it out on Moony.  I'd better go upstairs and apologize."  James started to stand, but Sirius grabbed his arm.

"Moony's not here.  How long ago was this?"

"Over an hour ago—damn.  I've got to look for him."

"Me too," Peter said as he rose to follow James.  Sirius was already on his feet and heading for the portrait hole.  James found himself wishing, not for the first time, that Filch had not confiscated and probably destroyed their map of the school.

"Who's going to look where?" Peter asked just outside the Fat Lady.

"I'll look outside and check the shack," Sirius called over his shoulder as he ran toward the stairs.

"You check the fourth floor and below, Wormtail, and I'll check above," James directed.  "And no, you don't have to go near the dungeons.  Moony's too smart to head there."

As James ran off, he realized that he should have offered his invisibility cloak to Peter.  It was almost curfew, and Filch wasn't likely to be lenient if he caught Peter roaming the corridors.  James wasn't worried for himself.  One of the perks of being Head Boy or a prefect was that one could always pretend to have hall duty.

After quickly checking the owlery, an impulse led James to return by way of the corridor with the alcove overlooking the Whomping Willow.  He found Remus standing there with his hands behind his back as he gazed out at the darkness.  James's sense of unease increased at the sight of Remus contemplating what was, in effect, his gaoler. 

"Have you been here the whole time?" James asked.

"No, I went for a walk.  Nowhere in particular.  I almost went outside, but it's a bit too cold tonight to be out without a cloak."

"Sirius is outside looking for you."

"Hmm."  Remus still hadn't turned around.

"I'm really sorry that I goaded Snape.  I wasn't thinking."

Remus made a sound of disbelief.  "Of course you were thinking, James.  It was quite well done too.  Everyone's instinctive primal fear, being eaten alive, and in Snape's case it almost came true.  Of course he'd be especially vulnerable to being reminded of that night, and you exploited his weakness well.  And the coup de grace, you reminded him that you were the one who saved his life.  He's enough of a prick that I bet he finds that especially galling.  All in all, masterfully done.  Quite clever.  You've told us before that the Sorting Hat considered Ravenclaw for you.  I can see why."

It was clear that Remus did not and would not accept James's apology.  But Remus wasn't staring at the Willow because he was angry with James.  James decided to attack the most probable reason for Remus to contemplate that particular view.

"I don't know what Snape said to you, Moony, but I saw that it hurt.  Whatever it was, it was shit.  Don't believe him; don't let him hurt you."

Remus finally turned to regard James.  His eyes were cold, and James thought it strange that eyes such a warm color could be so cold.

"I don't care what Snape said," Remus stated calmly.  "I know that he sees me as a monster.  How could he see me any other way?  But now I know that you do too."

"No!  I swear I don't!  I just wanted to remind him of how frightened he was that night."

"Of how frightened he was of _me_.  You know, I never forget the wolf.  All month long, I feel him there, waiting for the moon to give him dominance over me.  But I thought the three of you forgot sometimes.  'That's our friend Remus—and oh yeah, sometimes he turns into a bloodthirsty beast.'  But you don't forget, do you?  In fact, you find it rather— _convenient_.  Snape pushed Sirius too far, and Sirius decided to feed him to his friend the werewolf.  Snape pushed you too far, and you decided to _remind him_ of almost being eaten by your friend the werewolf.  Different degree; same idea.  And then there are the full moons.  Running around the Forbidden Forest with a dark creature—it's a hell of a way to prove that you're brave enough to be true Gryffindors, isn't it?  It is convenient to have a werewolf for a pet.  I'm not complaining.  I'm grateful.  I really am.  I just needed to put it in perspective that's all."

James felt even lower than he had when Lily had broken up with him.  At least in that fight, he had believed himself in the right.  But now—

"Do you remember when we were first-years and I told you that my philosophy of life was 'Always expect the worst, and you'll never be disappointed?'  My problem is that I forgot that rule.  The three of you _made me_ forget that rule.  Last year, Sirius did me the favor of reminding me.  

"That's why I'm not angry with you.  I've forgiven Sirius.  I've forgiven you.  And when it's Peter's turn to disappoint me, I'll undoubtedly forgive him too.  You're all human; I'll never again make the mistake of expecting you to be more."

Remus started walking back toward Gryffindor, and James walked beside him in silence.  Ever since Sirius's mistake last year, Remus had worn an air of wariness, of mistrust, like a protective cloak.  James had expected the wariness to fade away in time, perhaps whenever Remus was ready to forgive Sirius.  Now he feared that Remus would never shed his wariness.  He would forgive his friends, but he would never trust them again.

"I don't want to leave the Shack Sunday night," Remus said suddenly.  "I just have a bad feeling about this time."  The implication was clear; Remus didn't trust them to keep the wolf out of trouble.

"Alright," James agreed.  "We'll stay in."

* * * * *

After coming across two amorous couples in just the first half hour of hall duty, James realized that hall duty on Valentine's Day was not a good way to take one's mind off romantic troubles.  He was very tempted to skive off for a while, but he didn't have a good place to go.  Sirius had assured him that if he even thought about returning to their dormitory early, he would experience every hex that Sirius had ever learned at his dear mother's knee.  And although he had been envious of the couples enjoying the spirit of the holiday, he knew that he'd derive no joy in sending them on their way when the curfew rolled around in another half hour.

_"Actually, it might be fun to interrupt a Slytherin couple.  I wonder where snakes go to snog?"  _He headed down a spiral staircase with the intention of slowly making his way to the dungeons.  Lily was headed up the stairs.

"Oh—hi."

"Hi."

James tried to peer down the stairs behind her.  "You aren't alone, are you?  I thought you usually did hall duty with one of the Slytherins."

"Belinda Nott is the only Slytherin who volunteered tonight, so I paired her up with Tony Huang.  Excuse me."  Lily tried to move past James, but he shifted slightly to his left to block her.

"But it's not _safe_ for you to be in corridors alone."

"I stopped worrying about that a month ago.  If anyone in school were going to do anything to me, they would have tried by now.  Will you let me pass, please?"  James pressed back against the wall, allowed Lily to pass, and then began to climb the stairs behind her.  "Where do you think you're going, Potter?  I _don't_ need a bodyguard, and if I did, I wouldn't want it to be you."

"You'll just have to put up with me.  You may hate me, but I'm still mad about you, and I'm not letting you wander about alone."

"Fine."  Lily paused at the top of the stairs for a moment so James could fall into step beside her.  She glanced sideways at him as they walked.  "Not quite the way we thought we'd spend Valentine's Day, is it, James?"

"I'm really, really, _really_ sorry that I can't tell you where I was that night."

"So am I," she said sadly.

"All students, please return to your common rooms immediately and remain there until further notice," announced the magically amplified voice of Professor Dumbledore.  "Would all teachers please meet me in the Entrance Hall."

Only once before had a similar announcement been made, and that was when a student had reported seeing a troll loose in the school.  The troll had turned out to merely be a boggart.

"What do you suppose is wrong?" Lily wondered.

"I don't know, but I do know a concealed balcony that overlooks the Entrance Hall."

"We can't!  We have to go to the common room."

"We will.  This is just a brief detour, that's all.  C'mon, Lily.  Do you want to know what's really going on, or do you want to hear the edited version they'll tell the children?"  He walked backward and pulled her hand as he spoke.  Lily resisted for a moment, and then went with him.  

"I think Dumbledore wanted me to be a good influence on you, but you've turned into a bad influence on me."

"Yeah, Remus said something similar after he became a prefect."

The entrance to the balcony was a trapdoor in the floor of the storage room for the Great Hall's banners.  The balcony itself was more of a high-sided catwalk, overlooking the Great Hall on one side and the Entrance Hall on the other.  James unlatched the trapdoor with a flick of his wand and then transfigured the door itself into a ladder.  He pressed a finger to his lips before going down the ladder, but it was unnecessary.  Lily gave him a look that he loosely translated as, "Of course I'll be quiet.  Do you think I'm stupid?"  Dumbledore was in the middle of explaining the situation to the teachers while James and Lily crawled to the balcony wall and listened.                                                  

"–and managed to hide.  However, she doesn't think that Sebastian Bones managed to get away.  At the first house she reached, she made a Floo call to the Ministry, and aurors are in Hogsmeade now.  All Hogwarts students in town are being gathered at one location and guarded.  Our two concerns right now are to make sure that the school is secure, and to find out exactly which students need to be accounted for."

"Do you think the Death Eaters may have attacked other students in town as well?" McGonagall asked.  James suddenly felt very cold.  Peter and his girlfriend, Anna, were in Hogsmeade.

"They may have.  The attack on Miss Stewart and Mr. Bones may have been isolated incident, or it may have been part of a larger coordinated attack.  We'll only know when we learn if any students are missing.  The aurors will soon send me a list of all the Hogwarts students in their protection.  I want the heads of houses to go to the common rooms now and find out exactly which students are not present.  Assure the students that no one will be in trouble for not being present, so no one should try to cover for their friends, but we must know who they are.  Next, I want the—"

James and Lily did not linger to hear the rest of the instructions.  They needed to get to Gryffindor before Professor McGonagall arrived.  

"What's going on?" a student asked as they entered the common room.  James instinctively glanced around the room for his three friends—hoping to see Peter—but none of them were there.

"Hang on," James replied as he strode quickly to the boys' staircase.  "We'll explain when everyone's here."  As he ran up the spiral staircase, he pounded on each of the seven bedroom doors and the bathroom door and called out, "Downstairs!  It's important!"  As he came back down the stairs, Sirius was waiting for him in the doorway of their room.

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked as he pulled on a shirt and followed James down the stairs.

"Did Peter come back early?"

"Enuresis Hex, Blistering Skin Hex, Oozing Orifices Hex—" Sirius counted off the threats which would have kept Peter away.

James reached the bottom of the stairs before Lily came back down the girls' staircase.  He found every pair of eyes in the room fixed on him.  Remus was near the base of the stairs, but he still didn't see Peter.  For an instant, James wondered how much he should admit to knowing, but he knew that every person in the room wanted to hear the "unedited" story as much as Lily and he had.

"I know that two students, Meg Stewart and Sebastian Bones were attacked by Death Eaters in Hogsmeade."  A few students swore or gasped in surprise.  "Meg got away and got help, but we don't know about Sebastian yet.  Aurors are guarding the other students in Hogsmeade, but they want to make sure they have everyone.  Who's not here?"

"Vivian Tierney and Owen Jones are in Hogsmeade," a girl said.  Although they were sixth-years, James knew them both very well.  Vivian was Gryffindor's keeper and Owen had taken Sirius's place as a beater when Dumbledore removed him from the team last year.

"Darius Murphy isn't here," a fifth-year boy said.

"But he's not old enough to be in Hogsmeade tonight," Elinor pointed out.

"Is he in Hogsmeade?" James asked the room at large.  "Does anyone know?"

"He's not in trouble if he is," Lily added.  "We just have to know."

"He had a date with that Ravenclaw prefect, Caroline," one of Darius's friends said, "and I don't think they'd leave the castle."

Just then, the portrait hole swung open, and Professor McGonagall entered followed a moment later by Darius.  Half of the students in the room swept toward him in a rush of relieved voices.

"Where were you?'

"We thought the Death Eaters got you!"

"Were you in Hogsmeade when it happened?"

James looked toward Sirius and Remus on his left.  They looked as tense as he felt.  He looked to the right at Lily and Eurydice.  They looked just as tense—and very alone.  He searched the room with his eyes.  None of the other three seventh-year girls were in sight.  He went over to put an arm around Lily, and she leaned back against him gratefully.

"They're O.K.; they're with the aurors," he said quietly.  She nodded.

"It seems that the news has preceded me here," McGonagall noted, and the babble of voices died away.  "I need to know who is not present."  

As James listed the six names, he saw McGonagall's expression become ever more grim.  "When you receive the list of who is safe in Hogsmeade, will you let us know, Professor?" he asked.

"From _all_ the houses," one of the younger students added.  Many students had siblings in other houses.

"Of course," McGonagall said.  "In the meantime, Potter, Evans, and the sixth and seventh-year prefects have hall duty.  Please stay in pairs, and if you see _anything_ unusual, please send word to the Headmaster or the teachers via a ghost or a portrait."  She looked at James and Lily standing together and then at Remus.  "I believe that Hufflepuff has an odd number of prefects tonight, so one of you should work with one of them.  The remainder of you are to remain here, _no exceptions_."  She stared directly at Sirius as she said those words.  James glanced over at him out of the corner of his eye.  The scowl on Sirius's face was not unexpected.  "And as of this moment, you have a new password, 'Safe return.'"

"I'm not staying in here, useless, if it's dangerous out there," Sirius complained as he and Remus met Lily and James near the portrait hole.

"First of all, it isn't dangerous in the school," Remus pointed out, "and second of all, if I'm wrong about that, they need you here.  You and Dice are the only seventh-years here, and Defense isn't exactly her strong suit."

Sirius frowned but nodded.  "O.K., I'll stay.  Just take good care of each other."

            "We'll see you later, Dogbreath," James said as he followed Lily out.

            "I'll head down toward the Hufflepuff common room," Remus offered just outside the Fat Lady, "and I'll take the scenic route through the third and fourth floor corridors.  Why don't you check near the library, James?"  James understood what Remus really meant.  Remus was going to check the three secret passages to Hogsmeade that had entrances in those corridors, and he wanted James to check the one with an entrance behind a tapestry not far from the library.  

James nodded.  "See you later, Remus."  As he set off toward the library with Lily, James wondered if he could risk letting Lily in on such an important secret as one of their four remaining tunnels to Hogsmeade, or if he should make up an excuse to go off on his own for a few minutes_.  "But it'll take more than just a few minutes to really check it out thoroughly,"_ he thought.  

"You and your friends have a secret way to get into Hogsmeade, don't you?" Lily suddenly asked.  It seemed that she was about to make the decision for him.

"What makes you think that?"

"For one thing, every time you win a Quidditch match and throw a victory party in the common room, you and your friends start handing out sweets from Honeydukes and bottles of butterbeer from the Three Broomsticks."

"Excellent deduction, Mr. Holmes.  The truth is, we're on the way there now, but I'd appreciate it if you didn't tell anyone about it."

"You're really impossible sometimes, James.  Death Eaters are in _Hogsmeade_.  This secret passage, or whatever it is, connects the school and _Hogsmeade_.  And if you found this passage, don't you think it's _possible_ that one or more of the Death Eaters found it when they were students here?  We have to tell the teachers about it."

James had to admit to himself—very reluctantly—that she had a point.  He stopped in front of a tapestry.  "Look, we're right here.  Let's just see if anyone's used it lately, and we can discuss whether or not to tell the teachers about it later."

Lily bit her lip as she looked at the tapestry.  "I'm not—it could really be dangerous."

            "We've been practicing setting up wards in here.  I won't have to go very far in to know if anyone has been through.  You just wait here, and I'll be back in—twenty minutes."

            "No," she said emphatically.  "I'm not letting you go alone.  How do we get in?"  She pulled the tapestry aside, peeked behind it, and began feeling for an invisible door.  Although James could see the door clearly, he knew that all she could see was the stone wall.

            James pulled the tapestry back into place.  "Close your eyes and imagine a door just like the ones into our dorm rooms.  The door you see in your mind is behind the tapestry.  If you know it's there, it'll be there.  Open your eyes and look behind the tapestry again."  Lily's smile when she peeked behind the curtain indicated that she had managed to see the door on the first try.  "Maybe I should go first," James said before she could open the door.  "Since I know which wards we put up and where they are."

            Just a few yards into the tunnel, James felt a slight tension in the air.  It was faint enough that he might have overlooked it and walked through had he not been expecting it.  He extended his wand tip forward into the tension and whispered, "Reveal."  A shimmering curtain of pale blue appeared.  The center of the transparent curtain was a pale aqua shape like a man with two heads or like the shadow of two men walking side by side.

            "A Disturbance Charm, isn't it?" Lily whispered.  "I've read about it, but I've never seen one.  Two people have been through this one."

            "But not recently.  A recent disturbance would be red, then it fades to orange, yellow, etc.  This is almost blue again; it's about a week old.  Sirius went to Hogsmeade last week.  I think this is Sirius coming and going.  See, both heads are the exact same height."  James traced his wand tip along the outer edges of the shimmering curtain, severing its connection to the wall, and causing it to shrivel in upon itself and disappear.  "We'll set a new one on our way back."

            James also deactivated the next spell in the tunnel, one of Sirius's design that would give a bad case of hives to whoever was unlucky enough to pass through.  He had known where to look for it only because of a large paw print of dried mud on the wall.

            The next ward in the tunnel was one they had studied in class, so James encouraged Lily to lead the way.  "Think of it as practice for the N.E.W.T.'s.  Find the protective charm and neutralize it."  Lily walked forward cautiously, extending both her wand and her free hand with fingers spread as if she were feeling her way through a dark room.  Her eyes swept the floor, walls, and ceiling before her.  She stopped and cocked her head as she looked at a dark stain from a liquid dripped down one wall, and then she looked at a similar stain on the opposite wall.  

            "Those stains are from a potion or something," she said.  "But it would need to be—"  She used her wand to direct a gust of air at the dust and sand of the floor, revealing that the stain continued all the way across.  "And to neutralize it—you have to ingest a small amount of orris root, which is also the main ingredient in the potion.  You don't have any orris root with you, do you?"

            "No."

            Lily thought for a moment.  She smiled, licked her finger, wiped the stain with it, and put her purple-tinged finger into her mouth to suck it clean.  "Enough?"

            "Go ahead."  Lily walked across the line with ease while James copied her actions.  He then used his wand to blow the dust back over the line to hide it again.  "You won't be able to get through the next one," he said as they set off again.  Lily was still leading the way, using every sense to find the next ward.

            "Is that a challenge, Potter?"

            "No, just stating a fact."  He saw another paw print on wall.  "In fact, you might not want to go any further."  Lily stepped backward, shivering with a sudden chill.

            "Oh my God, that's cold!  What is it?"

            "Something Remus read about and has been trying to fine tune.  It lets the four of us through, but no one else."  

James walked beyond the point where Lily had halted, but something felt wrong.  He knew that the primary ward did not have a physical effect on him, but Remus had also incorporated a Disturbance Charm into the same place.  He should have felt an even tension all over his skin, but instead he had felt the sensation of torn cobwebs.  "Reveal," he said as he touched the Disturbance Charm with his wand.  The shimmering curtain glowed red where spell after spell had battered it.  A moment later, he was back on the safe side of the ward.  The curtain of light had disappeared when James's wand lost contact with it, but Lily's eyes were wide as she stared where it had been.

            "James?  Did someone try to get through?"

            "Yeah," he said as he took her by the arm and hurried her back toward the school and safety.  "We have to tell the teachers about this passage.  Someone tried to get through from Hogsmeade tonight."

            James and Lily were just passing the library when they heard Professor Dumbledore's voice echoing through the corridor.  "The aurors believe that the danger has passed for tonight and have just escorted your classmates back to the school.  All prefects may now return to your common rooms, and we would ask that all students remain in their common rooms and dormitories for the remainder of the night.  Please keep those students who are still missing in your thoughts."

            Lily hesitated for a moment, apparently torn between hurrying directly to Professor Dumbledore's office with a warning about the secret tunnel, which was not a secret from the Death Eaters, and hurrying to Gryffindor to discover if her friends were among those who had returned or among those still missing.  James felt the same emotional dilemma, but he also saw a practical reason in returning to the tower first.

            "Let's get back to Gryffindor and find Remus," James said.  "He's the one who knows that ward best.  Dumbledore may want to ask him about it, or the aurors may want him to take it down so they can go through."  Lily nodded, grateful that the logical choice was also the desired one.

They must have arrived at Gryffindor Tower just on the heels of their housemates, for the excited babble of voices had not yet died down, nor had Professor McGonagall departed.  After escorting her teenage charges back to the Fat Lady and giving the new password, she now stood just outside the open portrait, unwilling to intrude on the students, but not quite ready to walk away.  

"You'll tell her?" Lily asked.

"Yeah, you go on in and see if all of your friends are back."

Lily gave his forearm a slight squeeze, as if wishing him luck when facing the sterm head of their house, and slipped past McGonagall with the words, "Pardon me, Professor."

James stepped forward.  "Professor?  I found something you should know about.   I know of a hidden tunnel that leads to the cellar of the Hog's Head Inn, and when Lily and I checked it tonight, we found that someone tried to get through it tonight."

McGonagall fixed her square spectacles on James and peered up at him intently.  "Let me see if I understand you, Potter.  You know of a tunnel between the school and Hogsmeade—where Death Eaters attacked students tonight—and instead of coming forward immediately and telling an adult about this tunnel, you went down into it?"

"It's not as bad as it sounds, Professor.  We have—"

"No, it's not as bad as it sounds; it's worse.  Not only did you put your life in danger by going into this tunnel, but you brought Miss Evans with you, even though you know she's gotten death threats."

For the second time that week, James knew that he was in the wrong and that he had no excuse.

"Honestly," McGonagall huffed as she put both fists on her hips and shook her head slightly.  "You and Black may be the top students of your year, but for all the common sense you show at times, one would think that your combined brainpower was less than that of a puffskein.  And _you_!" she looked over James's shoulder. "Did you risk your life by going down into a tunnel tonight too?"

"Yes, Professor," Remus answered as he took his place beside James.  His robe was covered with dust and dirt.  "I found that the tunnel had caved in, and one person was killed."

McGonagall's eyes widened.  "Who?  Please not a student."  The last was an almost whispered plea.

"He graduated two years ago, Charles Liegeard.  He was still wearing a Death Eater mask when I partially dug him out."

"We have to see the Headmaster immediately," McGonagall said as he turned on her heel and headed down the corridor.  James and Remus both hesitated for a moment and glanced at the now closed portrait of the Fat Lady.  

"Professor?" James called out as they hurried to follow her swiftly retreating figure.  "Could you tell us if Peter made it back all right?"

"Yes, he did," Professor McGonagall replied in a kinder tone.  "However Isabel Shacklebolt is still missing as are four students from other houses."

Author's Note:  Charles Liegeard, our dead Death Eater, can be found still alive in the story "In the Hogwarts Library."  You'll find it posted under my other pen name, mysid.


	8. February Fifteenth and Sixteenth

Disclaimer: Professor Dumbledore and his students are the property of J. K. Rowling.  

Choosing the Head Boy Chapter Eight—February Fifteenth and Sixteenth 

Despite it being a Sunday morning, almost everyone had chosen to come to the Great Hall for breakfast rather than sleep late.  All were anxiously awaiting news of the five missing students.

Remus and James's confession to Professor Dumbledore that they had known of two secret tunnels to Hogsmeade had gone better than they had feared.  Dumbledore had been more concerned with the fact that the Death Eaters had apparently tried to use them and failed, than he was with the fact that the students had tried to keep the tunnels a secret.  

Neither Dumbledore nor Horatio Sinistra, the auror in his office when they arrived, had asked the all-important question—did they know of any other secret passages to Hogsmeade?  James could equivocate with the best of them, and he wasn't above an outright lie from time to time, but he knew he wouldn't lie about this if asked outright.  _If_ asked—and he was not.  James rationalized to himself that if the Death Eaters had known about either of their two remaining tunnels, they would have used them.  Thus, they must still be a secret.  Remus also chose to keep quiet about the tunnels behind the third floor mirror and the fourth floor one-eyed witch statue.  James assumed, correctly he later learned, that Remus had checked them and was certain that they had not been used.

The auror had been quite impressed by Remus's ward.  He deemed it "breakable," but only by a specialist.  Dumbledore assured them all that additional layers of protection would be added to the tunnel.  As for the other tunnel, Remus had no explanation for the cave in.  Professor Dumbledore had stated that there were two possible explanations.  The cave in might have been caused by the ancient magic that protected the school from those who wished to harm those within—or it may have been a fortunate coincidence.  

"Never discount the importance of good luck, Gentlemen," he advised.  "A four-leaf clover is one of my most prized possessions."

When they finally returned to their dormitory three hours later, Sirius and Peter were waiting up for them.  Peter recounted in great detail how he and Anna had been having a cozy dinner at the Three Broomsticks when two aurors and several students had burst in.  The Three Broomsticks had then become the gathering place for all the students in town.  

Of all the couples, only Vivian Tierney and Owen Jones, the Gryffindor Quidditch team members, had had a close call.  They had been just starting the moonlit walk back to the school when they had heard footfalls behind them.  They had turned to see who else was journeying back to the school just as the first spells were shot at them.  They had managed to dodge the initial spells and fight back.  The flashes of light had attracted the attention of the aurors who had just arrived in Hogsmeade.  The Death Eaters had disapparated as soon as they realized they would not be dealing only with inexperienced students.  

"I wonder why the Death Eaters targeted who they did?" Peter wondered aloud over breakfast.  "Every house has at least one student missing."

"They probably didn't target anyone," Remus said as he nudged Sirius and pointed at the platter of sausage and bacon.  "They just looked for targets of opportunity."  Remus piled his plate high.  He alone of the four of them didn't stop eating when upset, and with the full moon that night, his tastes were decidedly carnivorous.

"If it weren't for the fact that Slytherin's seeker is missing, I'd find it very suspicious that all three Gryffindors who were attacked are on the Quidditch team," James said.  Isabel, like James, was a chaser.  They had played together for so long that he couldn't imagine playing the game without her.

"You really are obsessed with that game, aren't you?" Lily asked with a slight smile.  The Gryffindor seventh-years were sitting together that morning.  As they awaited word on their missing classmate, the group solidarity felt right.

"But it is strange that a Slytherin student is missing," Maisie said darkly.  "Attacking one of their own?"

"Not all Death Eaters are Slytherins, and not all Slytherins become Death Eaters," Remus pointed out.

"Charles Liegeard was a Slytherin," Sirius muttered.

"But your brother is in Slytherin, and he wouldn't…" Eurydice's voice died away before she could finish.  The dark look she received from Sirius told her that the topic was not open for duscussion.

"It's ironic," Ivy said suddenly, perhaps to change the subject, "Thaddeus Crouch has been trying to get up the nerve to ask Jane Lyman out for forever, this was their first date, and now because they were in Hogsmeade on that date, they're missing."  Crouch and Lyman were both sixth-years, Crouch in Slytherin and Lyman in Ravenclaw.

"Wait a second," Sirius said peering intently at Ivy, "Crouch was out on a date with Lyman last night?"

"Yes.  Jane's one of my sister's friends.  Haven't you ever noticed the way Jane and Thad always study together in the library?  I'm just surprised it took him so long to ask her out."

Sirius pulled a note out of his pocket and put it face down on the table.  "Hand over the pen, James.  I know you carry it everywhere."  James pulled his fountain pen out of his pocket and gave it to Sirius.  Lily blushed slightly as she pretended to be interested in pulling her toast into pieces.  Sirius began to write the names of the students who were attacked the night before, both the missing five and the three who managed to escape.  He listed them as couples: Jane Lyman and Thaddeus Crouch, Vivian Tierney and Owen Jones, Meg Stewart and Sebastian Bones.

"Were Isabel and Danny O'Leary together?" Sirius asked.

"Yes.  Why?"

Sirius did not answer.  He wrote the two additional names and then looked down the list putting dots of ink next to some of the names.  James watched over his shoulder trying to guess what the dots meant.  Two boys, two girls, one from each couple.  Sirius went through the list again, slowly checking off the other four names.

"Bastards," Sirius muttered as he dropped the pen and scrubbed at his eyes as if to erase what he had just seen.  "There's the motive."

"Would you care to enlighten us lesser mortals, Mr. Black?" James asked.  He still couldn't figure out what the marks represented.  One Gryffindor was a dot; the other two were checks, as was the Slytherin.

"You won't like it."

"I already don't like it.  Spill."

"In each couple, one is Muggle-born and one is a pureblood."

Lily paled before James's eyes.  He felt his heart miss a beat at the thought that her life had been endangered merely by dating him.

"They wanted to punish purebloods who dared to date those who are not, and they wanted to frighten other purebloods from doing the same," Remus reflected.  "After all, we can't have any more half-blood spawn like me polluting the bloodlines."

"I _never_ should have told you that my mother said that about you," Sirius grumbled.

"That's why they picked Valentine's Day," Eurydice said, "for the symbolism of it.  To help get the message across."

"It was also a good choice strategically," Remus pointed out.  "They knew that their intended targets would be in pairs—more efficient than seeking them out one by one but easier to attack successfully than a group.  It's the way I'd have planned it."

"Has anyone ever told you that you're scary sometimes, Remus?" Ivy said.

"What bothers me," Remus continued, "is that the Death Eaters apparently knew who would be going on a date with whom, not only long-term couples like Bones and Stewart, but Crouch and Lyman who were on their first date.  Someone _here_ tipped them off, wrote up a list of potential targets."

"It's a good thing James and Lily broke up," Peter said as he began to tap open a soft-boiled egg.  "They would have been at the top of the list."

"Shut up, Peter," James snapped.  He knew it was true; he didn't need to hear it—nor did Lily.

Maisie had taken the list away from Sirius and was examining it carefully.  "Sirius?  It looks like you marked Owen as a Muggle-born, but I know his parents were in Gryffindor."

"Yeah, he's not _technically _Muggle-born, but he's close enough.  Both of his parents are Muggle-born.  My family would see that as the same thing, and so would a lot of others.  Just like Sebastian Bones has some Muggle ancestry, but it's enough generations back that most wizards would consider him pureblood."

As Maisie handed the list back, James took it and looked at Sirius's marks again.  "How do you know about the ancestry of all these people?"

"I just do," Sirius said with a shrug.  Then more darkly he added, "If you'd grown up in my family, you'd know too."  

James suddenly remembered Snape's comment when James had asked him how he knew the parentage of Albert Marsh.  "How do you not?  This is the world we live in, Potter."

"Sinistra's back," Remus said.  

The murmuring of subdued voices in the Great Hall slowly faded away into silence as the auror strode up the aisle between the Slytherin and Ravenclaw tables.  He went directly to the Headmaster who stood to meet him. As Sinistra spoke to him quietly, Dumbledore listened with a somber expression but with very little reaction.  James's heart sank when McGonagall bowed her head and buried her face in the handkerchief clutched in her hand.  Dumbledore continued to stand unmoving and silent until the auror was nearly out of the room.  Then he took a deep breath and looked out at the worried faces.

"It is my sad duty to tell you that the bodies of your five fellow students have been found.  They were found in a place where Muggles discard their rubbish."

The mood of sorrow and mourning in the Gryffindor common room gained elements of anger and fear when a few younger students returned from the library and reported what students in other houses were saying—the Death Eaters had targeted only pureblood—Muggle-born couples.

"Sirius wasn't the only one to figure it out," Peter said.

"I knew he wouldn't be," Remus replied.  "What good is a message if it isn't understood?  It'll be in _The Daily Prophet_ tomorrow; someone will make sure of it."

Remus and Peter were sitting off by themselves in the common room.  James and Sirius were near the fire with the other Quidditch team members and the seventh-year girls, those who had known Isabel best.  Although Sirius had been removed from the team for disciplinary reasons last year, at a moment like this, he was still part of the team.

"I'm going for a walk, Wormtail," Remus said suddenly.  He always became restless as the full moon approached, and this morning's news had left him more agitated than normal.  "Do you want to come, or stay here?"

"Are you going to stay inside the castle?"  Remus nodded.  "O.K., I'll come."

James and Sirius both noticed their departure, but Remus gave them a slight smile and a half-wave on his way out.  He wanted them to know that their company was not required; they could stay where they were.  James nodded in acknowledgement.

"Where do you want to go?" Peter asked as soon as they were in the corridor.

"Doesn't matter.  I just had to get out of there."

"Getting claustrophobic?"

"Something like that."  Although he wasn't technically claustrophobic, Remus had used the word occasionally in an attempt to explain to his friends the way that enclosed or crowded places made him feel when the wolf grew stronger.

Although Remus led the way on a seemingly random path, he made a mental note to stay in main corridors.  Tensions were running high in the school, and neither Peter nor he needed to run into Slytherin students in some out-of-the way corner of the school.

"Moony, does it ever make you nervous that your mum's Muggle-born—with all that's going on, I mean."

"Of course it does.  I hate that she's a potential target.  It's been just Mum and I for most of my life.  The thought of losing her—it makes me angry; that's what it does.  But, I try to keep in mind that other than the fact that she's Muggle-born, there's no reason for her to be a target.  She has an anonymous job in a small business, she lives a very private life, and she's not even married to my dad anymore, so they won't target her for the whole pureblood—Muggle-born angle."

"No, I mean, do you ever get scared for _you_ because your mum is Muggle-born?"

Remus laughed.  "Because I'm 'half-blood spawn,' you mean?"

"I wouldn't have put it that way."

"I know you wouldn't, Peter," Remus said as he put his arm around his shorter friend's shoulders.  "I guess I never thought about it.  Compared to _you-know_," he dropped his voice although they appeared to be alone, "the amount of prejudice I'm likely to face for being considered a half-blood seems pretty insignificant."

After Remus preceded the way up a narrow staircase, Peter suddenly asked, "What if being a half-blood was the worst you had to worry about?  Would you be worried?  Do you think you'd be a target?  If the Death Eaters are killing people who _might_ have half-blood children, isn't the next step to kill people who are half-bloods?"

The note of urgency in Peter's voice made Remus stop in his tracks and observe his friend closely.  Then he remembered.  

"Anna," Remus said.  Peter's girlfriend, Anna, had a Muggle mother and a wizard father.  "Don't worry, Wormtail.  We'll help you keep her safe."

Peter nodded, but he did not seem reassured.  He suddenly looked down at his feet and jumped back with a small yelp.  The silvery figure of the Fat Friar, the Hufflepuff ghost, was floating up through the floor where Peter had been standing.

"My apologies, young man," the Friar said with a nod in Peter's direction, "I can't see through floors as easily as I can move through them."

"Quite alright," Peter mumbled.

"I was looking for you, Mr. Lupin," the Friar said.  "They said in your common room that you'd gone for a walk, and Sir Nicholas and I have been searching high and low for you."

"Me?" Remus involuntarily glanced at his watch although he knew it was far too early for him to go to the Shrieking Shack.  "What is it?"

"Professor Dumbledore needs to see you as soon as possible.  There's no password today—too many necessary visitors in regard to last night's tragedy—but if the gargoyle doesn't step aside right away, it's because the Headmaster is with another visitor and doesn't want to be disturbed.  Just wait until the gargoyle lets you go up."

"Do you want me to go with you?" Peter asked.

"No thanks.  Why don't you go see if you can spend some time with Anna?  Brother Hugh, if Peter went to the corridor outside the Hufflepuff common room, would you stop inside and tell Anna Stalk that Peter's waiting for her in the corridor?"

"No trouble at all," the ghost said with a smile.  "Always glad to assist young lovers—within the bounds decency permits, of course."

"No, that's alright, Brother Hugh," Peter said quickly.  "I think I'm just going to go back to Gryffindor."  He hurried away as quickly as one could walk without running. 

"Well, that's a strange way to court a young woman," Brother Hugh said.  "Of course, courting women was never my forte.  You'd better run along as well, Mr. Lupin."

"I will.  Thank you, Brother Hugh."  

Remus was only two floors above the entrance to the Headmaster's office, so he soon found himself face to face with the familiar gargoyle who guarded Dumbledore's staircase.  The gargoyle remained motionless, so Remus crouched down with his back against the opposite wall.  Several long minutes passed before the gargoyle shook his head as if just awakening and then sprang aside.  The staircase was spiraling down, so Remus stood but waited patiently.  Dumbledore soon came into view accompanying Professor Grianan and two other people.  A middle-aged witch was crying and leaning on the arm of an equally red-eyed wizard.  Remus didn't know whose parents they were by sight, but Grianan's presence meant that their child had been a Slytherin, Thaddeus Crouch.

Mrs. Crouch was speaking, but her words were half-lost in her sobs.  "—never should have—if we'd known—much potential—a waste—foolish boy—"  Her husband made no effort to respond.  He merely stroked her hair as he led her away.

Professor Grianan stared at Remus antagonistically, and Remus felt the wolf rise up within him to meet the unspoken challenge.  He stared back and barely managed to suppress the urge to growl at the challenger.  The Headmaster stepped between teacher and pupil and gestured toward the stairs.

"Would you come up to my office, Remus?  There's a problem we need to discuss." 

"Of course, Professor," Remus said.  He glanced back toward Grianan as the stairs carried him up, but the professor was already walking away.  The relationship between the Defense Against the Dark Arts professor and his star student was an unusual one. For most of the month, Grianan treated Remus like any other student, but when the full moon drew near, his attitude shifted.  He began to watch Remus more carefully and closely.  Remus had felt like Grianan was studying him.  Watching for signs of the wolf and trying to determine how much of Remus was still human and how much was lupine as the moon drew near.  Then Sirius had commented that Grianan stared at Remus like a hunter sizing up his prey, and Remus realized that he was right.  If Grianan were ever to encounter Remus transformed, he would kill him without hesitation or a second thought.  Remus found the idea as comforting as it was terrifying.

"I'm afraid we cannot allow you to use the Shrieking Shack tonight," Dumbledore said without preamble as he gestured toward a chair for Remus's use.  He circled behind his desk and sat down as well.  "The aurors are still all over Hogsmeade.  Undoubtedly, they will investigate the Shack if they have not done so already, and if they hear unusual noises, they are far more likely to want to go in rather than stay away."

Remus nodded dumbly.  Aurors in the Shack—either he would kill them, or they would kill him; neither was a pleasant thought.

"I considered and rejected the idea of explaining to them that the building would be used by a werewolf during the full moon—I wouldn't use your name, of course—and asking them to stay out, but quite frankly, I wouldn't trust them.  Overall, they're good and brave people.  Every one of them would willing give his or her life to protect you _while you are human_, but transformed—"

"A werewolf would make a great trophy kill," Remus said.  It was the way Grianan sometimes made him feel, and the aurors would be even less encumbered by sentiment than his professor.

"I'm afraid so.  But we have made alternate arrangements.  We've chosen a room in the castle, and Professor Flitwick and Professor Grianan are taking steps to make it both escape proof and soundproof.  Madam Pomfrey has told me that she often finds you in the upstairs bed on cold mornings, so we will make sure to put a bed in the room.  Is there anything else we should do to make this work for you?"

_"Yes, tell my friends how to get in so they can spend the moon with me,"_ Remus thought desperately, but he stared down at the carpet and shook his head.  "Actually, I need a place to put my clothes, a shelf or cabinet out of the wolf's reach.  Otherwise, I'll shred them."  _"Instead I'll just shred myself."_

"I'll see to that personally.  Just meet Madam Pomfrey at the usual time, she'll bring you to the room."

* * * * *

It had been a long and restless night for Lily.  Memories of Isabel ran through her mind.  The tears didn't come immediately, and Lily feared that it meant she was a bad person, unfeeling, when she heard sniffling in the neighboring beds.  When the hot tears welled up at last, they caught her by surprise.  Her mind had strayed away from thinking about Isabel at all, but the sight of her empty bed set the tears off.  Lily buried her face in her pillow to keep from her sobs from waking the others who had finally fallen asleep.

She was also troubled by fears.  She was a target twice over, and these murders proved that no one was safe even at Hogwarts.  She feared for herself.  She feared for James—should the unlikely happen and they begin dating again.  She feared for her parents and sister.  The Death Eaters frequently targeted families when they couldn't get someone more directly.  The Catto family murders had proven that.

When the sky began to grow lighter, Lily decided to abandon the pretense of sleeping.  She quietly got out of bed and pulled a sweatshirt on over her pajamas.  She didn't know if she could focus on schoolwork any more than she had been able to sleep, but she picked up her potions text and her half-finished essay anyway.

Given that many others in the house shared some of her reasons for insomnia, she wasn't completely surprised when she heard hushed voices in the common room.  She paused on the stairs and listened for a moment so she could be sure she wasn't intruding.  She was surprised to realize that the two voices were those of James and Sirius.

"—we go yet?" Sirius was asking.

"Only if you want to spend an hour sitting in front of a locked infirmary door.  Pomfrey said she'd let us in to visit him at seven, no earlier."  
            Sirius made a strange sound that was half whine and half growl.  "This is so frustrating!  He shouldn't have been alone like this, _especially_ since he was upset about Isabel and everyone.  You know he's worse when he's upset."

"Pomfrey will take good care of him," James said reassuringly.  "She always does."

"_If_ he made it through the night."

"He did.  We just have to believe he did."  James didn't sound much more certain of it than Sirius did.

"He came so close last year," Sirius said very quietly.  Lily went two steps lower on the stairs; it was as close as she could get without being seen.  "He almost died that night, James."

"I know."

"He hates being alone."

"I know."

"Can't we go yet?  We can take the cloak and sneak in the infirmary.  I just need to see that he made it through the night.  Please?"

"Alright.  Fetch, Padfoot."

Lily withdrew back into the shadows of a higher step as she heard Sirius fly up the other staircase.  Although they had not said who "he" was, she had no doubt that it was Remus.  She had figured out years ago that he had a chronic illness.  One couldn't be in his house and year and not notice his frequent absences.  Some absences were family related, but many others—too many others—were obviously due to illness.  After both became prefects and they had gotten to know each other better, many times she had been tempted to ask him about it.  Two things stopped her every time.  First, Remus didn't seem willing to discuss it.  He would deny that he was ill even when anyone with eyes could see that it was a lie.  Second, she feared that he would tell her that his illness was fatal.  She didn't know how she would react if he told her that.  What do you say to someone who's just told you that he's going to die?

Sirius ran back down the stairs as quickly as he had gone up.  He and James briefly discussed the likelihood of Filch being up this early—they thought it unlikely—and agreed to wait to wear the cloak when they got closer to the hospital wing.  Lily was certain that they were discussing an invisibility cloak.  One too many veiled references to the thing over the years had made it a rather open secret.  After the common room became silent, she waited a few moments longer before she went down the stairs.  

By six-thirty, she had given up on Potions.  Her essay made her think of the Potions N.E.W.T., which made her think of the fact that Isabel would never get to take her N.E.W.T.'s, and the fact that Remus might not get to take them either.  _"Life is so unfair sometimes," _she thought, and then she frowned at the triteness of the thought.  _"So what are you going to do about it, Lily?"_  There was nothing she could do for Isabel; she couldn't even say, "Good-bye."  Was there anything she could do for Remus?  She didn't know, but she was tired of not knowing simply because she was afraid to ask.  James and Sirius knew what was wrong with their friend and faced it head on, even if all they could do was visit him when he was ill.  Lily went upstairs to shower and dress.  She was going to visit a sick friend.

It was a few minutes after seven by the time she reached the hospital wing, and Lily was relieved to find the door unlocked.  Given that Madam Pomfrey seemed to be rather strict above limiting _when_ people could visit Remus, she might also be strict about _who_ could visit Remus.  Lily let herself in quietly.  A handful of nearby beds were occupied, but all of those students were both asleep and alone.  At the far end of the ward, curtains surrounded a bed.  Madam Pomfrey came out from behind the curtains, speaking to someone inside, and headed for the small room where she kept her healing potions and other supplies.  Lily took advantage of Pomfrey's brief absence and walked quickly toward the curtained bed.  As she drew near, the sound of Sirius's voice told her that she had guessed correctly.

"What are you trying to do?"

"I just can't—ow," Remus's voice was strained and rough.  Lily peeked around the corner cautiously and saw Remus extend an arm to Sirius.  "Help me sit up more; I can't quite manage."

Sirius looped one arm around Remus's chest and pulled him up and back against the pillow.  "You need another pillow," he said.  "Fetch, Prongs."

"Woof," James said as he jumped up from his chair.  Before he could take one step however, he found himself face to face with Lily.  "Oh—uh—"  He shifted slightly to his left as if to block Remus from Lily's view.  "What are you doing here?"

"Damn," she heard Sirius whisper.

"I believe it's customary to visit friends when they're in hospital," Lily replied.  She stood on tiptoe and peeked over James's shoulder.  "Hi, Remus."

Remus was quite pale.  His eyes were feverishly bright and as wide as a frightened child's.  "Hi, Lily," he whispered back.

"Now, you lost a lot of blood last night, Remus, so I want you to drink every drop of this," Madam Pomfrey explained as she came back within the curtains.  She was pouring a dark purplish-red potion into a brass goblet as she entered.  "Then after breakfast—oh, dear me."  When she caught sight of Lily, she appeared just as flustered as James had been.

James was not flustered any more.  "Lily and I are going for a little walk," he said decisively.  He took her by the elbow as if to lead her out, but she pulled away.

"No, I want to visit with Remus."

"You can visit with Remus _after_ we talk," James insisted.  

Lily looked at Remus, hoping to see that he wished her to stay.  Remus was staring down at the bed covers and so still that he was barely breathing.  Sirius sat on the edge of the bed, but he was leaning across it with one hand resting on the mattress on the other side of Remus's legs.  It seemed that he, like James, wanted to block Remus from Lily's view.

"Alright," she agreed.  She had come to be supportive, not to intrude. "Remus, may I come back later?  I won't if you don't want me to."

Remus nodded.  "It's O.K."

"After supper, Miss Evans," Madam Pomfrey added.  "Remus needs to rest today."

Not far from the infirmary was a small sitting room.  James held the door open for Lily and then lit a fire in the grate.  Lily took a seat by the fire, and James sat in the chair opposite.  The grim expression on his face seemed out of place on the ever-joking James Potter.

"How much do you know?" he asked.  

"You mean about Remus's illness?"  He nodded.  "Not much.  I've always known that he was sick, but I thought—I hoped—it was just something chronic.  I hoped it wasn't—"  She looked down at her hands in embarrassment.  "I have a little confession to make.  I came down to the common room just as you and Sirius were leaving,"—_"a small white lie"_—"and I heard Sirius say that he might die.  What's wrong with him?"  She felt tears threaten to spill out as she looked up at him again.

"You'll probably kill me for saying this," James said with the faintest of smiles, "but I can't tell you.  We all promised Remus that we wouldn't tell anyone."

"Why?  I don't understand why he wants to be so secretive about this.  Is he that afraid of people feeling sorry for him?"

"No," James chuckled slightly, "that's not what he's afraid of."  James stared into the flames for a moment and his brow wrinkled as if in thought.  "How would you feel if I told you that he's contagious?"

"What?"  Lily felt a momentary shock of fear—_"Contagious and fatal"_—fear not for herself but for James and Sirius and Peter.  They were his dorm mates.  If Remus were contagious, they were the ones most at risk.

"It's more like—theoretically contagious," James assured her.  "It's really, really difficult to catch, and we're very, very careful.  You aren't any danger whatsoever, Lily.  You really aren't.  But because there's a _possibility_ of danger, most people would be afraid of him if they knew.  If other students found out, if their parents found out, Remus would be thrown out of school so fast he wouldn't even have time to pack.  That's what Remus is afraid of."

"Oh."  A younger, more naïve Lily might have protested that people were more compassionate than James's portrayal.  Yesterday's murders and the murders that had preceded it had shattered any such illusions.

"You are safe, Lily.  Do you believe me?"

"Of course I do.  If it were dangerous to be around him, you, Sirius, and Peter would have caught it by now."

"So you'll keep this a secret?"

"Of course.  Now can you tell me what's wrong with him?"

He shook his head.  "Sorry, I promised Remus that I wouldn't.  He might tell you, but I doubt it.  If you ever do figure it out, it would really mean a lot to him to hear you say that you know and you don't care."  James suddenly smiled.  "But you know what?  Now that you've figured out this much, I can tell you where I was that night last month.  We were with Remus.  He was sick that night, and we were keeping him company."

"You could have told me that!"

"Not really.  You see, Remus is only contagious _sometimes_.  He was contagious that night, and we weren't allowed to visit him, but we did anyway."

"James!  That was a stupid risk to take.  Madam Pomfrey obviously knows more about his condition than you do, and if she said—"

"It was worth it," James said firmly.  "Do you know what the second most common cause of death is for people with Remus's 'condition'?  Self-inflicted injuries.  If we stay with him, we can keep him from injuring or killing himself.  I'd say that's worth a little risk.  And we aren't at risk, not really.  Believe me, Remus wouldn't let us anywhere near him if he thought we were in danger.  We've come up with a way to stay safe while we're with him.  We have to break several rules to do it, but—it's worth it, Lily; it really is."

"You're a good friend, James Potter."

"Am I a good boyfriend too?"

"That's being taken into consideration."

James grinned and sprang forward to give Lily a quick kiss.  "Look, I'm _starving_.  Let me dash back to Remus and Sirius, reassure them that Remus doesn't need to pack, and then we can go have breakfast.  O.K.?"

"I'll be waiting."

Despite the early morning chill in the room, Lily felt a pleasant warmth inside.  She hadn't enjoyed one moment of this fight with James, and she was relieved that it was over.  He did have a good reason for being out all night, and he did have a good reason for not her telling what it was.  In fact, she was rather impressed that he was principled enough to put his promise to Remus above his own romantic interest.  She rose and held out her hands to the fire James had conjured.  She stared into the flames and for just a moment, she imagined the looks on her friends' faces when they walked into the Great Hall for breakfast and saw Lily with James—and then the warmth was gone.  _"Isabel won't be there.  They killed Isabel for dating a Muggle-born.  I can't put James at risk like that."_

She heard a knock at the door and saw James and Sirius standing in the doorway.  Sirius was watching her warily, as if afraid that Lily would change her mind about keeping Remus's illness a secret.

"Pomfrey kicked Sirius out, so he's going to tag along with us to breakfast."

"Good," Lily said as she deliberately smiled.  _"If Sirius is with us, we'll look less like a couple to anyone watching."_

Sirius yawned widely as they walked down the corridor, and a moment later, James did as well.  Lily wondered if they had slept at all while Remus was in the hospital wing.

"I wonder which house elf you have to sleep with to get coffee with breakfast." Sirius said.

"Rugger, he's the one with hairy ears," James answered.  "And you'll have to do the honors, not me."

Sirius snorted.  "I guess I'll just have to fall asleep in class; it's the lesser of two evils."

"Actually, there will be a pot of coffee at our table," James said.  "If you didn't skip breakfast so often, you'd figure out that the house elves always send some up to us the day after—Remus gets sick."

"Efficient little buggers, aren't they?"

"Sounds to me like James did something to get on Rugger's good side," Lily added with a smile.  "If we hadn't broken up, I'd be very jealous."  

Sirius laughed, muttered, "Buggered by Rugger," and laughed again.  James suddenly tackled Sirius to the floor and began tickling him unmercifully.  "STOP!  STOP!  Aahh!" Sirius managed to squirm away enough to begin tickling James.  

As they rolled around on the floor laughing in the way that only the truly happy or the truly sleep-deprived can, Lily watched with amusement.  She stepped back a few times to avoid being knocked down herself.  Then a sudden thought struck her.

"James, last month, how did you know in advance when Remus would be sick?"  Both boys immediately stopped laughing and stared at each other for a moment.  James looked very deliberately at Lily's mouth, not quite meeting her eyes, as he searched for an answer.

"Can't fool you, can we, Lily?" Sirius said as stood up and extended a hand down to his friend.  "The truth is, I was planning on getting into a bit of mischief that night, and I talked James into coming along.  Then Remus got sick, and—plans changed."


	9. February Continues

Disclaimer: Professor Dumbledore and his students are the property of J. K. Rowling.  

Dedicated to my wonderful hubby who fixed our computer!

Choosing the Head Boy Chapter Nine—February Continues 

            Four days had passed since the tragedies of Valentine's evening.  Remus had missed all of Monday and Tuesday's classes.  Lily had indeed visited Remus in the hospital wing on Monday evening and on Tuesday evening as well.  The first time, she didn't stay long.  Remus seemed very tired, so when Peter stood to leave, Lily took that as her cue to leave as well.  On Tuesday evening, Remus was sitting up in bed and playing cards with Sirius.  They dealt her in as soon as they saw her.  

It was the first time Lily had spent any time with Sirius that he wasn't with James. She noticed the way Sirius quietly and without fuss did the little things necessary to make Remus more comfortable.  When Remus shifted position, Sirius made sure to put pillows where he'd need them.  When it was Remus's turn to deal, Sirius first shuffled the cards before giving them to Remus.  The bandages on part of Remus's right hand would have made shuffling difficult if not impossible.  When Remus glanced toward the pitcher of water on the nightstand, Sirius poured him a glass without even needing to be asked.  Throughout, he kept the conversation going as smoothly as if he were not keeping half of his attention on whatever Remus might need.  

This was not the trouble-making, attention-seeking Sirius Black that Lily thought she knew.  She wondered if he had grown up as much in the past year as James apparently had, or if Remus's illness just brought out Sirius's nurturing side.  She kept biting back an impulse to call him "Florence Nightingale."  Perhaps James had shown better judgment in choosing a best friend than she had thought.

Lily had noticed, but did not comment upon, the fact that Remus had bandages around both wrists and several fingers of his right hand.  James's words about "self-inflicted injuries" kept running through her mind.  "If we stay with him, we can keep him from injuring or killing himself."  She wondered if Remus had tried to slit his wrists, and she wondered what kind of illness could create that kind of desperation.  Attempted suicide, however, did not explain the large bandage she glimpsed around Remus's calf when he got out of bed to go to the bathroom.

"I can walk, Sirius," he said as he waved off his friend's assistance.  "If Madam Pomfrey sees you helping me, she won't let me out tomorrow."

When the bandages were removed, and Remus finally returned to classes and Gryffindor tower, his friends surrounded him like a protective phalanx.  In the corridors, in the Great Hall, in classes, James and Sirius stayed on either side of Remus, and Peter stayed just in front or just behind.  Lily had noticed this pack-like behavior before but had always just assumed it was James wanting to be surrounded by his adoring fan club.  She wondered how often she had really been observing what they were doing today, making sure no one jostled or reinjured Remus while he was still recuperating.

Lily avoided James throughout this time period.  Although the misunderstanding had been cleared up, and they had made their peace over it, the more significant problem remained.  If Lily dated James, she made him as much of a target as she was herself.  She could not in good conscience do that to him.  He had had hall duty on Tuesday—hence his absence from the hospital bed card game—but she did not know where he was this evening.  She was just about to retreat up to the safety of her dormitory when Remus called her over.

"Lily, could you help me with this?" he said with a gesture to his Charms textbook.  "I've got James's notes from Tuesday, but—"  He held up his hands in a gesture of surrender or hopelessness. 

"He doesn't take very good notes?" she said with a smile as she slipped into the seat beside him.

"No, it's not that, not exactly.  I'm sure for James these notes would make complete sense and cover everything he needs to know, but I'm not James.  Half the stuff covered in class is so obvious to him, so instinctive, that he doesn't bother to write it down.  Usually he explains his notes to me, and then it all makes perfect sense, but he's not here and we have Charms tomorrow."

"Where is he, anyway?"

"No idea," Remus said darkly.  He didn't appear happy about that.  "He and Sirius disappeared right after dinner without a word."

Lily had been looking through James's notes as they spoke.  The various abbreviations and curving arrows made no sense to her. "I can see why this doesn't make sense.  What in the world does 'viz' mean?"

"Visualize," Remus explained.  "The abbreviations don't bother me; I know them all.  I've been using my friends' notes to catch up since first-year.  James's notes are usually the best of the three."

"Why don't I get my notebook?" Lily said.  "We can go through Tuesday's notes together."

Lily and Remus spent a productive hour and a half together.  Remus had caught on quickly to all the material covered in the missed Charms class, and they had moved on to Monday's Potions class.  

"I did do some homework yesterday, really," Remus assured Lily.  "But I put off Potions.  I hate that class, _passionately_.  Is it my imagination, or does every potion we've studied this year reek even more than the one before it?"

"We have had some rather unpleasant ones recently," Lily admitted.

"That one last month to restore grey hair to its original colour—I could barely keep down my breakfast.  I'd much rather be completely grey than ever smell than vile concoction again.  Why anyone would _ever_ choose to make that when they could purchase Muggle hair dye is a mystery to me.  That's what my mum does," he added in a conspiratorial whisper.

Lily giggled.  "Mine too.  But I think the point of that lesson was learning the technique of—"

"They're back," Remus said suddenly.  Lily followed his gaze to the portrait hole.  James had just climbed in and was followed a moment later by Sirius.  "And they look altogether too pleased with themselves."

"What were you two up to tonight?" Lily asked when a grinning James sat across from her and an equally happy Sirius took the seat opposite Remus.

"You don't want to know, Lils," James said with a smirk.  He glanced over at Sirius, and they both began to chuckle at some private joke.  Lily thought that he might be right.  Deniability could be a good thing.

"I want to know," Remus said sternly.  He stared at Sirius, and Sirius dropped his gaze to the tabletop.

"Nothing bad, really," James assured him.

Remus continued to stare at Sirius, and Lily noticed Sirius peek up from under the fringe of his shaggy hair.  "What—did—you—do?"  Remus emphasized each word as he demanded an answer.

"Just a little reconnaissance mission," Sirius said.

"Where?"

"In the dungeons."

"Inside Slytherin?"

Sirius glanced nervously at Lily rather than reply.

"It's O.K.; I know James has an invisibility cloak," she said.

"You do?" James asked in surprise.

"Half of Gryffindor has figured _that _out," she replied.

Sirius looked back at Remus and nodded.  "We were thinking about what you said, that someone here probably drew up the list of targets for Valentine's Day, and we hoped we could figure out who."

"And they'd just blurt it out in the common room," Remus said sarcastically as he leaned back in his chair and folded his arms across his chest.

"Well, we weren't _just_ in the common room," James said with a grin.  "We listened in on a few more private conversations as well.  You'll never guess who Rosier is shagging."

"You may have to do a memory charm on me for that one, Jamie-boy," Sirius said with a shudder.  "Shocked my virgin eyes."

"Is that _all_ you did, _observe_?" Remus asked.  "You didn't by any chance torment anyone, or leave any little surprises behind like shampoo that turns their hair bright pink or wet-start fireworks in the showers?"

"Well—" Sirius began, but when James started to laugh, Sirius succumbed to laughter as well.

"Damn it, Padfoot, you promised!" Remus stood abruptly and began piling up his books.  "You _swore_ that you wouldn't antagonize him anymore, that you'd leave him alone until we finish school."

"I didn't, Moony! I swear that I didn't do _anything_ to Snape.  The greasy-haired git was _right there_, but I didn't do _anything_."  

Remus had picked up his books but did not walk away.  He looked at James. 

"James didn't do anything to him either," Sirius assured him.

"What did you do," Lily asked, "and to whom?"

"Regulus," James said with a smile.  

"My bootlicking little brother is still fair game, isn't he?" Sirius asked and then bit his lower lip.

"Yeah, he's fair game," Remus conceded as he sat down again.

"Good, because you were our primary accomplice," James said with a chuckle.

"What'd I do?"

"Remember that potion we made last month to cure grey hair?" James asked.  Lily giggled as Remus nodded with a slight smile.  "You botched it, Re; you really did."

"I'm not surprised.  It smelled so bad I could hardly think straight.  So which one of you do I owe my thanks for the good grade I got on it?"

"Me," James said.  "I pocketed the vial you planned to hand in and gave you a vial of what I made.  _Your potion_ found its way into Regulus's shampoo bottle."

"What's it going to do to him?"

"I'm not sure.  Either he's going to go prematurely grey, or his hair will fall out."

Remus sighed, leaned back in his chair, and nodded.  "O.K., he was far prettier than he deserved to be."

"Lily?" James asked.

She nodded.  "Siblings are fair game.  In fact, if you have any of that potion left, I've got a sister."

* * * * *

By Friday evening, three of the five funerals had already taken place.  Thaddeus Crouch's funeral had been very private, for family only.  Jane Lyman's had been held during the week in the Muggle village where she grew up.  Her family had politely but firmly discouraged the attendance of Jane's friends and teachers.  They blamed the wizarding world for her death, and they did not want that world to intrude on their grief.  Sebastian Bones's funeral had been Friday afternoon, and as it was held in Hogsmeade, the Hogwarts students and staff were well represented.

The last two funerals, those for Isabel Shacklebolt and Danny O'Leary, had been scheduled for Saturday specifically because their families wanted their children's schoolmates to be able to attend.  Isabel's was taking place in the morning, in London, and Danny's in the afternoon, in Limerick. Danny and Isabel had had many friends in common, and as many of the mourners planned to attend both, the Ministry had agreed to the use of portkeys to transport the students from London to Limerick and back again.  Professor Dumbledore had arranged for the Hogwarts Express to take the students to and from London.  

It had been dark for several hours when the students boarded the carriages that would take them to the Hogsmeade train station and the waiting steam train.  Lily had once believed the carriages to be enchanted to move by themselves and thought them charming.  Now that she knew they were pulled by thestrals, she found them slightly creepy.  Perhaps what truly bothered her was the fact that more and more of her schoolmates could see the invisible horses every year.  As she made her way down the castle steps, she saw Sirius reach up to pet the nose of a thestral she could not see.  James, beside Sirius, had his back to her, so Lily tried to hurry onto a carriage before he spotted her.  Sirius, however, had other ideas and drew James's attention to her.  

"Lily!  Wait up; I'll ride with you," James called out.

She settled into a carriage with a sigh.  James Potter was not a boy one could shake off by being subtle.  "It might be better if you didn't ride with me," she pointed out when he began to step up into the carriage.

"Why?" he asked as he sat beside her and tossed his bag onto the opposite seat.  He pulled the door shut without waiting for her answer.

"It isn't very _safe_ for you and I to date," she said slowly, as if explaining a concept to a child.  "Remember?"

"Oh."  He reached for the strap of his bag, but the carriage suddenly lurched forward, and he sat back again.  "I'm sorry, Lily.  If you'd rather not take the chance of having me around, that's fine.  I guess I just thought that—this is going to sound awful—but you're already a target so I wouldn't make things any worse.  But if you—"

"No, you idiot," she interrupted.  "I put _you_ at risk."

"Me?"  He laughed.  "Lily, don't you know what Sirius and Remus and I all hope to do when we're done school?  We all hope to be aurors.  I'm not exactly planning on taking the safe route through life."

"But that's different.  It's one thing to risk your life doing something important and worthwhile, and another thing completely to take an unnecessary risk."

"Lily Evans, _you _are important and worthwhile.  I fell head over heels in love with you years ago, and I've just kept falling deeper ever since.  If you don't believe me by now that you are completely necessary to my life, then I have some serious courting to do."

Lily had to bite her lower lip to keep from laughing at his completely earnest use of the word "courting," but she did believe that he meant what he was saying.

"So, Miss Evans, Mr. Potter wishes to keep dating you.  Do you wish to keep dating him?  Because if you do, and we allow Voldemort and his proud-to-be-inbred minions into scaring us apart, then we've allowed them to win."

There was only one possible answer; she kissed him.  It was as wonderful as she remembered.

Although the joy of the moment and long pent-up desires might have inspired Lily and James to make their way from carriage to train compartment in an amorous tangle, their arrival at the small train depot and the sight of their somber housemates brought them back to reality.  They weren't on their way home for holiday, but on their way to their friend's funeral.  James held Lily's hand as he helped her down from the carriage, and they contented themselves with continuing to hold hands as they made their way onto the train.

"Can they sit with us?" James asked when he looked out a window and saw the carriage carrying Sirius, Remus, and Peter arrive.

"Of course."  

James gave her a quick kiss and hurried out of the compartment to fetch his friends.  Lily watched out the window as Professor Grianan and Professor McGonagall stepped out of the next carriage.  She wasn't surprised to see McGonagall.  Given that almost every member of Gryffindor house was on the train—friends of Isabel, friends of Isabel's younger brother, and just those who knew who Isabel was because she was on the Quidditch team—the presence of the head of their house was logical.  However, Lily was surprised to see Grianan.  Very few, if any, Slytherins would be attending the funerals.  It didn't make sense for the head of their house to travel with the train.  If he planned to attend the funerals, it would make more sense for him to wait until tomorrow and apparate from Hogsmeade like Professor Dumbledore planned to do.

As she watched, Grianan called Remus back from accompanying James onto the train.  He appeared to ask Remus a question; Remus shook his head as he answered. Grianan seemed surprised and spoke again.  Remus laughed before he replied.  

"Eavesdropping again, Lily?" James asked from behind her.

"It isn't eavesdropping if you're too far away to hear anything," she said as she turned back to see James, Sirius, and Peter entering the compartment.  "I was just wondering why Grianan is coming with the train."

"Probably to help protect everyone," Sirius replied as he threw his bag up into the overhead rack.  "He'd be a bit more of force to be reckoned with than Artemisia."  Professor Artemisia, the herbology teacher, was the head of Hufflepuff, Danny O'Leary's house.

"Oh, I don't know," James said with a grin as he sat down and pulled Lily into his lap.  "She's quite 'a force to reckoned with' against the vicious plants in Greenhouses Seven and Nine.  Yikes."

"Here you are," Remus said as he entered the compartment as well.  He nodded at Lily sitting on James's lap.  "Lily, it's nice to see you back where you belong."

"Nice to be back," she said, raising her voice to be heard over the chuckling around them.

"What did Professor Grim want?" Sirius asked as Remus put his bag in the overhead rack and sat down beside him.

"Oh, just a question about the last time I was ill."  Remus glanced at Lily and then looked at Sirius again.  "I'll tell you later."

"If you don't want to talk in front of me," Lily tried to stand up, but James pulled her back, "I can make myself scarce for awhile."

"No," Remus assured her.  "It was nothing important.  Sirius can be nosy later."

"_Do_ you want to go find your friends?" James asked her.  "I'll come with you."

"Actually, I'd rather wait awhile.  Every time we're around each other, we just set each other off again.  And I'm just all cried out, right now.  Does that sound completely heartless?"

"No," James assured her.  "Life has to go on.  Isabel certainly wouldn't want you to spend all your time crying for her."

"Besides," Sirius added, "if you get dehydrated crying tonight, you won't have any tears left for the funeral tomorrow, and then you really would look like a heartless bitch."  Remus began to chuckle, and the others joined in one by one.

* * * * *

Somehow the church setting transformed the students' black robes from everyday wear into deepest mourning.  When the service had begun, Lily found herself dry-eyed and emotionally numb.  She feared that Sirius's joking prophecy had come true, but when Ivy, who had known Isabel since primary school, rose to speak, the dam burst. Tears streamed down Lily's face as she listened to Ivy recount how Isabel had kept her calm with jokes during their first journey on the Hogwarts Express, how Isabel had dragged Ivy with her to Quidditch tryouts even though only Isabel really wanted to try out, and how the all the girls in their dormitory would stay up half the night talking whenever one of them was troubled.  Throughout it all, James held her hand.

When the mourners moved outside to the graveyard beside the church, Lily found herself watching Isabel's family.  The tears flowed freely down the calm faces of Isabel's parents, the way tears do when one does not try to restrain them.  They mourned their wonderful daughter and were proud to do so openly.  Isabel's two brothers, one a Gryffindor third-year and one younger, were trying to be "grown-up."  They sniffled and sobbed as they tried not to cry, but cry they did.

The time came to levitate the coffin into the grave.  Several people chosen by the Shacklebolts stepped forward.  Professor McGonagall, the head of Isabel's house, Ivy, who had been her friend so long, and James, representing her Quidditch teammates, were among them.  This wizard custom did not surprise Lily. She had attended the funeral for Virgil Catto and his family the previous summer.  As she watched the coffin lowered out of sight, she could not help but wonder how many other friends would fall victim before this war was won.

When James returned to his place by Lily's side, Peter peered around Remus and Sirius to see if James resumed holding Lily's hand.

_"Idiot.  Holding her hand in public where anyone could see,"_ Peter thought.  He looked over to where Anna was standing with her Hufflepuff housemates.  _"Some things just aren't worth risking your life."_

Author's Note:  Some people have asked is this story is going to get any slashier.   No.  My inspiration for this story was to utilize the new canon we learned in OotP.  I happen to LOVE the fact that JKR was deliberately ambiguous (and I do think it was _very_ deliberate) about the nature of Remus and Sirius's relationship.  Thus, I am trying to do exactly the same.  Hints will be dropped, but nothing will be stated.  So, if you are not a R/S shipper, in this story, they are just close friends trying to rebuild their friendship.  If you are a R/S shipper, feel free to read between the lines for something more

--September 2003


	10. March

Disclaimer: Professor Dumbledore and his students are the property of J. K. Rowling.  Information about the Falmouth Falcons is taken from _Quidditch Through the Ages_ by Kennilworthy Whisp (aka J. K. Rowling).  Information about lethifolds is from _Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them_ by Newt Scamander (aka J. K. Rowling). 

Choosing the Head Boy Chapter 10—March 

"The good news," Professor Grianan said with a smile as he sat on an empty desk in the front of the classroom, "is that this will be the last major writing assignment you'll have to do for me.  After this report, we'll stick with practical lessons and short writing assignments as you prepare for your N.E.W.T.'s.

            "Choose your topic by our next class and have a second topic in case your first choice proves too popular.  Madam Pince will kill me if open warfare breaks out in the library because too many of you covet the same books.  

            "And on the subject of books, yes, you may have access to the materials in the Forbidden Section of the library _if_ they pertain to your topic.  Just let me know what you need, and I'll write you a note. 

            "Remus, could I see you for a moment after class.  The rest of you, class dismissed."

            Their Advanced Defense class was a large one with not only most of the seventh-year Gryffindors and Slytherins in the class, as was traditional, but a large number of students from Ravenclaw and Hufflepuff as well.  Defense Against the Dark Arts had become a more popular class with every passing year that Lord Voldemort and his Death Eaters continued unchecked.  

The Gryffindors all hung back as the Slytherins, on the left side of the room and thus closer to the door, made their way out.  The buffer zone of Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs also left, and then finally the Gryffindors, who favored the right side of the classroom, headed into the corridor as well.

"May I escort you to lunch, Miss Evans?" James said as he offered Lily his arm.  

"Yes, you may, Mr. Potter—_if_ you promise not to discuss Quidditch during lunch."  She took his arm with a smile.

"Not even a little?"

"_Just_ a little."

"Well then, Ladies, may Mr. Pettigrew and I escort the two of you?" Sirius said as offered his arm to Maisie.  "I promise to discuss _civilized_ topics."

"Quidditch is civilized," Maisie said as she took his arm, "unless we're talking about the Falcons."

"Let us win, but if we cannot win, let us break a few heads!" Maisie and Sirius quoted the Falcons' motto together and then laughed.

"And I thought football fans were bad," Lily said with a shake of her head.  "So what does everyone want to do for their reports?"

"I think I'll either do lethifolds or vampires," Ivy said.  "It all depends upon how much information I can find on lethifolds.  Vampires will definitely be easier to find material on, but maybe it's already been done to death—no pun intended."

"When I was little, one of my older cousins scared me so badly with stories about lethifolds that I think I slept with all the lights on for about a year," James said.  "Shadows at night terrified me."

"Yeah, I remember," Sirius said.  "You were thirteen."

"I was not!  It was when I four or five!" James said indignantly.  Sirius began to laugh.  "Prat."

"What are you going to do, Maisie?" Lily asked.

"I want to do something connected to dark magic," she said, "maybe spells that control or influence the mind."

"That's a good idea," James said.  "I think I'll do something connected to dark magic too, but I'm not sure what.  Might as well put the stuff we're studying to be aurors to good use."  They entered the Great Hall and found seats next to Eurydice.  "What are you going to do for your report, Lily?" James asked.

"This might sound weird, but when we were studying Dementors, I kept thinking about the fact that they effect Muggles even though Muggles can't see them, and the fact that the way Dementors make people feel is very similar to clinical depression."

"To what?" Ivy asked.

"It's a Muggle medical term.  So, I'm not quite sure what I'm getting at, but I think there's a report in there somewhere.  Maybe some cases of depression are misdiagnosed exposure to Dementors, or maybe there's some crossover in how they could be treated, or—something."

Remus had arrived in the midst of Lily's explanation.  "Clever girl," he said.  "Any report that requires the consumption of chocolate as research wins my approval."

"Oh, I hadn't thought of that," she said grinning, "but you're absolutely right.  Chocolate will definitely be required."

"What'd Grianan want to see you about?" Sirius asked as he passed the steak and kidney pie to Remus.

"He suggested a topic for my report."

"I bet I can guess."

"I wish you wouldn't."

"What did you say?" James asked.

"That I'd think about it."

"Which is Remus-speak for, 'Hell no, but I'm too polite to say it to your face,'" Sirius translated.

"Boring topic?" Maisie asked.

"No," Remus said with a half-smile as concentrated on buttering a roll, "but let's just say I wasn't too comfortable with _why_ Grianan wanted me to write it."

"Bastard," Sirius muttered as he stabbed a piece of meat with his fork.

"I _like_ Grianan," Remus rebuked him.  "He's straight-forward and honest; I know exactly where I stand with him.  _And_ he's good at what he does, which I definitely like."  Sirius didn't reply, but he continued to stab at his meal.

"What are you going to write about, Sirius?" Ivy asked.

"I don't know.  I'm tempted to be lazy and write about werewolves, but I'd be better off following James's lead and actually learning something that would help me as an auror.  Who knows, it might save my life some day."

"Here's a lesson for you," Remus said a moment before his roll hit Sirius squarely in the face.  "Duck."

"Thank you, Professor," Sirius said as he wiped butter from his cheek.  "I'll treasure that lesson always."

"Why is it lazy to write about werewolves?" Lily asked.

"Because he's already researched the subject to death in past years, and he could write the entire report without opening a book," James explained.

"Too right," Sirius agreed.

"So you're the school's resident expert on werewolves, are you?" Lily asked.

Sirius laughed.  "I wouldn't go _that _far."

"I'd put you in the top two," Remus said as he pushed aside his already empty plate and opened a large and musty book.

"Ooh!  Professor Lupin gave me a compliment!" Sirius gushed in his best imitation of a twelve-year-old schoolgirl.  "Does this mean I'm the teacher's pet?"  

Remus chuckled but did not play along.  

"Go ahead, Lily," Sirius urged.  "Ask me anything about werewolves."

"I don't know."  She glanced around hopelessly at the others.  "Is it true that werewolves can't touch silver, or is that just a myth?"

"Too easy!" James exclaimed.

"Now, now, Jamesy.  It's Lily's turn," Sirius admonished.  "And the correct answer is they _can_ touch silver, they just don't _want_ to.  Ouch!"  The last word was said by all four boys simultaneously.

"My turn," Maisie said.  "Are werewolf bites contagious when they're in human form?"

"Hell no."

"Are you sure?" Ivy asked.  "Because I read—"

"_Yes_, I'm sure," Sirius said emphatically.

"My turn," said Remus as he looked up from his book at last.  "Name a dark magic spell that requires the pelt of a werewolf skinned alive."

"That's sick," Peter murmured.

Remus and Sirius stared at each other for a moment, and then Remus handed Sirius the book he had been reading.  "Maybe you should work on becoming an auror," Remus said.

"Yeah, maybe I should."

"Well, thank you so much for giving me something to have nightmares about, Remus," Eurydice said.  "Still alive?  That's so cruel."

"Being 'nice' isn't exactly a prerequisite for practicing dark magic," Sirius growled.

"They have to do it while the werewolf is still alive," Remus said coolly.  "Werewolves revert to their human state when they die, so if someone wants the pelt, the werewolf has to be skinned alive.  There are at least two spells that can do the job both quickly and neatly enough."

The bench beneath her began to shake slightly, and Lily saw that Sirius, sitting beside her, was shaking one leg as if highly agitated.   James, sitting on her other side, cleared his throat as he pulled off his glasses and began to polish them with his napkin.

"But it's just so—" Eurydice floundered for words.  "I mean, who cares if there's a few less werewolves in the world, but—"

"I care," Sirius growled in a low and dangerous voice.  "Werewolves are _people_, Dice, human beings.  Killing them is _murder_."

"But—"

"No buts," Sirius glared at her angrily.  "They're human beings who've been cursed against their will.  You don't generally hold people responsible for things done to them against their will, do you?"

"That's enough, Sirius," Remus said sharply.

Sirius fell silent but continued to glare at Eurydice.  She appeared close to tears.  Lily glanced over at James.  The tense set of his jaw, and the very deliberate way he was staring at the table betrayed that he was just as angry as Sirius and only slightly better at concealing it.  Lily looked at the other two boys.  Remus appeared calm, although he was watching Sirius carefully.  Peter's eyes were darting from one friend to another, betraying his nervousness.  Lily looked back at Remus again and saw that he was now watching her.

"Don't mind him, Dice," Remus said as his gaze shifted to the teary girl.  "There's nothing wrong with killing a werewolf in self-defense."

"She wasn't talking about self-defense," Sirius said in a low voice.  "And even if she were—"

"C'mon, Sirius," James said as he stood up.  "We're free next period, and I could use some practice against 'the beater from hell.'"

"I'll alert Madam Pomfrey to send a stretcher," Remus said as he took back the book he had given Sirius and put it away in his bookbag.

Remus and Peter left a few moments after James and Sirius did, but they made no effort to catch up.  It was only when all four of the boys were out of sight that Maisie laughed nervously and dispelled the tension they had left behind.

"Well, that was a touchy subject.  Sirius must know a werewolf," Maisie said, echoing Lily's own thoughts.  "Who do you suppose it is?"

"One of his relatives, most likely," Ivy replied.  "The way that family is steeped in dark magic, I'm not surprised to learn that one of them is a werewolf."

But that didn't sound quite right to Lily.  Whoever the werewolf was, it was obviously someone Sirius cared about, and they all knew that Sirius and his family weren't on speaking terms. _ "There was that one uncle he liked, the one who died a few months ago," _she thought.  That theory seemed possible.  If the werewolf wasn't a relative, the only other possibility was that it was a friend.  As far as Lily knew, Sirius hadn't remained friends with any of the children he had been permitted to play with as a child.  Almost to a one, they had become Slytherins, and the enmity between Sirius and their Slytherin classmates was legendary.  _"Not that it could be one of them anyway.  They'd never let a werewolf into Hogwarts, and if they ever found out one was a student, he'd— 'be thrown out of school so fast he wouldn't even have time to pack.'"_   James's words about Remus's "illness" came back with startling clarity.  _"Remus?"_

Lily realized that she had to sort this through.  All of the clues and hints were at war within her mind.  Some details, like Sirius's obsession with the subject and the anger both he and James felt when Dice had said, "Who cares if there's a few less werewolves in the world," fit into the puzzle.  Other details, like Remus's calmly defending Dice, didn't.  She pulled out of her reverie and realized that the others had moved on from Sirius's family in general to Bellatrix in particular.

"Her eyes are deep-set enough," Ivy said.  "The kohl is overkill."

"I'll see you guys later," Lily said as he picked up her bag and headed out of the Great Hall.  She needed quiet and privacy.  She couldn't go to the common room; James and Sirius had been headed back to Gryffindor to get their cloaks and brooms.  She decided to go find an out of the way corner of the library.  If Remus and Peter were in the library, a slight detour could bring her to the prefects' office instead.

As she headed in her chosen direction, her mind returned to the puzzle.  The biggest problem, _"Remus just doesn't behave like a werewolf."_  She still remembered the fearsome portrait painted of the monsters by Professor Swiven, their Defense teacher for their first three years.  

He had said, "Although they only reveal their true form during the full moon, the blood-thirsty wolf is always there.  Even in human form, a werewolf is violent, ruthless, and untrustworthy.  If it manages to control its murderous urges while human, it's not because it has regard for human life.  A beast doesn't have a conscience.  It's merely trying to avoid detection.  Every werewolf lives for that one night a month when it can glory in the hunting and eating of human flesh."  And it wasn't just Swiven.  Most of the books said much the same.

_"So he isn't a werewolf,"_ Lily thought.  _"He can't be.  But if he isn't a werewolf, what is wrong with him?"_  She knew that most of the time he seemed healthy, but that his illness occasionally flared up badly enough to put his life at risk and to put him in hospital for several days. _"Lots of illness can behave like that; sickle cell anemia, MS, malaria—but his symptoms don't match any of those."_  She also knew that he was contagious.  _"James said so—but he also said that he was only contagious 'sometimes.'    What kind of illness is contagious 'sometimes'?  Lots of illnesses: measles, chicken pox, mumps, you're only contagious for a limited amount of time.  But repeatedly contagious?  On the same days it flares up?"  _Lily couldn't find the answer.  

Only a few people were visible in the library, and Remus was not among them.  Lily made her way to her favourite out-of-the-way desk hidden in the Charms section.  It was the place she went when she wanted to work or to revise undisturbed.

Out of curiosity, Lily opened her homework planner and looked to see if the dates of the full moons were marked on the calendar.  Her hand stilled over the page as she saw a circle printed on February fifteenth.  If it hadn't been the night after Valentine's Day, the night after the murders, she probably wouldn't have remembered when Remus had been ill.  _"Just coincidence,"_ she tried to tell herself.  She tried to remember other dates when he had been ill, but she couldn't.  One day he'd be in class, the next day he'd miss part or all of the day's classes, and then he'd be back, surrounded by his friends.  And for the life of her, Lily couldn't remember when those days had been.  Had it been exactly once a month?  Had it always been the full moon?  She looked at March in the calendar.  _"Tuesday, March sixteenth.  Will Remus be absent the next day?"_

_"Assume for a minute that he might be a werewolf,"_ she told herself.  _"Do the other symptoms of his illness fit? Occasionally contagious?"_  That one matched.  Sirius had been quite emphatic that werewolves were only contagious in their wolf form.  _"Self-inflicted injuries?" _ For a moment, she didn't think it did.  Remus had apparently tried to slit his wrists.  The image of a wolf holding a knife between his teeth and trying to slit open the veins in his forelegs came unbidden into her mind like some sick joke.  Then she imagined the teeth themselves, sharp canine teeth, honed by evolution into weapons for tearing flesh, tearing into the wolf's legs.  She remembered reading stories of wolves caught in traps gnawing off their own limbs rather than remain trapped.  _"Do werewolves do that if they're trapped somewhere?"_

The next piece of the puzzle definitely did not fit.  James had said, "If we stay with him, we can keep him from injuring or killing himself."  If Remus were a werewolf, that would be impossible.  Professor Grianan was less hostile toward werewolves than Swiven had been, but even he had made it clear that there was no known way to tame or control a transformed werewolf.  

"Werewolves must be kept confined during the full moon, and _if_ they escape, they must be killed," he'd said.  "Stunning spells are ineffective.  Driving werewolves off with other spells will merely shift the danger from you to someone else.  Unless they stay confined, they must be killed for the safety of all." 

So how could James and his other friends stay with Remus during a full moon?  "We've come up with a way to stay safe while we're with him," James had said.  

Lily almost laughed.  _"If anyone could come up with a way to stay with a werewolf and be safe, James and Sirius would be the ones to do it."_

It _almost_ all fit.  Except for the fact that Remus did not behave the way that werewolves were supposed to behave, it all fit.  _"Supposed to behave,"_ she reflected.  _"The very definition of prejudice, assuming you know what someone is like based on a group he belongs to.  I thought you knew better than that, Lily_."  Once she removed her preconceived ideas about werewolves, all the other clues began to mesh together.  Lily was reminded of a crossword puzzle.  Four, five, and six down seem impossible to solve until you realize that your earlier answer for four across was incorrect all along.

One other thing that James had said that morning came back to her clearly.  "If you ever do figure it out, it would really mean a lot to him to hear you say that you know and you don't care."  Lily wasn't quite ready to do that.  What if she had added two plus two and somehow had come up with eight?  If she told Remus that she knew he was a werewolf, and it turned out that he was not, she'd completely embarrass both of them.  

_"Well, I know when the next full moon will be.  Let's see what happens."_

* * * * *

"I hate Potions," Remus growled as he erased yet another mistake in his homework.  "I'm never going to pass my Potions N.E.W.T., so why am I torturing myself with this stupid class?"

            "You're doing it for the same reason that James and I are taking it," Sirius said as he inched closer to see what was giving Remus difficulty.  "You can't be an auror without a N.E.W.T. in Potions."

            "I can't be an auror whether I pass or not.  Remember?"

            "Maybe they'll change the rules soon," James pointed out.  "God knows they could use all the help they can get right now."

            Remus sat back in his chair and held out one hand palm up.  "Desperation."  He held out the other hand in the same manner.  "Prejudice."  He silently weighed the two.  The hand holding "prejudice" slowly sank down to the tabletop.

            "Well, if they're going to let a little thing like that keep you out, they probably won't want me either," Sirius said as he made a slight correction on Remus's parchment.  "Can you imagine trusting a _Black_ as an auror?  We'll just have to wage our own private war against old Voldy." 

             "Canine guerrillas," Remus agreed with a slight smile.

            "Don't leave me out," James said.  "You aren't breaking up a successful team."  
            "Yes, we _are_," Remus soberly.  "You're _both_ going to accepted for auror training.  You know you are."  He stared at Sirius until Sirius glanced down at his homework.  "You also know that I won't be.  I'm only applying because—I don't know why.  Maybe I want to force them to turn me down rather than acquiesce without applying.  But they _will_ turn me down, and I don't want either one of you to do something stupid and refuse to join because I can't.  Now, help me pass Potions or I won't even be able to apply."

            "You'll pass," James said with slight smile.  "You'll _barely_ pass, but you'll pass. You do know we're only applying because they need us right now, right?  If they didn't, we'd tell them that if they don't want you, they can sod off."

            "I know, Prongs, but they _do_ need you."

            "What about Sinistra?" Sirius asked.  "He liked that ward of yours.  Do you think he might put in a good word for you?"

            "He might, but I doubt it will do much good.  But Grianan says a lot of people want additional wards and protective spells around their homes and business right now.  I'll probably be able to find some work doing that sort of thing, so don't start pitying me and my hopeless job prospects, O.K.?"

            "Pity you, never;" James said, "get righteously angry on your behalf, whenever necessary." 

* * * * *

James pulled sharply left into a dive just as the bludger whistled by his ear.

"Wake up, Jamie!" Sirius shouted as he shot past.  "I almost got you."

"'Almost' doesn't count!" he shouted back.  But he grudgingly admitted that Sirius had accomplished what he wanted.  James had been positioning himself to receive a pass, but in the moment he was distracted, the other team had stolen possession.  He hung back and watched as one of the opposing chasers passed to her teammate, the quaffle was thrown, and—blocked!

"Time's up, everyone!" James shouted to the Quidditch players swirling around him before he pointed his broomstick toward the ground.  It was getting too dark to continue practice.  They were scrimmaging without seekers, so they didn't need to wait for the snitch to be found.  The Gryffindors starters and reserves landed around him.  They only had three remaining reserve players, hence the reason their seeker was filling in as a chaser for the reserves' team, and Sirius was filling his old role of beater.  Sirius alone had not yet landed.  He circled above, lazily batting away the two bludgers as they repeatedly circled back toward him.

"Ready!" Owen called up to Sirius.  Sirius hit the next bludger directly into the chest that contained the balls between practices, and Owen quickly secured it in with leather straps.  Owen looked back just in time to dodge out of the way when the second bludger followed the path of the first.  The reserve beater dove onto the bludger rather than allow it to escape again.  Owen assisted him in securing it into the chest.

Sirius landed a short distance away and went to sit with his back against the bleachers.  In the air, he'd help them scrimmage and train the reserve player who had moved up to take Isabel's place.  On the ground, he'd stay apart rather than pretend he was still part of the team.

"Ending practice a bit early tonight, aren't you James?" Vivian teased as she held a hand up in front of her face.  "I can still see my own hand."

"And the moon's pretty full tonight.  We could always play by moonlight," Owen agreed.

"Well, if you all want to skip both dinner and homework tonight," James said, "you're welcome to stay all night if you'd like.  But personally, I'm headed back to the castle in a minute.

"Leo, you're doing much better at getting open for passes.  Don't be afraid to get physical.  The other teams won't hold back, so you shouldn't either."  

The newly promoted chaser nodded.  "But I still feel like I'm always one step behind you and Priya."

"Priya and I have been playing together for two years.  No one expects you to know us as well as we know each other."  The words, _"Or as well as Isabel knew us,"_ were implied.  "Owen, you're getting back into the habit of watching the bludger after you hit it.  It's gone.  Look for the other."  

Owen nodded.

"Dinner ends in ten minutes," Sirius called out as he got to his feet.

"You heard the man," James said as he put his broomstick over his shoulder and headed up toward the castle.  Sirius fell into step beside him and the remainder of the team followed behind.

"Want a 'beaters and bludgers only' practice tomorrow evening?" Owen asked his fellow beaters.

"NO ONE is practicing tomorrow night," James said sharply as he turned to face the team.  "It's a full moon tomorrow."

"C'mon, James," Owen said.  "Werewolves in the Forbidden Forest?  It's just a story to keep the kiddies out."

"No, I've heard howling," Priya said.  "Open a window tomorrow night and listen."

"Bet you five galleons that you'll hear howling tomorrow night," Sirius said with a grin.  "Any takers?"

"Song of Myself," James said to the Pink Lady when the team finished eating their last minute dinner and made their way upstairs.

"I'm not letting you in the Common Room covered in mud."

"But we need to get _inside_ to clean up."

"You should have taken changes of clothes down with you to the pitch and cleaned up in the locker room," she retorted.

"You're quite right, but we didn't.  Song of Myself."

"Very well," she said with a huff as she swung open.  "I will never understand how a game played in mid-air allows one to get so muddy."

James spotted Lily's glowing auburn hair the moment he climbed through the portrait hole and leaned over the back of a sofa to see her.  "Care to give your favorite Quidditch god a little kiss?"

"Sure.  When did Declan McCormack get here?"

"Ooh, you're cruel, Evans."

She gave him a quick kiss and said, "Bathe, and maybe I'll reconsider who my favorite is."

James caught up to Sirius just as he entered the seventh-year boys dormitory.  "Uh-oh," Sirius murmured at the sight of Remus pacing the diameter of the room.

"He's been doing that since you left," Peter said without looking up from his homework.

"I have not."

"Except for dinner, but then he started again as soon as we got back."

"What's wrong?" Sirius asked.  James shut the door behind them, but they both hung back near the door out of Remus's path.

"She _knows_, James.  I can tell she knows.  She's been looking at me strangely all day."

"He said that he feels trapped up here," Peter added, "but he won't go downstairs because Lily's there."

"We've got awhile until curfew.  Let's go for a walk," Sirius suggested.  "I'll take you on the grand tour of all the sights."

Remus stopped pacing and considered.  "You could use a bath."

"Do you want to wait while I get one?"

"Not particularly."  

"After you, Mr. Moony," Sirius said as he held the door open and bowed dramatically.  As Remus started down the stairs, Sirius stage-whispered to James, "Maybe I'll talk him into letting me into the Prefects' bathroom."

"Good idea," James replied as he stretched his neck to one side and then the other.  The idea of immersing himself in the huge tub and soaking his sore muscles before they tightened up was quite tempting.  However, he too had noticed Lily watching Remus today.  If she had figured out Remus's secret, she might be awaiting tomorrow night's full moon to confirm her suspicions.  James hoped he could steer her into reacting positively—or at least not _too_ negatively—when her suspicions were confirmed.  "But I think that I ought to take a quick shower and have another chat with Lily."

"Thank you," Sirius said as he followed Remus down the stairs.  "You're a prince among men, Prongsy."

He did shower quickly.  He didn't break his own record for "Oops, I'm late; gotta hurry" showers, but he didn't indulge in thinking about Lily while in the steamy heat of the shower either.  His only thoughts of Lily were of the "What am I going to say to her?" variety.  He ultimately decided to let her steer the conversation.  If she did suspect, she'd probably find a way to steer the subject to Remus.  And if she didn't suspect—although he found that less likely—the subject needed to be avoided.

Lily was still sitting cross-legged on the same sofa, a textbook and notebook open on her lap.  Ivy, sitting beside her, whispered something to Lily when she saw James.  Ivy then rose and announced, "I'm off to the library.  See you later."

"Don't keep your Ravenclaw waiting," James said with a grin as he took her vacated seat.

"His _name_ is Jonathan."

James glanced around the common room.  Maisie, Dice, and Peter were working together at a large table halfway across the room.  However, he and Lily weren't exactly alone enough for the conversation they needed to have.  Younger students filled nearby seats.

"You clean up nicely," Lily commented.  "You smell much better at least."

"Am I your favorite Quidditch god now?" he asked as he began to twirl a lock of her hair around his finger.  There was something mesmerizing about the sheen of deep red against his skin.

"That would imply that you _are_ a Quidditch god, and I'm not willing to make that implication.  I much prefer you the way you are now to the swollen-headed git you used to be."

"Swollen-headedness is indeed a terrible curse," James agreed in a sober tone, "and there are only two known countercurses."

"Enlighten me.  I may need to use them on you from time to time."

"You already do.  The first is the use of insults and put-downs; however, 

those can have toxic side effects if an overdose occurs."

"So sorry," she murmured as she kissed him, "but if they work—"

"The second is a liberal application of kisses by an intellectual equal."

"Or superior," she added just before kissing him again.  The sound of someone deliberately clearing his throat made them both look up.  

"Sorry," Darius Murphy said with an embarrassed grin.  "Hate to interrupt, but I have hall duty tomorrow night, and a bunch of people from my Potions class want to have a study group for our upcoming test.  Since I took one of your shifts last month, James, I was wondering if maybe you'd take tomorrow night?"

"Tomorrow?" James hated to say, "No."  After all, he did owe Darius.  And Padfoot and Wormtail could probably keep Moony entertained inside until he could get there, but—

"I'll do it," Lily said.  "James already has plans for tomorrow.  I'll let him take one of my shifts, and then we'll all be even again."

"Thanks!" Darius said grinning again.  "Back to what you were doing then."

James regarded Lily for a few moments.  She began to blush and stared down at their entwined hands.  

"I already have plans, do I?" he said very quietly.

"Well, I thought—never mind."

"No, you're right.  I do.  Are you O.K. with that?"

"Not really.  I'm worried about you, but you said that if you're there, it helps.  Are you _sure_ you're safe?"

"Very sure.  Do you remember what I said?  When you figure it out, it would mean a lot to Remus to hear you say that you know, and you don't care."

She nodded without looking up at him.  "I'm right, aren't I?"

James chuckled.  "Considering that you haven't actually told me what you suspect, I can't tell you if you're right or not.  However, you have correctly deduced _when_, so—I can only suppose that you've guessed correctly.  Remus is having an absolute panic attack right now because he knows that you suspect."

"Why?" she asked as she looked up in surprise.  "I promised you that I wouldn't tell anyone."

"But you made that promise before you _really_ figured it out.  He's afraid you'll react badly when you're sure."

She glanced back toward the portrait hole.  "I should talk to Remus and tell him I don't care."

"Please do.  Otherwise, he won't be able to sleep tonight, which means Sirius won't be able to sleep tonight, which means I won't be able to sleep tonight, and we'll probably keep Peter up for good measure.  Not to mention that—never mind."  He had been about to say that Remus might tear himself to shreds if he went into tomorrow night still worried, but that was going too far.  Lily didn't need that visual image.

"Where did he and Sirius go?" she asked as she closed her books.

"No clue.  We're best off just waiting for them here.

"In that case—" Lily opened her books again, "—want to help me study Potions?"

"We could study Defense instead.  You just might have some new questions about a particular dark creature."

Lily smiled.  She _had _guessed correctly.  "Or maybe I should ask Remus instead. He _is_ the resident expert on the subject, isn't he?"  

"He is."  James smiled back.

"And he said that Sirius was in the top two, so that leaves you third at best."

It was just shy of curfew—Remus's doing, no doubt—when James's canine friends returned to Gryffindor Tower.  Given Remus's earlier reluctance to be in the common room, James expected Remus to disappear up the dormitory stairs, but instead, he came directly over and sat down in an armchair near Lily.  Sirius, half a step behind, perched on the arm of the chair.

"Discover any interesting new sights on the Grand Tour?" James asked.

"No, just rediscovered the old ones," Sirius replied.  He glanced at Lily and then mouthed the word "Well?" at James.

Lily didn't notice.  Her attention was on the quiet young man looking back at her.  "I owe you an apology, Remus," she said.  He looked puzzled, but before he could ask, she explained, "James said that I gave you a panic attack."

"Gee, thanks," he said dryly to James.  "Feeling much better now.  What's the worst that can happen?  Expulsion?  Complete and utter rejection and banishment?"

"Don't forget being chased through the village by an angry torch-carrying mob," Sirius added as he draped an arm around Remus's shoulder.  

"You aren't helping," Remus said without look back at him.

"None of the above," Lily said.  "Not because of me."

"She knows everything?" Remus asked James.  

"About _you_, yes.  Although she might have one or two questions that you can answer."

"Not here," Remus said as he glanced around the crowded common room.

"Not now," Sirius added as he stood up.  "Moony and I both need to finish our Potions assignment before tomorrow.  Thank you, Lily.  You really are wonderful."  He gave her a kiss on the cheek before crossing the room to whisper in Peter's ear.

"Thank you doesn't seem enough," Remus said very quietly, "but—thank you, Lily.  _Really_."  He too gave her a kiss and then met Sirius at the base of the dormitory stairs.

            Lily watched them go with a smile.  It seemed strange that such a little thing as her acceptance could matter so much to someone.  How anyone could hate Remus, she simply couldn't fathom.  He wasn't a monster.  He wasn't a dark creature.  He was just—_Remus_.  A student who loved Defense but hated Potions, who loved chocolate but hated Every Flavour Beans, who was kind and considerate but allowed his friends to get away with murder anyway.  He wasn't perfect, but wasn't a monster.  He was Remus, and she was glad to have him as a friend.  She looked over at Peter and saw that he was smiling at her.  "Thank you," he mouthed.  She looked back at James and found that he was smiling at her as well.

"I love you, you know," he said.

Author's Note:  Once again, I must apologize for keeping you waiting for this chapter.  I got caught up in writing two other stories.  "The Nicest Thing My Mother Ever Did for Me" is a prequel to this story, and "Getting Outed" is under my other pen name, mysid.  Both are complete, so if you decide to take a look, you won't have to fear my keeping you waiting with those as well.

--October 2003


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